


You Look Into The Future And It Tells You Nothing

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Hockey RPF, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Hockey, Alternate Universe - Human, Emotional Infidelity, Emotionally Repressed, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Family Secrets, Minor Character Death, Multi, National Hockey League, Rivalry, Secret Relationship, Serious Injuries, Sexual Confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 04:29:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 46,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki Laufeyssen has big dreams of making it in the NHL. He's got the skills and the plan. He has nothing else in his sights. He loves the game and that's all he cares about.</p><p>Thor Odinssen has his own reasons for making it and is the perfect foil to Loki's precise game and the NHL automatically pits them as rivals. </p><p>Which is fine on the ice. Off-the ice, Loki never thought that things wouldn't be the same. But then, he hadn't figured his own emotions and Thor in his plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So Take Another Breath

**Author's Note:**

> I can only blame tumblr, my love of Hockey and Thor for this AU. A sort of analogue was born in that Loki is Sidney Crosby and Thor is Alexander Ovechkin with a bit of Jonathan Toews mixed in. 
> 
> Other than that, I don't know how else I decided to write Loki as a Pen and Thor as a Hawk. But hey, here it is. 
> 
> Title taken from Bastille's Icarus and proofed, but if mistakes occur, my apologies.

"So what was it this time?" Bylestyr asked as he prodded at the gaping wound in the back of Loki's head as he daubed at it with a piece of cotton wool and hydorgen peroxide as he debated driving his little brother to the hospital. It wasn't as bad as it originally had looked when Loki had come home with the back of his jersey drenched in blood and with Loki barely able to hold back the tears.

"I got called up before any of them did." Loki muttered, hissing as the blood was wiped away. He was face down on the couch and although he could let himself cry, he didn't dare. He had had learned as much in all the years of playing. He didn't show any weakness unless he knew he was alone.

Not even when his dam would come into his room and murmur words of comfort while stroking his hair did he break. Only in the darkness, did he let his sorrow show. He didn't dare get comfortable lest he slipped up.

Helblindi had already left to chew out the coach and the arena facilities and Laufey and Farbauti were on their way home from meeting with the team. The hazing, a nuisance at first, had crossed the line and the family was sick of it. Although Loki hadn't wanted any of them to get involved or to know, this time, it had gone too far.

On the ice, he was faster and simply better than the rest of the idiots he played with. He could avoid the hits and he could move faster than they did. He could score and play. Nothing mattered on ice except the game. Not the taunts, not the dirty hits and not the jeers of what was supposed to be his team.

It was the game that he lived for, ever since he had learned to skate. But he was done. There was no reason for him to stay there any longer.

He had endured years of being taunted by everyone (including parents) and not being able to wear his jersey in case he got his head slammed into a the wall or chased in the parking lot. But this, despite being so careful, was the last straw.

"Congrats on that. Fucking bastards. So what are you going to do? Oh and there's no need for the hospital or stitches. It's not bleeding anymore, but that bump is going to stay there for awhile and you're coherent enough, so even off duty as a paramedic, I can tell that you should be fine."

Loki felt Bylestyr give his head a few more swipes before he patted Loki on the shoulder so that he could sit up and move into the corner of the couch. It was his safe spot and it was something he did when he was upset, so Bylestyr left him to it as he got rid of the bloody gauze and took Loki's equally stained jersey and shirt into the wash.

Once he returned, he handed his younger brother a cup of tea mixed with condensed milk and a splash of coffee cream. Loki took it gratefully and sipped it, savouring the richness of the tea and milk. It was his one indulgence and although it didn't make his problems go away, it did help in soothing him enough to get a clear head and plan.

"So yeah, what are you thinking of doing then? You going to go up?"

"It's a done deal. I'm probably going to be there for a few games. Nothing more. I'm only 15."

Bylestyr nodded and curled up in the couch, careful to keep some space between himself and his brother.

"And after that?"

Loki took a sip of his tea and swallowed it down before putting his mug down on the end table. He pulled his jacket closer and rummaged in his pocket before pulling out a carefully folded cream-stock envelope. He unfolded it and passed it over to his older brother.

"Shattuck St. Mary's?" Bylestyr asked as he saw the stamp on the corner of the envelope.

Loki nodded, his mug again in his hands as he pretended to not notice Bylestyr's reaction at what the letter contained.

It had been a complete shock when it had arrived that morning before he was off to school and then to practice. He only had the time to finally read it when he had been on the bus to practice. He hadn't really made a decision because he hadn't been sure of it.

Shattuck was too damned far and he didn't want to leave his family just yet. He would have to, eventually. Jotunheim wasn't going to be able to challenge him for much longer. He knew he was going to the NHL as certain as he was of being Loki Laufeyssen.

But after that horrific practice and the aftermath, it was a no brainer.

"You're going to take their offer then?"

Loki's mouth twists before he gives a jerky nod.

Bylestyr handed him back the letter and envelope and sighed heavily.

"I always knew that you would have to go. Just didn't think it was going to have to be this damned early though."

"If it's any consolation, I didn't either."

Bylestyr snorted and let his head drop back on the top of the chesterfield.

"Yeah, well. Don't forget to write then."

It was Loki's turn to snort.

~*~*~*~*~*  
"Laufeyssen, you got a package." Johnson told him when he came back from practice.

"Thanks." Loki replied, taking off his tuque and shaking out his sweaty hair. He needed a shower, but he wants to see what his family sent him. It's late, but he's already got his homework done and there was something about his faceoffs that were bothering him. So he had stayed until he could barely walk. He was tired, but he was sure that he had improved the problems greatly.

He put his equipment back carefully before tearing into the pacakge and letting out a pleased noise at the treats inside.

"Lucky." Johnson muttered when he caught sight of the treats. Loki froze, not quite sure how Johnson managed to move so stealthy that Loki didn't even notice him right there and looking down at the box and its contents.

Maybe it was the treats, or the fact that no one was being a dick to him and he had some room to breathe and work on his game. Or that he didn't have to look over his shoulder whenever he was wearing his jersey and going to practice. He didn't know exactly what prompted the burst of generosity that had him giving Johnson some of his treats.

"Thanks, Lokes!"

Loki blinked at Johnson's back as his roomate bounded off to drop one of the candy packages amongst his books before shoving the rest of it into his desk drawers.

Huh. He'd never had a nickname before.

~*~*~*~

"You're up, Lokes."

Loki nodded and climbed onto the ice, his mind already reading all the plays he could possibly make. It was the Memorial Cup game and the crowd was nearly deafening. They could taste the win as much as he could and that gave him even more incentive than before. He was determined to bring the Memorial Cup to the Voltigeurs.

He was picked to take the face-off and he skated over, his stick clutched in his hands and ready to do it. He didn't even bother looking up at his opponent. He had already mapped out the play and was ready to see it to fruition.

The ref blew the whistle and they all got in position. Loki kept his eye on the puck and once it dropped, he simply snapped it to his side and everyone was off. His teammates did the rest and Loki skated alongside them, avoiding the dirty hits like he always had and skated for all he was worth to get in scoring position.

Once he was there, it was easy to receive the pass and tip it in the top corner. The light went on and he breathed a sigh of relief, the pressure easing just a bit. His teammates congratulated him, their eyes already shiny with the idea of victory.

Loki couldn't blame them. They had a two point lead and time was running out fast. They just had to hold on to that lead for just a bit longer and it was all theirs. Just a few more minutes.

They fought like mad to keep the Sea Dogs away from any scoring chances. Loki was hit once, but he managed to shake it off and finish his shift, his knee jiggling fast as he watched the numbers wind down.

And then it was over.

It was a blur of sound and movement right after, all of them spilling over the boards and into the arena, gloves and equipment everywhere. Loki was smothered in so many hugs and nearly deafened by screams of his teammates. It was one of the sweetest things ever.

He looked up and saw his family there, watching and cheering and he knew that leaving had been the best choice after all.

It was confirmed when his agent called him the next week.

Teams were interested and the NHL combine was beckoning.

And then it seemed like in no time, he had found himself sitting at a table in a clean white shirt with a green-striped tie and his name proudly displayed in stark black letters. His palms were sweaty as he kept his eyes focused on the front as the names started to be called out.

He knew that there was another name being twinned with his,another player from the London Knights. Odinssen, or something. He had been too nervous to actually focus on the name. He was sure he knew it, was aware of his competition and would probably meet him once the draft was said and done. But right now, he needed to know when exactly his name was going to go and to which team.

He didn't have long to wait and it actually came as a surprise when he heard it: "The Pittsburgh Penguins are proud to pick Loki Laufeyssen as our first draft pick."

His father clapped him on the arm and his dam smiled at him as he stood up, a smile of both relief and joy spread across his face as he went up the stairs and received his jersey and cap from Mario fucking Lemieux. He knew he looked like an idiot as he pulled on his jersey, his face stuck in a rictus of joy and disbelief that he had actually made it.

After all the shit he had waded through, he had done it. He was in the nHL. He was the first draft pick and now all that waited was the Stanley Cup and Olympic glory.

His head was full of dreams already as he did the usual meet and greet with the team, the commissioner, the reporters and everyone that was wanting a piece of him, more or less. Despite hating it, he endured it. He knew that it was just part of the game and had been taught how to respond accordingly due to all the hated media classes he had been forced to attend the moment that his talent had made people keep their eyes on him.

The dreams were halted to a stop when he met the number two draft pick. The third one, Ryan, was around somewhere. Loki had to admit that he had lost track of him after the waves and waves of people wanting to come and talk to him.

"Hey! You're Lokes, yeah?"

Loki had to blink at the excited and exuberant player in the red jersey with the distinctive Blackhawks logo smack in the middle of the chest. He was the same height as him, but broader across the chest and shoulders and with long blonde hair spilling out from under his Blackhwaks cap.

"Yeah. Loki Laufeyssen." Loki replied slowly, remembering his manners at the last moment and sticking his hand out, which was engulfed by the large paws of the other player.

A frisson went through Loki when their hands touched and he was sure that Odinssen felt it when his eyes widened slightly at the same time that Loki's palm touched his. But he didn't say anything and only let go when Loki cleared his throat meaningfully.

"Oh! Uhm! Nice! I'm Thor Odinssen. Used to play for the London Knights and got picked by the Blackhawks. Listen, they're going to do the pictures now. They asked me to come and get you. So we gotta get going."

Thor jerked his head to the photo room Loki had passed earlier and nodded, putting his hand in his pocket and pretending to be nonchalant despite his heart hammering in his chest as he followed right after Odinssen, his mouth drying up as he finally realized where he had heard the name.

Or rather, seen it.

It had been in the Draft Picks issue of the Hockey News that Helbindi had shown him the last time he had visited home.

He now remembered the headline:

"Laufeyssen and Odinssen-Who will be the Next One?"


	2. Living Beyond Your Years, Acting Out All Their Fears.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's got talent and heart that Balder does his best to nourish despite his parent's preoccupations with two younger siblings. But when tragedy strikes, Bragi reluctantly steps in and ends up guiding Thor through the minors in the London Knights and then to the Draft. 
> 
> Where he ends up immediately cast as Laufeyssen's foil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have the chapters alternate between Loki and Thor, so here is Thor's side of the story, so to speak. 
> 
> Thor's path is a bit different than Loki's and they will get to have some interactions in the third chapter when they actually meet on the ice. 
> 
> It has been proofed, but hey, mistakes do happen. 
> 
> Title is again from Icarus by Bastille.

Thor sat with Bragi in the cavernous church. His suit was stiff with newness, as was Bragi’s and it smelled of too many chemicals. His shirt collar was stiff and he had tugged at his tie until a soft word from Bragi made him stop. He normally wouldn’t have listened to Bragi, but his brother’s exhaustion and bloodshot eyes made him behave. He understood, even at eight years old that this wasn’t the time for him to misbehave.

His mother and father flanked them, his mother’s rings cutting tightly into his hand as they sat through the hymns. He sneezed at the incense wafting through the church and kept his eyes on the stained window that depicted St. Olaf. He didn’t want to look at the front of the church and see Balder there and be reminded that he wasn’t going to ever see his brother again after the mass was over. Balder had finally lost his fight with cancer. After six torturous years of being in and out of hospital, Balder had finally succumbed.

Bragi had been the one to tell Thor, waking him up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down his face.

Balder was gone and Nanna had been left to raise their son alone and Thor couldn't imagine life ever going bak to normal ever again. He hid in the rink, practicing and practicing and trying to remember what Balder had told him before he had gotten too sick to come and see Thor play.

He wanted to keep the image of Balder as he had been back then: Tall, strong, with his neat brown hair and blue eyes always shiny with amusement and affection. Thor didn't want to remember him how he had been in the end, emaciated, his bald head covered by a tuque and his eyes sunken and dull in his fine-boned face. He also didn't ever want to forget that it was Balder that had fought to give him a chance to play.

All of this was at the forefront of his mind as he curled up against Bragi, who put his arm around him. Bragi wasn't Balder, but they were brothers. They were family and he would understand the loss that was breaking his heart as much as it was breaking Bragi's. And he knew, that despite whatever Bragi was, he would never lie to Thor.

Nor would he tell him it was all going to be okay when it wasn't. That was at least one thing he could rely on Bragi on: Never sugarcoating the truth. Even when it hurt.

They sat like that, even when the adults stood up and the muic stopped for the service to begin. Bragi never moved, only to brush away his tears and to give Thor a tissue. That was all that he remembered from the funeral. He didn't remember even going to the graveyard or seeing Balder one last time. All he remembered of that day was Bragi next to him, dragging him places and making sure that he was fine.

The next day, Bragi was the one to wake him up at five for practice.

Thor knew what kind of a sacrifice that was for his brother to do. But he did it without much complaining. He also was the one to cheer him on at games when their parents couldn't go or were too busy with the baby Hodr and Balder's boy. Bragi had taken over Balder's role and no more was said about Balder again.

~*~*~*~*

"Hey, get down here! You're going to be late for practice and the game!" Bragi called up from the bottom of the stairs, his keys jangling in one hand while he texted his girlfriend Idunn with the other.

"Allright! Give me a minute!" Thor shouted down the stairs, making Bragi snort and shake his head. They went through the same routine every morning and every afternoon after Thor was let out of the Academy. Bragi had long inured himself to it and simply killed the time by texting Idunn and making plans with his friends. It was just one of Thor's quirks. He knew he had his own, so it was all fair play.

He had just finished texting when Thor finally bounded downstairs, dressed in his usual practice gear and an impish smile on his face. Despite seeing it change since he was a child, it still took him aback how open it remained despite him being a teenager. At sixteen, he was close to topping Bragi's even six feet and was built solid like their father.

Seeing him there made Bragi wonder if Balder would have been built the same, or if he would have been more like him and Hodr and mother. The thoought was pushed quickly away. There was no point in wondering. It also wasn't fair to compare his brothers.

"Let's do this, then!" Thor shouted as he jumped the last stairs and slung and arm around Bragi's shoulders and nearly making him drop his phone.

"Christ! Thor! Get off me, you overgrown child! Grab your shit and let's get going! Come on!"

Thor laughed, but moved away from his brother and followed suit.

~*~*~*~*~

"Go kid! Come on! Go!" Bragi shouted as he watched the game, only pausing to answer his chirping phone. He looked down at the screen and nearly dropped his phone in surprise when he saw it was a text from Hodr via their mother.

"Tell Thor we're watching the game and good luck to him."

Bragi frowned at the phone, unsure of how to reply when his attention was taken by the eruption of cheers from the arena. He looked up in time to see Thor skating away from a dejected goalie, his arms and stick up pretending to shoot it like a shotgun.

He added his cheer to the noise and chanced a quick glance at the scoreboard. Thor's team was winning by two now and there was only ten minutes left in the second period. He sat back and smiled as he watched Thor skate back to the bench and grin at the congratulations he was getting from all of his teammates.

Seeing him so happy and so alive made him glad that he had given Balder his word to keep Thor in the game. He had known how hard it had been for Balder to convince their parents to let Thor play. The Academy hadn't come cheap. Nor had the equipment and the time needed to get Thor to practices and games.

He had also known that Balder had seen Thor's potential and joy long before the rest of them had and Bragi had to admit, after seeing Thor in his element, Balder had been wiser than all of them by fighting for Thor to get his chance. He had made the promise grudgingly, but he now longer held onto those feelings. He couldn't when Thor was that happy.

"He's good, isn't he?"

Bragi blinked and turned to look at who had spoken. It was a man in a non-descript grey suit with a notepad open covered in longhand notes about the players on the ice. His demeanour was poised and his eyes were sharp, making Bragi wonder if he was one of the scouts that he had heard rumours about now that Thor was eligible to play in the minors.

"Yeah. He is." Bragi replied carefully, his fingers twitching around his phone.

He wasn't sure why, but his instincts told him to be extremely careful at any comments the man sitting two seats away had made. He didn't quite know that much about hockey other than what he had absorbed from being on the periphery of the hockey world, but he also knew that if this was a scout, then he couldn't ruin Thor's chances for a future career by saying the wrong thing.

"He's not as technical as Laufeyssen in the QJHML, but he's got passion and the skill to back it up. He could make it in the pros." The man continued, smiling briefly before turning back to the game and making Bragi realize that his little brother truly did have a chance to go pro. He had suspected it, but this confirmed it.

He didn't have time to dwell on it though, because the crowd howled again, except that this time, it was because Thor was involved in a knock-out drag out fight on the ice. He shook his head and sighed heavily. He guessed it was part of the game after all.

~*~*~*~*~

"Gordie Howe hattrick, huh?" Bragi asked as he and Thor walked out of the arena. Thor grinned despite the stitched up swollen lip and black eye that was nearly swollen shut.

"The first one ever." Thor explained proudly, making Bragi punch him in the arm for that.

"Hopefully it won't be the last." A new voice breaks in.

They turn around and Bragi's eyes widen at the sight of the man that he had the brief conversation with while watching Thor's game.

Thor's smile was suddenly gone and he was alert and looking at the stranger with a coldly calculated gaze that was at odds with the expressions that Bragi usually saw on his brother's face. He knew then, how important this meeting was.

"Are you boys hungry? We can talk business over dinner if you want."

Thor looked at Bragi.

"Sure."

~*~*~*~

Bragi shouldn't have been surprised at what happened next, but he still was.

He had been writing up his last essay to go along with his proposal for his PR seminar when Thor burst into his room, his excitement so strong that Bragi was sure he could taste it in the air.

"The London Knights made an offer! I'm going to be playing for the London Knights!"

Bragi blinked before he stood up and grabbed his brother into a bone-cracking hug, thumping him in the back as they embraced.

"I'm so proud of you, little brother! You're going to be awesome!"

Bragi had exclaimed, his eyes a bit wet as he wished that Balder could see how far Thor had come. This wasn't the time for sadness. He wanted to celebrate Thor's success.

"When do you go up?" Bragi asked, letting go of Thor and going to his laptop, making sure to save all of the work he had just done.

"In three days."

Bragi looked at his essay. It only needed a conclusion and he thanked his lucky stars that he had started it with enough time for revisions before it was due.

"You want to wait for half an hour? I just have to finish this and then I promise to take you out to celebrate. We NEED to celebrate!"

Thor's mouth curled up in a grin and he nodded.

"Sounds good."

~*~*~*~*

"Thanks for watching my back out there." Kaner said as Thor wiped up the blood from the cut above his forehead during the intermission.

"No prob. I was the closest." Thor replied, wincing slightly as their medic examined the cut and put butterfly bandages on it.

"Yeah, and now you got a scar because of it." Kaner pointed out, taking a long drink of water and swallowing down. He then wiped his sweaty curls from his forehead and sat back.

"We need to score, man. Desperately."

Thor grunted his agreement, holding still as the last strip was applied and the medic moved away.

"We'll do it. Don't worry. It's our game."

Kaner bit his lip and shrugged, grabbing his helmet and wiping at his face once more.

"If you say so."

"I know so. Now quit being a little bitch and let's do this."

Kaner laughed. "Fuck you, Thorsy!"

They left the dressing room, with both he and Kaner taking the first shift and face-off. Despite Kaner losing the faceoff, Thor got the puck right after and skated fast, passing it to Kaner when he saw the angle and the shot line up perfectly.

Kaner's eyes went wide when he saw what Thor was doing, but he still managed to grab the pass and slam it into the back of the net.

"You shit." Was all he managed to say to Thor before he was crowded by the other guys and then heading off to the bench.

"You love me and you know it. Now quit bitching, Kaner."

Kaner cracked a smile and punched Thor.

~*~*~*~*

  
Bragi was the one that was sitting next to Thor at the draft and he had a hard time tamping down his own excitement when it came to the proceedings. It was a circus and almost overwhelming as he watched all fo the hopefuls sit at their tables and try to not let their nerves get to them. He knew that Thor had hoped and wished that his parents and his brother would have shown up to see this day, but they had opted to not come. Hockey wasn't what they had planned for him and they were busy with Hodr as well.

Hodr had been apologetic, but Bragi understood that he was the only person that Thor could really rely on when it came to his career. Balder's death had created a chasm that nothing could breach. Thor accepted it and could mostly shrug it off while he was playing, but he was still a boy who wanted his parent's approval and had to accept that he would only get it from his older brother.

So now here they were, waiting for the Draft to start. Thor's fingers kept rapping a nervous rhythm on his leg and Bragi had to keep his eyes fixed onto the front. It was starting, he realized the minute that he recognized Lemieux onstage with a card clutched in his hand.

"-Loki Laufeyssen." The place erupted with cheers and he let out a small sigh. He chanced a glance at Thor and saw that his brother was still nervous and tense as he watched the next team come up.

The jersey the owner held was red with white stripes at the bottom and Bragi dimly recalled it was the Hawks that were up. He cursed himself for not paying closer attention to the order of the draft earlier, but it was too late to bemoan the fact.

In the end, it turned out to not matter.

"The Chicago Blackhawks are proud to pick Thor Odinssen as their draft pick."

Thor's eyes widened and he grinned at Bragi, who stood up with him and clapped him on the shoulder before pushing him up to the stage.

He took out his camera and snapped pictures of the moment to later show Jarnaxsa, Idunn and Nanna.

He would also make sure to print a copy and put it on his desk at work.

Bragi had never been so proud of his brother and hoped that wherever Balder was, he could see the wide smile on Thor's face as he pulled on the red jersey and jammed the cap over his long, blonde hair.

~*~*~*~*~

"So I guess sucking has it's advantages, huh Thorsy?"

Kaner greeted him the first day that he showed up for camp.

"If it means playing with you, I'm not sure about that."

Thor replied, completely deadpan and making Kaner squawk and two older team-mates in the back snort with laughter and high-five each other.

"And here you thought that Laufeyssen was the better pick, Tazer."

One of the players, the one with brown hair and a rounder face shouted at the captain, who only shifted his intense gaze at Thor.

"We'll see."

Thor's mouth curled up into a grim smile at that pronouncement, making Tazer's expression flicker.

"We'll definitely see."

Thor nodded and moved to his stall. He wasn't worried that he'd show Toews what he was worth and now that he was paired up with his old line mate...He knew that things were going to go just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hodr was a late addition and I know he was Balder's twin in myth, but in this, he is younger and blind. He's also the one that takes up his parent's time the most because of this. 
> 
> Bragi is the second brother after Balder and that's why he's the one to take up the responsibility that Balder took up with Thor. Bragi in this version does kind of borrow from "The Almighty Johnsons" in looks, personality, not so much. As much as I love the show and Dean O'Gorman, Anders is a prick.


	3. Icarus is Flying Too Close To The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's sidelined and busy deconstructing his career, his need for a proper linemate and Odinssen. All in the span of a slump.

Loki pushed his helmet up and looked at the scoreboard. They were tied with the Caps in the third. He was positive that either a shoot-out or a regulation win could be had, but he’d rather wrap up the game fast. Washington was never one of his favourite venues to play. They hated his guts after he had gone to the Pens and the countless ways they had left them in the dust. Despite their Russian contingent, they never seemed to make it far.

Loki didn’t care, but he had to admit that the hatred for him especially, rankled. Considering that Odinssen and the Hawks also had a hand in walloping them the last times that the Hawks and Caps had met, he felt it was unfair. Odinssen had scored on them six times already and he only had four goals and was considered evil incarnate in Washington. Figures.

Odinssen could do no wrong, it felt like to Loki. Despite being the first draft pick and helping the Pens get out of the basement they had been calling home in recent years, Odinssen was right up there in coverage. Loki scowled whenever he saw those stupid headlines about their rivalry. What rivalry? They weren’t even in the same _division_ , for fuck’s sake!

“Don’t worry about it.” Mario had cautioned him when he had pointed it out once during media training.

“They have always done that. They will do it after you retire. Part of the game, I’m afraid. Not to mention that you and Odinssen are fresh and new in a stagnant sport. No one has had as much impact in recent years.”

Mario had fallen silent then and Loki had shut up. He was sure that Mario was recalling his own days when he was constantly being compared to Gretzky. In Loki’s mind, there was no comparison. But he understood what Mario was trying to say and dropped the issue in the organization. He only bitched about it to Bylestyr when they talked. He didn’t bring it up to Sigyn. Not when they had limited time to see each other.

Despite understanding, it still sucked. Especially when he had to get his ass out on the ice and finish the game without getting bruised up for his efforts.

“You’re up, Lokes.”

He didn’t waste time to get on the ice and move. He already knew that Kunitz and Colby were just waiting for him to get into position and make the play that would leave the Caps enraged and vowing revenge in the next meeting. That was his job, to make the seeming impossible plays happen. He skated rapidly down the ice and grinned to himself when he saw his chance.

It was a beauty and he caught the pass from Brooks without a hitch and was about to slap it into the back of the net when he was shoved from behind, making him go wide. He turned to see Semin’s smirking face and he didn’t think twice about returning the favour.

Nothing happened though. The linesman was right there and the play was paused as they got pulled away from each other. Semin didn’t chirp him and Loki uncharitably thought it was because Semin’s English was as terrible as his game. He shrugged it off as they resumed play.

He got his chance. Well, sort of. He made a sweet pass that Armstrong managed to complete. It wasn’t exactly a show of beauty, but it was good enough to get the goal and squelch the hopes of overtime for the Caps. Or so Loki thought until he saw Semin go past Kunitz and Orpik and score.

Loki was pissed, but he still kept it under control as he ended up taking the face-off against Semin, who smirked at him as they battled for the puck. But Loki got the last laugh, since he volleyed it to Hossa and took off right after to try and make the shot that was denied to him earlier.

He gave Hossa the subtle nod when they stormed the goal and he had just touched the puck with his stick when it came out of nowhere. He was barreled down in front of the net and left on the ice, his side and nose on fire and his breathing shallow and fast.

It hurt. Even with the padding, he wasn’t going to deny that it left him wheezing and in agony. His ribs creaked and he was short of breath. He didn’t register the action stopping and Malone coming to see how he was. All he could register was that he was wheezing and that there was blood dripping on the ice in front of him. It took him a few moments to catch his breath and stop feeling as Malone got him up.

“You okay, Lokes?” He asked as he helped Loki skate back to the bench to have the trainers look at him. He shook his head, not trusting himself to speak as he was then handed off to the trainers and medical team. He was handed a towel that he dyed red almost right away with his blood. He knew his nose was broken and his side was on fire. His breathing though was getting better and that eased his panic somewhat.

“Aw dammit.” Therrien muttered when the trainer pulled back the towel to see the injury. Although there wasn’t a mirror nearby, Loki was sure that his nose was crooked and swollen to hell. The blood flowed like a tap and the trainer took the bloodstained towel away and pressed a new one to Loki’s nose. Even after this event, Loki’s hopeful that he could be back in the game once they stem the flood of blood. The look on Therrien’s face is calculating, but that stops when the trainer puts a hand on Loki’s side, making him yelp in pain.

“Get him to medical. He’s done for the night.”

Loki wanted to argue, but he knew his coach was right. There was no way he was going to be back after that. Another hit would have him completely incapacitated and no one wanted that. Well, on the team, that was.

It’s confirmed right after he’s not going to see action for at least two week’s worth of games. Not only was his nose badly broken and needing surgery; his ribs had been cracked as well. He wasn’t going to be playing for awhile.

He didn’t tell anyone exactly how disappointed he was when they gave him the news.

He also didn’t let on at exactly how annoyed he was at his team losing the game as well.

~*~*~*~

Loki had relaxed slightly after the last couple of games had ended in a regulation win and a shoot-out one. So far, so good and the wins helped ease the crushing disappointment over his ribs and nose needing more time to heal. Five games had turned into seven as a precautionary measure and even though he agreed that he had to take it easy, sitting in the press box to watch the games was getting stale. He was frustrated and anxious to be out there on the ice and proving that he should have the A stitched on his jersey already. He knew he was good alternate captain material and wanted so desperately to prove that he could do it with no problems at all.

But his injuries were holding him back and all he could do was wait and hope that when he went for his next physio session, he would get the go-ahead that he so desperately needed and hoped for. His hopes had been recently dashed and as he settled in the press-box to watch, he wished that the Pens would make this a win tonight. He was sure it would be the case until he saw the Hawks spill out onto the ice. Loki couldn’t help but to stiffen and his lower lip curl up in a sneer as he watched them skate out during the warm-ups.

His eyes skimmed over the rest of the players, only lingering slightly on Sharp and Toews. They were a formidable team and he promised himself to keep an eye on their moves and see if he could come up with different strategies to neutralize them whenever he met them on the ice. Having decided on that plan of action, he turned to look at the others and narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips into a tight, bloodless line when he saw them.

Thor Odinssen and Patrick Kane, the dynamite duo, as the papers had taken to calling them; were casually skating in lazy circles at the arena and having what looked like the best time ever. Loki’s hands clenched involuntarily as he leaned over to get a closer look. They looked as if they hadn’t any other care in the world but to chirp at each other and make little show-off moves. The fans, of course, ate it up, and Loki again was struck by a pang of melancholy and old longing to have that also.

It was true that Pittsburgh were warming up to him with every win and every self-effacing shy smile or soundbite he gave the media. His teammates, he knew, would walk through fire for him, having discovered early on he could chirp with the best of them. This had been a big boon to him, especially since he had made it his goal to appear warmer and more approachable. Loki was damned well aware of what others thought of Jotunheim and the Jotuns in particular. He hadn’t grown up listening to Coach’s Corner just like every Canadian hockey hopeful for nothing. He knew that he had a load of work ahead of him to rectify his hometown’s rep. He had worked to appear less like an icy, aloof and thought he had done fairly well.

Especially since dry wit and shyness were more of his personality than anything else.

But seeing Odinssen and Kane do it so easily and so _well_ made the old desire to be liked surge up again. He hadn’t felt that way ever since he had been a kid and his talent had started to show. It all had hurt: The taunting, the being chased and the blatant abuse that had been hurled at him until he had finally left for Minnesota. He had hardened himself to not feel anything in juniors and found that it served him well now that he was in the NHL.

He knew that it had been successful when the trash-talking had petered off and the shoves had multiplied. He had put them in their place and he knew from the old pattern that was the sign he had won. So it embarrassed him at how easily the Odinssen/Kane pander combo had put him square back in the mentality of the child he had been a long, long time past.

Loki lowered his head and pretended to look at his phone just in case the media caught him and concocted some bullshit story about him being pissed at his stalled return to the ice. Loki’s mouth tilted up at that. Even when he wasn’t on the ice, there were articles about him. He would have laughed, but having all his movements splashed all over sports pages and blogs was getting pretty tiring pretty quickly. Dimly, he wondered if Odinssen felt the same way. Helbindi had commented on the frequency that both of them were written about, citing that if someone didn’t know better; they would have assumed that they were on the same team.

Loki had only once thought about being Odinssen’s teammate when he had caught a Hawks game to check out his competition. The way Odinssen moved fast for a man his size, the aggressiveness and the scoring touch was all that Loki wanted and needed in a partner. He had good team-mates, but he needed to do more than just be good with someone. He needed to click with a linemate and he was sure that when that happened, the Pens would explode. He realized this when he watched Odinssen and Kane play and had found himself slightly jealous that Odinssen wasn’t _his_ center.

He was still musing about the probability of that actually happening when they cleared the ice. He sat up in his chair and put his phone away. The game was about to begin.

The Pens were going to crush them.

~*~*~*~*

Loki was beyond pissed when the final buzzer rang and allowed his teammates to skate off and hide their shame. As they very well should have. The humiliating 5-1 loss was hard for him or anyone to take. Loki was seething as he recalled all the botched plays and uncapitalized chances. Not to mention the lost face-offs. There were also the turn-overs and worst of all, the seriously ugly goals that Odinssen, Sharp and Kaner had managed on Flower. Their defense had been terrible and their scoring chances were almost nil.

Odinssen and the Hawks had demolished them at home and Loki was sure he was going to have to wade through interminable articles wondering if Loki was just a flash in the pan and Odinssen was the real thing when he read the papers the next morning. He was sure of it. Thinking about that made him scowl as he stood up from his seat. The Hawks had won the battle, but they wouldn’t win the war so easily.

The next time, Loki vowed as he limped out of the press-box and towards the dressing room to commiserate with his team-mates, the Hawks weren’t going to be on the winning side when they met. He wasn’t going to let it happen on his watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemieux and Gretzky-The two players that were often compared in the 80's and 90's. They weren't rivals, per se, but the papers painted them as such. They love that stuff, so it's on Loki and Thor here.
> 
> Coaches Corner- A hockey pundit show that has Ron McClelland and Don Cherry. They might have been decent back in the day. Well, Ron. Cherry is a fucking idiot and we all have to endure his horrible rants and suits. Cherry used to coach the Bruins during the time they got their asses handed to them by the Habs. 
> 
> Did do some research for injuries and I know that hockey players are insane levels of tough, but those injuries would sideline him for that long. 
> 
> Loki's position is still undetermined. Will reveal it in Thor's chapter. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay, but the end of the semester and finals are upon us. I've been working insane hours and days and have been shifted to a new position after the Spring Festival. I also don't know how soon another chapter will be up. I will be in Europe for a month. We'll see. 
> 
> Rosters are a mix of old and new with the Pens. I'm not sticking with actual years, so there will be players and coaches listed that may not fit in the exact chronology. 
> 
> Cheers and apologies for the delay.


	4. Icarus' Life Has Only Just Begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The showdown that everyone has been clamouring for has finally come. But after and behind the scenes, the aftermath isn't at all what was supposed to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki finally meet face to face and I wanted it to have the feel of Crosby/Ovechkin, but with twists, such as the supporting characters and the outcomes that would move this a bit further into a new territory. 
> 
> Proofed and edited, but if there are mistakes, I apologize and will fix them later. 
> 
> title is still from Bastille's "Icarus"

 

Chapter 4-Icarus’ life has only just begun

Thor ran his hands through his hair as he tried to keep calm and focus on the game ahead. Although it was technically jut a game and one of the two meetings that the Hawks and the Pens had that year, it felt monumental. He hadn’t read much of the stories and had actually made an effort to not do so, but he couldn’t keep all of it out. Not when Bragi was so excited about it and it seemed that Bettman was making it his personal mission to make it as big as it was.

“You good?” Sharpy asked him, eyeing him curiously as he got his gear on.

Thor shrugged and managed a small smile despite the fact that the nervous thrumming was gaining momentum under his skin. It’s a fast, uneven beat and he takes several deep breaths to calm down so that he’s not that worked up and ready to let his momentum go up in flames. Sharpy smacks him on the shoulder in sympathy.

“It’s just the Pens. Think of it that way and not like Bettman wants you to think about it.” Shapy counseled before going off into his own stall to finish getting ready for the game. Thor smiled a bit before turning back to his own stall and doing the same. It was a game against the Pens, their rival for the top spot. He could play. He had Kaner right beside him and the rest of the guys. It wasn’t going to be a big thing.

That was what he focused on while they got ready and during the warm-ups before the game. It lasted up to the first face-off when he faced Laufeyssen.

He was sure that Laufeyssen was painfully aware of the situation. Possibly even more so than the rest of the teams, the fans, the media and even the league. It was all there in the quick flash of emotion that Thor could see in Laufeyssen’s bright green eyes before they both got into position for the face-off. But there was no sign of it on Laufeyssen’s face after that. It was all business and an iron determination to win. Just like it had been with every game reel that Thor had watched before as he fought to get a bead on his opponent.

They were silent as they waited for the puck to drop. None of the usual chirping was present. Thor’s mouth was dry and he was willing to bet that Laufeyssen was as rattled as he was, but hiding it better. Just like a robot, like they all said.

Then the puck dropped and nothing mattered now except the game.

~*~*~*~*~

Thor wiped his face and grinned at the scoreboard when Kaner nudged him to get his attention. He looked at his teammate and they both started snickering. They were in the lead and it just felt good to let out a bit of the giddy energy that they had built up during the last couple of periods. The UC was completely mad and the Pens fans were almost an even match, creating almost a playoff atmosphere.

“However this goes, the fans aren’t going to forget seeing Odinseen and Laufeyssen playing for the first time” Kaner told Thor.

“Jealous, Kane?” Tazer deadpans, making Thor snort.

Although he was still wary of his captain, Thor has grown to appreciate the sharp wit that came out infrequently. It kind of reminded him of Balder. Especially since in some lights, Thor could swear that Tazer looked like Balder’s twin. It would only be for a few seconds before the illusion was shattered, but it never failed to both comfort and unnerve him in equal measures.

His thoughts were interrupted by Kaner letting out a short bark of laughter before nudging Tazer, who was sitting right beside him as they waited for their shift.

“Oh please. Thorsy’s not going to last. I might as well let him have his moment in the sun before you and I steal his thunder.”

Tazer only had time to shake his head before he was called up again.

Thor looked up and noted the time before looking down and catching the eye of Laufeyssen, whose expression was one he couldn't even begin to decipher. It was so still and his dark green eyes didn't ease any of the eeriness that Thor was feeling. It was too intense and it made him feel as if he was being studied to figure out what made him exactly tick. He was so focused that he nearly missed his shift.

He moved mechanically, going over the boards to get into the ice. He moved fast, grabbing the puck from Burish's slick passing and driving it towards Fleury, who was early in anticipation of getting scored on. Thor was coming closer and closer and was already calculating the shot when he was aware of a gold and black shape beside him. Laufeyssen was beside him, matching him stride to stride. Thor snarled and put a burst of effort to clear him and shoot.

Or rather shove it past Fleury.

Thor knew it wasn't a pretty shot, since he practically shovelled it in between Fleury's pads. He wouldn't remember it as a pretty goal, but he remembered it as the goal that got the UC exploding with cheers. He would also recall it as the goal that made Laufeyssen shove him in frustration right before it all went to hell.

It happened when he had skated away, relishing the cheers and shouts, but also remembering that it was all for Balder. He knew he looked like a superstitious nutter, but he didn’t want to forget that without Balder, nothing would have happened.

He had just looked up and sent a quiet signal to Balder as he always did after a goal when another shove nearly sent him sprawling.

"The fuck?" Thor shouted turning around to look at Laufeyssen, who was staring back at Thor with eyes as bright as flames and scorching with his anger.

"You, asshole." Laufeyssen replied, shoving him again.

Thor shook his head and pushed him out of the way, intending to skate away and back to the bench when Laufeyssen grabbed him.

And swung.

That was when Thor saw red and he returned the swing, knocking Laufeyssen on his ass. But it wasn’t enough to keep him down and he was at it again, getting into his face before Bur and Malone got in between them. Laufeyssen looked like he was ready to take another swing, but the linesman showed up and their respective teammates dragged them to their penalty boxes, where they both sat and sulked.

"The fuck was that about?" Buff asked the minute he was in the box. Thor shrugged.

"I dunno, man." Thor replied, his tone uncertain.

"Entitled shit." Buff muttered, his eyes narrowing as he watched Laufeyssen stand up and argue with the officials as they waited for the goal to be called. Even though the cameras had caught it, the light hadn't gone off, calling the goal into question.

   Thor clamped his mouth shut and waited for the officials to decide it was a goal. He knew it was and he could feel a slight burn of anger go through him as he watched Loki vociferously argue until he went back to his own bench. But he refused to open his mouth and say anything. He was pissed, but he understood where Laufeyssen was coming from. He knew that Fleury was a sore point with Laufeyssen and it was quite brutal how he behaved towards anyone that dared to do anything against his goalie. Thor himself felt that way about Sharpy and Peeks, so he wasn't going to beak off and risk adding fuel to an unnecessary fire.

He already knew that Quenneville was going to be furious at him for falling into the trap of being impulsive, so he simply stayed in the box and waited for both his penalty minutes and his goal to be validated.

He didn’t have to wait for a long time to get them both. Five for fighting and a two goal lead when the referee legitimized the goal. Thor only smiled at Buff, who tilted his head at Laufeyssen. Laufeyssen, whose face was black as thunder and frozen with wintry determination cold enough to even chill Thor.

“Luckily we don’t have that much time left, or else our lead would be long-gone.” Buff muttered, adjusting his grip on his stick before he left the box, leaving Thor to think the exact same thing.

Laufeyssen wouldn't forget, Thor was sure of it: His suspicions were cemented when he caught the ice green of Laufeyssen’s stare, making shudder.

~*~*~*~

Thor didn't know why he had stayed later than usual. Yes, the win was great and he had Already replied to Bragi's and Jarnaxa's texts, but he didn't feel like going out with Peeks and Sharpy either. It had been a great win, but it didn't sit well with him. Especially not when he recalled Laufeyssen's eyes. He hadn't ever given credence to any of the rumours that had sprung up about Jotun players and especially not about Laufeyssen himself. But after being a recipient of the icily venomous glare Laufeyssen had given him...He had to wonder if the old stories were true and why the teams preferred to have at least one Jotun player on the roster.

 

Thor shook the thoughts out of his head and gathered his stuff to get going home. He had already made a note for himself on his iPhone about seeing Bragi and Jarnaxa tomorrow. He needed to be grounded again. Heaving a deep sigh, he had just put his stuff in his bag and was on his way out when he heard footsteps coming from the away locker room. Frowning, he changed directions and headed that way to investigate. They were lucky they didn't have too many unauthorized visitors sneaking in like they did in Pittsburgh, but it did happen. Enough that he had learned to be wary whenever he had stayed late to practice by himself.

 

Keeping this in mind, he carefully went around a corner and ended up nearly flattened by a tall, yet wiry body that belonged to only one man.

 

"Let go of me, Odinssen!" Laufeyssen snarled, his eyes flashing furiously as he pushed Thor away.

 

"With pleasure. Besides, what the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on your way back to Pittsburgh already?"

 

Laufeyssen rolled his eyes when he finally disentangled himself from Thor's grasp.

 

"Believe me when I tell you that I wish I was already gone. But even you would think twice about having to face those vultures if your team had been in the same situation as mine."

 

 Thor winced, knowing it was all too damned true of what Laufeyssen spoke of. It had been, in a way, part of the reason why he had been hiding in his own locker room. He knew he had fucked up in his reaction to Laufeyssen's shoves. He had more or less played into the hands of Bettman and the press that were hell bent on making it a competition between the both of them. He hadn't wanted to go out and celebrate because he knew how much of a farce the whole thing was. He wanted to win and be the best to honour Balder. But he wouldn't do it at the expense or the humiliation of someone that he was fairly neutral about, yet had somehow ended up being scripted into being his nemesis.

 

"Yeah. I get that. Aren't you going to miss curfew?"

 

Laufeyssen looked at him and shook his head and Thor winced, wishing that he had said anything but that. But then, he hadn't ever been that fast on his feet and especially not when he was surprised as all out.

 

"We don't fly out till late. Besides, do you actually think that players like us don't get some kind of leeway at times? You must be painfully naive or not wise enough to take advantage of the fact."

 

Thor felt himself flushing at the remark. He was sure he could have taken advantage of bending the rules, but deep down, he simply didn't have the stomach to actually face his captain if he had. Peeks and Sharpy and Bur may have the wherewithal to shrug off those killer glares, but he certainly couldn't.

 

"Not possible when you have Tazer as a captain."  He found himself muttering and in turn, making His supposed rival let out a sharp bark of laughter in return.

 

"Huh. So the rumours are true. Toews has crazy eyes. Colby's going to owe me fifty bucks. Thanks for that, Odinssen. I guess this night wasn't a full on waste after all."

 

Laufeyssen noted laconically, making Thor shake his head in both disbelief and disbelief at how much he was actually enjoying this unlocked for exchange with a player he was being pitted against for everything and then some. He wouldn't be surprised if they had them both in the running for hottest bachelors as well, considering how ridiculous the internet and pundits tended to get.

 

"And Super Mario doesn't?"

 

"Yeah, you got me there. At least I know he won't murder me in his sleep. Do you have that insurance?"

 

"As long as I keep scoring, yeah."

 

Laufeyssen grinned mirthlessly at that and Thor mentally kicked himself.

 

"You want to continue this somewhere with coffee and food?"

 

  He knew it was unprecedented and maybe too direct and graceless, but he was actually enjoying finally talking to Laufeyssen without the glare of cameras in front of them or reporters asking them ridiculous questions and hoping that this would be the time that they both would fuck it up and cause a damned good scandal to sell the season even more than it already had been. He also was surprised by the mordant humour he had found there despite appearances and he hoped to get more of it. He just hoped that it would be today, rather than some other time or worse, never.

 

Laufeyssen stared at him as all those thoughts went through Thor's head. He was taking such a long time to reply that Thor was just opening his mouth to apologize and wish him a good night when the other player finally spoke.

 

"Isn't there something about not fraternizing with the enemy though?"

 

"We're not on the ice. Off the ice is a different matter altogether, Laufeyssen."

 

"It's Loki."

 

Thor blinked and Lau-Loki smirked before continuing.

 

"If we are actually going to go through with this, I've got a first name that I'd rather be called by instead if my last name. It's Loki."

 

Thor nodded.

 

"Alright, Loki. I know a place. Shall we?"

 

Loki smiled and waved his hand theatrically at the empty hallway.

 

"Lead the way."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the month long delay in getting this chapter out. I was in Europe on holidays and I had a bit of a block as to where to transition this chapter. Since the Olympics are happening, we could have that going on here. But yes. I'm not abandoning this story. I just had so much before and after that it was hard to get out. 
> 
> So apologies and hope this peace offering is enough.


	5. You Feel It In Your Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The season is moving along, despite the looming possibilities that the Vancouver Olympics are bringing with them. Thor and Loki, in their own ways, hope that they can make the roster. But as rookies, it's a slim chance. But then, Canada's willing to gamble and that may seal their fates after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to see Loki and Sigyn as well as Thor and Jarnsaxa as well as their thought processes in regards to them being chosen to be on the Olympic team being a possibility. 
> 
> I know that the Sochi Olympics just happened, but the Vancouver Olympics make a bit more sense for them to be at regarding their timeline. Also, it was critical for Canada, since we hadn't won an Olympic medal on home soil in what? Almost 50 years for the men? So that is why it got chosen. 
> 
> Chapter title is still from Icarus by Bastille. Proofed, but if there are mistakes, apologies.

Thor stepped out of the shower and was towelling off his hair when Jarnsaxa, wrapped in his too large robe and eating yogurt while watching one of the Scify shows she had gotten hooked on and handed him his phone.

“It’s beeped a few times. Might be important.” She commented as she went back to her yogurt and the show. Thor accepted the phone and threw the towel into the hamper before unlocking it and checking his messages. He reached out to ruffle her hair, making her squeal and bat his hand away as he scrolled through what felt like a mountain of texts.

Not what he was expecting, but then Saxa had a habit of understatement. He shouldn’t have been surprised. But there it was.

A couple of the messages were from his agent, who assured him that he would keep an eye out for his name as the Team Canada roster got finalized. Thor wasn’t sure if he really cared about being named onto the team. Sure, it would be an honour, but he wasn’t naïve or arrogant enough to assume he would be granted a spot simply because he was having a good rookie year.

He pushed the idea aside, not wanting to dwell on it, since he was sure that even if he was considered, he was going to be battling for a spot against Loki. He was sure that Yzerman wasn’t going to be putting both of them there. This was the best opportunity for the Canadian team to redeem itself after the disaster that was Torino. And on home soil as well. Thor was sure that everything was calculated down to the last substitute in order to maximize the chances of winning.

He knew the stakes and he knew that despite how much the media wanted to paint them as rivals, he and Loki had a completely different skill set and that would be what made the choice in the end. He sighed and typed back a quick reply that he would be sure to do it, even though he doubted it was going to happen. His agent agreed that it was a possible long shot, but it still could happen.

After that exchange, he goes back to checking his messages and snorts in amusement when he sees one is from Loki.

_“I’m going to assume that you’re also getting the Olympic questions? I already got a couple last night.”_

Thor sighed. So that was what he had to look forward to after the game tonight. He had made it a point to not really watch any interviews unless he was forced to by his agent. Or if Bragi thought it was important. Jarnsaxa was amused at his indifference, but never pressed the issue, since she had told him that it wasn’t her business.

“It would be the equivalent of you coming in and telling me what to do in my residency.” She had told him and Bragi once when they had been unwitting witnesses to a scene with a fellow team-mate back in Thor’s minor career days.

“She’s a good one. You should keep her.” Bragi had stated, sotto voice and made both of them turn around and smack him one for being an idiot.

Although it had been meant as a joke, Thor was seriously considering asking her to marry him. Jarnsaxa had a level head on her shoulders and wasn’t star struck over the fact that she was dating one of the up and comers of the NHL. She had her own life and nursing career and wasn’t choosing to define herself through him. That was a relief for Thor, since he knew all too well what kind of women being an athlete attracted.

He also liked that she was always that independent and that he didn’t have to worry about her crumbling if anything were to happen. She was strong enough and that was one of the things he valued from her, other than her intelligence, patience and beauty. He knew he wanted her to stay. He just had to find the right time to ask her.

He hoped that maybe during the Olympic break, he would be able to find the perfect ring for her and take her somewhere nice to propose to her. He knew he was young, but he just...He couldn’t picture feeling for anyone else like he did for her. He wanted her to stay and build a family with him. A real family. not the fractured grief-stricken collection of people that his own had become.

But that was not the issue at the moment. Loki’s text had pushed the idea of making the Olympic team to the forefront of his mind. Something he didn’t really care to have to think about at the moment.

_“Just my agent. But I’m sure it’s going to happen. Honestly? I think you’re a sure bet if we really are in the running.”_

Thor kept on scrolling and noted the messages from Bragi, who wanted to meet up with him soon in regards to his upcoming wedding. He was the best man and despite Idunn wanting a winter wedding, she had graciously moved it up to the summer to make sure he’d be able to make it. She understood that Thor and Bragi were closer than most brothers due to Balder’s death and their parent’s grief and preoccupation with their little brother. She loved Bragi and was willing to compromise. Just like he had in regards to being married in a Catholic Church as per her mother’s insistence despite Bragi and Thor’s upbringing in the Lutheran faith.

He had just texted Bragi with his new schedule and told him to pick a time when his phone chirruped.

_“You really are too good to be true, you know that? Doesn’t it get tiring being so damned humble and good? I should get you beatified or something.”_

Thor laughed at that, making Jarnsaxa look at him funny before she got up and went to the kitchen. She came back with two containers of yogurt and handed one to Thor along with a clean spoon before sitting down on the couch.

_“Not Catholic, but thanks for the compliment. I mean it. We good for next week?”_

He had just opened the container when the reply came back.

_“As if there was any doubt. Kick ass. We need the Caps down too.”_

Thor grinned, knowing that was the closest that Loki would ever get to wishing him good luck and a good game. He didn’t mind, despite other people finding Loki cold and almost robotic. Thor had a suspicion that he was among the select few that got to see a completely different side to Loki and he understood the need for duality and took it all in stride, since he knew that if Loki didn’t give a fuck about him at all, they wouldn’t be exchanging texts, never mind meeting after games whenever they could manage it.

_“Thanks. Take it easy then.”_

He put his phone away and sat down beside his girlfriend, who curled up against his side, slotting perfectly beside him as they got engrossed in the show.

Life was damned good.

~*~*~*~*

Loki let his phone fall asleep after he had received Thor’s text and put it on the side table. Sigyn was fast asleep beside him. She was taking advantage of both of them having a rare day off and he couldn’t blame her. He should have been asleep as well, but with his agent giving him the heads up over the more substantial rumours of his probable Olympic nod, he had been up diffusing his family’s queries and also trying to get a hold of Thor to see if he was aware of yet another attempt at them being pitted against each other.

He tucked his arm under his head and stared at the ceiling and mulling the situation over. He knew that the rumours were swirling around because of the Olympics being in Vancouver and that Steve Yzerman was gunning for that gold at any cost. He and Thor were the best of the pack and despite their youth, it was widely speculated that they could possibly ramp up the scoring and speed of the team. He and Thor were tied for the highest scorer and there was no doubt that they could bring that to the table.

He would like Thor on his line. He was sure that they would be unbeatable, but he also knew that if two rookies were picked over established names, the country would have an epic meltdown. Despite his teasing, he knew that Thor was right in thinking one of them would be going. Thor, despite racking up numbers, was seen as less technical and more of an instinctual player that could possibly fizzle out. Loki had the numbers and was seen as more technical and more dependable.

He smirked, despite knowing no one could see him. Ironic how the player that they thought was all style with little depth was the one that had understood the dynamics in less than half an hour. Thor was observant and as much as it galled his pride, he could acknowledge that Thor did have something between his ears to come to that conclusion. He could judge what would work and who needed to be in position in order to make it all happen. Stubborn and determined, he was the rawness of the game.

“If you guys were one person, you’d have the best player ever, to be quite honest.” Bilestyr had told him once when he had been venting on Skype about being set as the foil to Thor.

“And Bettman’s not an idiot. You both are the meal ticket for a tired league. Tickets will sell if there is a rivalry between two fresh new players. Especially is one fits Cherry’s criteria and the other is from Jotunheim.”

Loki grit his teeth at that, knowing full well that his brother was right. Despite the fact that Jotunheim had been part of Canada for almost a hundred years, their history was still held against them. Although things had gotten better, there was still suspicion towards anyone from Jotunheim. Especially when that someone was beating out practically all the other high caliber players at the nation’s highly cherished sport.

“It’s all part of the game, I know. It doesn’t mean I can’t hate the player and the game.”

Bylestyr laughed ruefully.

“True, just don’t fall into the habit, little brother. You’ve got enough on your plate as it is.”

Loki had laughed and the conversation had ended. The texts and calls from his agent had brought it up again and he rather not dwell on those old scars being rubbed raw again.

He rubbed his eyes and turned his head to look at his girlfriend, who was still sleeping. He really wanted to get up and start the day. Maybe get out and go to park or something. He wasn’t really a homebody, but Sigyn was and she loved sleeping late curled up next to him, so he humoured her. She was sweet and gentle and patient, something he wanted and needed badly in his life of constant movement.In his life of inconsistencies and harshness. She was his homebase. He would do almost anything for her.

With a sigh, he forced his mind to go blank. Just a few more minutes. Then he’d wake her up and take her to that cupcake shop she had been dying to see.

He closed his eyes and pulled her closer, falling back asleep in minutes.

~*~*~*~*~

“You nervous?” Kaner asked Thor as he taped up his stick.

“Were you?” Thor asked, forcing himself to go slow lest he screw up and have to start all over again. Once he was finished, he looked up to meet Patrick’s gaze.

Kaner shrugged, but his eyes went dark and serious in a way that Thor hadn’t really ever seen in him barring the draft. It wasn’t that Kaner wasn’t capable of being serious. But it was strange to see it. He wasn’t one to get caught up in darkness. He was just...Kaner. Nothing really could keep him down or if it did, but not for long.

“A bit. But there’s always next time right? Rookies aren’t really up in the running. Besides, I’ve not got that much competition. Bobby Ryan, maybe. But there’s always room on the roster. Canada’s stacked, as much as I hate to admit it. All the spots are claimed, more or less.”

Thor nodded. “Yeah. That’s why I’m not trying to really think about it. Don’t get me wrong, playing would be...Just epic. But it’s a long shot. I know that. So no. I’m not nervous. Whatever happens, will happen. That’s all.”

He was uncomfortably aware of how quiet the dressing room was after he had spoken.

“Jeez, Thorsy. And all this time I thought you were as shallow as Lil Peeks there. Who knew you had such hidden depths?”

“Ah, bite me, Bur. We could say the same about you and Sharpie.” Thor shot back.

“Hey! I have depth! Loads of it!” Sharpy protested and was quickly shut down by Bur throwing a sweaty towel into his face.

Sharpy was about to retaliate when his phone rang. He picked it up with clumsy hands and left to answer it, leaving the rest of them stripping their gear and getting ready to leave for the day. Game night was in a few hours and they all needed to get ready for the night.

Their week wasn’t that great nor had it been that bad either. They hadn’t managed to beat the Caps and had lost in overtime, disappointing, but at least they picked up the point. They had earned a brutal win from the Blues and lost to Calgary and were now in Colorado, hoping for another win to keep up the President’s Trophy race.

The banter flowed after that and the dressing room started to clear out, the conversation forgotten as plans for naps and wishes for the game were exchanged as they all headed their separate ways. They had nearly forgotten about Sharpy when Tazer’s phone also went off. As well as Dunc’s and Thor’s.

He swallowed hard and met Kaner’s eyes again.

“Hope it’s good luck.” Kaner mumbled as Thor left to answer the phone.

Thor smiled before swiping his thumb across the screen and answering the call.

“Hello?”

“Thor Odinssen? It’s Steven Yzerman. How are you doing?”

“Fine. Just had practice. And you, sir?”

He could have kicked himself for letting that one slip out, but he had manners drilled into him ever since he could speak. His mother had been no slouch in the decorum department that was certain.

“Also fine. I’ll cut to the chase. I’m calling because you’ve been selected for the Olympic team. I want gold and I want it in Vancouver and I’m positive you and the others in the team will manage it. Congratulations. You’re in.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Thank you, Mr. Yzerman.” Loki replied as he ended the call and put his phone in his pocket. He took a deep breath and blew it out before he headed back into the Pens dressing room.

“Well?” Flower asked, his knee jiggling nervously as he too clutched his phone tight. Seeing that made Loki realize belatedly that Flower had also been waiting for the call.

“No. You first. Are you in?” Loki asked, sitting down next to his best friend on the team.

Flower waited for only a moment before flashing a relieved grin.

“Yes. Third back up, but still counts. Can’t expect much when I’ve got Brodeur and Luongo ahead. You?”

“I’m in.”

Flower’s grin got even wider and more manic as he realized they were going to be playing for Canada. in Vancouver. He opened his mouth to speak when Loki’s phone chirped.

“Hang on.”

He fished it out of his pocket and opened the text from Thor, puzzled as to how he would have already known who else was on the roster. His puzzlement turned into a mixture of grim satisfaction and surprise as he read the simple message:

_“Guess I’m going to be your winger in Vancouver.”_

So Thor had been wrong after all. Canada was desperate and willing to take a chance.

And he was determined that he and Thor would make the best of that chance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is very little on Jarnsaxa and Sigyn other than broad sketches, so their personalities are based on what Loki and Thor would seek out in a significant other based on their upbringing. They will get more screen time rather than mentions because Thor and Loki love them. They are important, even if it doesn't work out in the end. 
> 
> Religion note- Thor's of Norwegian descent here and thus would have Lutheran as his religion. I know that the Nordics aren't as religious as other places, but Norway is more so than the others. So he is Lutheran. 
> 
> Jotunheim is analogous and close to Quebec, which was heavily Roman Catholic. Loki is a nominal Catholic and would make those kind of jokes regarding saints and what not. Being one myself, I tend to have that kind of humour.


	6. Your Hands Protect The Flames, From The Wild Winds Around You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the race for Gold at Vancouver Begins.

“Who did you get as a room-mate?”

Loki’s head snapped up at Flower’s question. He had been zoning out on the ride to their hotel, taking in the sights of Vancouver. He hadn’t ever set foot outside of Jotunheim when he had been a kid and they had very few chances for sightseeing during this junior hockey career. He had heard of Vancouver and had toyed with the possibility of possibly playing out west, but had never really gone out of his way to do so. Still, it was a pretty city and he would do his best whenever he had down-time to explore all the places he had looked at in his textbooks as a kid.

He blinked as he gave his team-mate a blank look before finally catching on what the question was and snapping out of his reverie. Cursing quietly, he dug into his pocket for the crumpled list he had been given and unfolded it while doing his best to ignore Flower’s snickering.

“I’m guessing you’re going to be with your own species?” Loki asked, as he fumbled with the paper and praying that he wasn’t stuck with either any of the old timers like Niedermayer or Iginla. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, but rather that he wouldn’t have any idea of how to talk to them, never mind actually become team-mates with them. There weren’t that many younger players left, Richards or Carter perhaps, but they were Flyers, so their natural animosity probably wouldn’t make it any easier either.

Plus, he was sure that they had _something_ going on there and he sure didn't want to deal with pissed off guys whose bromance was cut short by an accidental interloper. He was there to win a gold medal. He wasn't there to cause or be part of a drama.

The last acceptable choices would be any of the Hawks that made it, but Loki doubted that they would be split up. But then with Yzerman and Babcock at the helm, anything could and would happen. So he was sort of hoping that would be the case.

(He tried to squash down the childish longing of being accepted by the cool kids when he thought about the Hawks players, but the reminder of it still burned brightly in his gut despite it coming and going in what felt like seconds)

“Odinssen.” Loki replied once he got the paper unfolded and looked at the simple lines of script that followed the email headers.

_“Laufeyssen-Odinssen. Rm. 302.”_

Flower's mouth opened and snapped closed so fast that Loki winced at the loud clack of teeth meeting abruptly.

“Shit. Are you serious? You're rooming with Odinssen for sure? That's just weird. I mean, you're a center. He's a winger and he's a Hawk. Why would Yzerman and Babcok stick you two together?”

Loki shrugged as he nonchalantly re-folded the paper and stuck it in his pocket as if nothing was out of the ordinary. He was rooming with Thor. Well, that was not what he had expected at all, since they were both rookies and all that. But he couldn’t deny that he was secretly pleased about it happening. Out of anyone, he could at least trust Thor to not step into his personal space uninvited. To not pry when it wasn’t necessary.

To not look at his tattoos in distaste and make remarks about him being from Jotunheim. Despite his position in the team and his points, he could see it in some of his team-mate’s glances. The revulsion and disdain that always flashed in their eyes before they got a hold of themselves when they saw the black lines and raised scarring all over his shoulders and chest. But Thor hadn’t even hinted that he was aware of them. Nor had he batted an eye whenever he would get a phone call from home and easily slip into the language of his youth.

Thor was probably the safest choice when all those factors were added up.

But that wasn’t what Flower was looking for, so he decided to go for the boring and diplomatic answer instead.

“Not really, especially if they're planning to stick us in the same line. Makes sense that we'd be sharing a room. You're with Luongo, right?”

Flower nodded and Loki smirked.

“There you go. It's not weird and he's an all right guy once you get him away from Kane.” Loki added, making Flower shake his head.

“It's odd. You'd think he would have been roomed with the other Hawks or something...”

“Odd numbers for them and Bergy's already spoken for.” Loki frowned. “I think.”

Flower opened his mouth to say something else when they were interrupted by Jonathan Toews sitting down next to Flower.

“Who are you rooming with?” He asked, his voice flat as he spoke, unnerving Loki even more than he would admit to. Toews had perfected the dead eyed stare to the point that it was his most effective weapon in psyching out opponents during face-offs and seeing it aimed at him in a non-game context was even scarier than Loki could have ever imagined.

“Odinssen. Why do you ask?”

Toew's face twitched at that before he gave Loki a narrow-eyed glare.

“I've got Staal. You in for switching?”

Staal wasn't bad and he actually found himself weighing the option, but shook his head.

“I'm good, but thanks for the offer.” Loki replied, his tone friendly enough, but not warm enough to hide the steely undercurrent in the words.

“He's not your kind of guy, Laufeyssen. I think Staal would be more up to your speed.”

Loki shook his head. “Thanks again, but I'm fine with who I got as my room-mate. I'm sure that Thor and I are adult enough to work out our own problems if it comes to it.”

Toews stared at him a few more moments before he nodded, as if confirming something to himself before he stood up.

“I'll hold you to that. Have a good day.”

“The same to you.”

He and Flower didn't say anything until Toews had returned to his seat.

“What the hell was that about?”

“Fucked if I know what the hell his problem is. Not that I care either way.”

He forced himself to remain impassive at the situation, he couldn't help but to relieved that he had been paired up with Thor. Despite their unorthodox friendship, he knew where he stood with Thor. He also knew that they had the same drive to get to the goal that all of them were hoping to achieve. The worry that had gnawed at him the minute that Flower had asked for his room-mate's name was gone. Things were going to be fine.

“Yeah, well, make sure you and Thor are good. I wouldn't want to be on bad end of that guy. He's a little too fucking intense.”

Loki grinned, despite not feeling amused at all.

“Yeah, well, I'll just make sure it's not going to happen, that's all.”

Flower only shook his head and changed the subject, which Loki was glad of. It looked like his friendship with Thor was still under the radar and he was relieved of it. He'd rather have everyone think they were rivals and not poke any deeper into it. Especially when it wasn't any of their business to do so.

~*~*~*~*

“You know you're rooming with the ice princess, yeah?” Sharpy asked Thor when they climbed into one of the buses reserved for the team and their gear.

“Uh. No? I didn't?” Thor asked, his brow furrowing as he remembered at the last minute that he had forgotten to check his email before they had boarded the plane.

“Yeah, you are. Tazer tried to switch rooms, but he wouldn’t budge.” Sharpie mock frowned at that and slapped Thor hard enough on the shoulder to make him wince. Something that he didn’t hide too well and made Sharpy grin slightly.

“I could-“

“No, it’s all good. I don’t mind rooming with him.” Thor cut him off abruptly, making Sharpy’s eyes narrow at the sharpness of his reply. Thor seldom if ever was curt to his friend and that was usually enough to send warning bells off in his team-mate’s head. Thor cursed himself for not thinking his response through, but the idea of being treated like a irresponsible child that didn’t know any better. He appreciated that his teammates and friend’s were looking out for him, but this was just a bit too much.

Having Bragi and Nanna looking out for him was much more different than having all of the senior Hawks coddling him. He wasn’t used to the attention and he could admit that he was also uncomfortable with anyone guessing that he and Loki were only rivals on the ice and were in some murky area that was friendship and yet not. They texted each other and occasionally emailed each other as well as met up for dinner whenever they could. There was some tentative conversation, but they hadn’t shared any dark deep secrets or had man-chats over tea or anything like that.

He still didn’t know how Loki had gotten that scar at the back of his head. Or what the tattoos Thor had seen peeking out of his shirt collar meant. Nor did he tell Loki that he could understand some Jotun. Loki didn’t know exactly how many siblings Thor had. Nor did he question why Thor had to call and cancel their last dinner meeting. Nor did he know why Thor had been a scratch at the previous game.

They didn’t share those things. Just yet.

But Thor got a sense that it was coming. Tentatively and slowly, but he could feel that there was a change. The last time they had met, there had been a shift. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint the change or why it had happened, but only that it had. He had also been surprised to find himself not minding it at all. It was as if the focus of his life had shifted a bit and he had a better view of his life.

“Well, okay.” Sharpy finally conceded. “But if you change your mind about it, we still have some time to switch. I mean, it’s going to be bad enough dealing with all the pressure of getting a gold medal on Canadian soil. But you and Laufeyssen rooming together? That’s going to just make everything explode and then some.”

Thor smiled, but shook his head.

“No. I’m sure. Thanks for the offer, though. Besides, it’s not like it’s going to go away. No matter who he and I room with, the media is going to go nuts. Let them have this meltdown so they leave us alone so we can concentrate on the important stuff.”

Sharpy grinned. “Yeah, for sure and all this time I didn’t suspect such depths and maturity to you.”

“Fuck off.”

~*~*~*~*

Loki had just gotten his keycard out of his pocket when Thor showed up, a sheepish grin on his face as he gestured to the door.

“So we’re roommates now. Wonder if we’re going to be line mates as well.” Thor noted as Loki smirked and swiped his keycard to open the door.

“I’m guessing it’s the next step. You got a bed preference?” Loki asked. He preferred the bed closer to the door, but if Thor had his eye on it, he figured he could make the compromise.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not picky.” Thor replied while Loki nodded and walked over to the bed and parked his suitcase at the foot of the bed. Thor walked to the bed closer to the bathroom and set his bag down, pulling his toiletry kit out and moving into the bathroom right away to find a place for it while Loki hung up his suit and moved his clothes to what was his side of the wardrobe.

He was so concentrated on the task that the didn’t notice Thor doing the same thing until he saw a dark suit like his being hung on the rack.

“Oh. Sorry. I just figured it was a good idea to do that. Didn’t think I would startle you.”

Loki smiled weakly and tried to hide how much Thor had startled him with his stealth and silence. He hadn’t ever gotten snuck up on since he had been a child back in Jotunheim and it was unnerving to say the least. He had honed his instincts to the point that he was aware of who and what was around him at all times.

On the ice, he was the master of this. He thought he was too off the ice. But Thor had proven him wrong. And that Thor, out of all people had done that, made him wonder if his close proximity was dulling his instincts.

 _Or maybe_ , his treacherous mind supplied, _He has somehow managed to earn your trust after all._

He shook the thought off and shook his head.

“Yeah. No worries. Just didn’t think you could be so quiet.” Loki replied. Thor laughed.

“Yeah, well, I can be. Even if I don’t look it. People forget that quite often, to be honest.”

Thor admitted ruefully, shrugging his shoulders as he moved back to his suitcase to grab more clothes that were like Loki’s, but with the red, white and black colours of the Hawks.

Loki watched him go and had to agree that it would be easy to forget that, since Thor was a big man with a big presence that you couldn’t help but to always notice. Even the way that his clothes-

Loki abruptly cut off that thought and focused on his unpacking, pausing only when his phone chirped at him.

_“Team dinner. Be down at the lobby in five. No you can’t back out.”_

He snorted as he typed out a quick reply and turned to look at Thor, who was grinning at his phone and doing the same thing.

“Dinner text?” He blurted out, feeling like he needed to flee out of the room that had somehow become too small for the both of them to be in.

Thor looked up and smiled, making Loki ask himself when the hell did Thor learn how to put all his charm into just a simple smile and why he hadn’t noticed it before.

“Yeah. You ready?”

Loki nodded, his throat drying up at the nagging realization that he may walk away from Vancouver with the gold, but he would also walk away with something else altogether.

A something else involving Thor Odinssen.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies again for the time between chapters. I've got less time to work on these due to work and RL creeping in. I did state that I am playing fast and loose with the analogues and timelines and even rosters. So hence the reason why Sharpy is on the team despite not being there in 2010. 
> 
> Jotunheim and Loki's heritage-Tats and ritual scarification are a cultural symbol in my headcannon and there is stigma attached to them on Jotuns. Although it is not a big deal in the present, they still carry connotations of past wrongs and assumptions of "barbarism" and "savagery" of Jotunheim. The language of Jotunheim would be akin to old Norse and Thor himself speaks Norwegian.
> 
> It has been proofed and edited and if there are mistakes, they will be fixed. The titles of the chapters are lines from Bastille's "Icarus".
> 
> Thank you all who have been reading and reviewing. Thanks for your patience.


	7. Look Who's Digging His Own Grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yzerman and Babcock take a gamble on the rookies, while Loki and Thor start to deal with the repercussions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there will be time jumps and skips all around here, because it is during the Olympics that Loki and Thor get things heating up. I admit that as a younger sibling, I do call my older brothers for their opinions on things. 
> 
> I also admit that there is a whole lot of talking and touristy things going on, but I figure that this would be a thing during the Olympics. 
> 
> As always, it has been proofed and if any errors exits, they will be fixed.
> 
> "Dyr"-Norwegian version of "Dear". Expression of tenderness, according to my research. I also did have Bragi say "Hej" which I know is used in Denmark and I know that both of them share similarities, so I used it as an all purpouse greeting.

Babcock shuffled his notes around the desk and waited for Yzerman to give him some feedback about the lines that they had tried in the first games. The lines hadn’t been a complete disaster, but there had been a couple of mistakes and they needed to fix them if they wanted to win that gold.

The fact that they had let in three goals to the US made them both anxious. Sure, they had won, but it didn’t bode well for the next round. Especially if they played against Russia and the US. The lines needed to be shaken up.

“Brodeur is out, I’m guessing?” Babcock asked as he tapped his pen against the name he had underlined in red. There were a few more there, but the goaltending was the bigger question at the moment and one they needed to fix rapidly if they were going to go anywhere.

“Yeah. Loungo’s proven himself. Brodeur will understand. He’s been there before.” Yzerman crossed his arms and blew out a breath. “Albeit on the other side of the equation.”

Babcock snorted, but nodded his head in agreement as he inked a red line through Brodeur’s name and made a note beside Luongo’s. He didn’t glance at the third name. He was positive that they weren’t going to have to go there just yet.

They were silent for a few moments before Yzerman spoke.

“I was thinking that the kids need to be together on the same line.”

It was spoken so calmly and casually that it would have seemed like something that had just happened to occur to him. Babcock sat back and looked at Odinssen and Laufeyssen’s names. He had put Laufeyssen with Iginla and Neidermayer, since they weren’t grinders and got stuff done with their speed. He had been active and had been a playmaker, but hadn’t scored as of yet. He was too tentative and privately, he had to wonder if putting him with two experienced players was more intimidating than helpful.

Odinssen, despite making an impossible goal, had mostly been an enforcer, allowing Toews and Doughty to score at his expense. Although Toews was a familiar face for him, it wasn’t meshing as well as they had hoped. So maybe if they shook up the lines, it could work. It wasn’t as if they couldn’t use the individual talents and Babcock suspected that Laufeyssen needed a Right Wing like Odinssen, who was sizeable, but could move faster than even Thornton.

“Let’s do it. One shift to try it. We can afford it against the Germans, at least.”

Yzerman nodded.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Are you fucking kidding me? About time.” Drew muttered, nudging Thor after Babcock and Yzerman had announced the line-up changes. He turned and looked at Thor.

“I’m surprised he didn’t do it before, to be honest.” He smiled apologetically and moved. Thor was still sitting there, completely shell-shocked at the news and didn’t move until someone tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

“So, I guess were line-mates as well now.” Loki commented nonchalantly as he sat down in the empty seat Drew left behind. Thor swallowed and nodded, smiling slightly as he was still shocked at the sudden change. He looked around and saw Luongo and Brodeur whispering rapidly in French to each other in the corner while Marc-Andre Fleury looked awkward and like he wanted to be anywhere else but near them. He couldn't blame Fleury. Especially not with the carefully blank look on Brodeur's face that told Thor everything.

“You think you're going to be able to keep up?” Loki's whispered query in Jotunn made him snap out of his thoughts and shake off the rest of the shock.

“Can you?” He replied in Norsk, making Loki snort in muffled laughter that made a few of their team-mates look at them oddly. But no one said anything since Babcock had come in with Yzerman, signaling the beginning of the meeting and then practice.

~*~*~*~*~

“What the hell was that?” Tazer asked Thor the minute that they had gotten out of practice and put their gear away. They had made plans in their free afternoon to go and see the sights that they hadn't been able to catch during the normal season. The others were busy with their families and Thor had come to the room to find a note from Loki telling him he would be out with Fleury. So it was just Thor and Tazer doing the tourist thing.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Thor asked as he snapped a picture of the mountains while Tazer gave a scowl at the scenery and did the same thing.

“You and Laufeyssen. I haven't seen you click with anyone so fast other than Peeks. Jesus, your chemistry on the line is insane.” Tazer replied, putting his camera in his pocket and trudging away towards the direction he had been told Stanley Park was in.

“I just hope Shero doesn't see it, or we're fucked.” Tazer muttered angrily.

“Wait, what? Are you crazy? I'm not leaving Chicago.” Thor sputtered, trying to evade the fact that Tazer was right about him and Loki.

They had an insane compatibility that had Thor making no-look passes and Loki netting them. They were evenly matched for speed and fed each other goals that shouldn't have been possible, but were. The others had been surprised, but Thor hadn't noticed. He was too excited at having someone that was as equal as he and Kaner to play. All he cared about was the fact that the gold medal was now within their grasp. They could do it now. He had found his mate. Nothing else mattered.

Tazer only gave him a withering look at that.

“It may not be your choice, don't be a kid. But seriously. What the hell? You guys are just fucking intense. We're winning for sure...But Jesus.” Tazer opened his mouth, but then closed it, shaking his head.

“Never mind. Let's just go see stuff.”

“Yeah.” Thor added weakly, relieved that Tazer had changed his mind at the last minute and remained quiet.

He was quite aware of it when he played with Loki. It was as if he had found what was missing when he had been on a different line. It had worked well, but hadn't felt perfect like it had with Loki. He was sure that Loki had felt it, the undercurrents that had appeared when they had played together for the first time and just _owned_ the ice.

There had been something in his eyes when they had given each other a high five after they had scored their last goal. He wondered what it was that Loki had seen, since he had left after giving him a thin-lipped grin and moved away pretty damned fast.

He had shrugged it off then but he had to wonder. Especially now that he had Tazer making remarks about it.

He needed to talk to Bragi about it and figure it out before he screwed up big time.

~*~*~*~*~

“Hej Hej, Dyr!”

“It’s not Idunn, Bragi.”

“Thor? Something wrong?”

Thor sighed heavily before casting a nervous glance at the balcony door behind him. He had made sure that he was as alone as he could be with a room-mate, but he couldn’t help but to be cautious. Even though he knew that Loki was in the shower and wouldn’t be coming out for a good while.

“Thor? Come on. What the hell is wrong?” Bragi asked, his voice edged with a hint of panic he only reserved whenever Thor got himself injured badly enough to need help getting back to the bench.

“Nothing…Well…Sort of.”

“Thor…You know you can tell me anything, yeah? Whatever it is, I’m here to listen, yeah?”

Thor nodded and took a deep breath before speaking.

“So you know whom I’m rooming and now playing the same line with, yeah?”

Bragi laughed softly at that the sound sort of muffled as Thor heard his brother shif around and the rustle of sheets came through the line.

“Who doesn’t know is the question. I swear that people lost their minds when that leaked out. So it’s not working out then?”

Thor swallowed hard. “No. It's...It's brilliant. In fact...It's fucking _amazing._ ”

Thor wished he had another word to describe the intense chemistry that had sprung up between him and Loki. He only had that feeling once before, when he had just met Jarnsaxa. No one else had come close. Until now.

Bragi didn't say anything for a few minutes and Thor was about to ask if the call dropped when Bragi finally spoke.

“Amazing in the playing sense, or in the other sense?” Bragi asked his brother, his words slow and careful as he spoke.

“I don't know. I mean...we've been sort of friends for awhile. But just that. I've not...I've not experienced this since Saxa.”

“Huh. Do you think it's just...the games? The proximity of you two?”

“Could be both. Or it could be just because we finally are playing on a line that works for both of us, you know? Maybe that's bleeding into everything else?”

“I'm going to have to say that's probably it. I wouldn't worry about it much. Just don't over think this, allright? It's only ten days. Things will go back to normal fast.”

“Yeah. I-”

“Hey, Thor? Shower's yours.” Loki's voice floated out into the balcony, making Thor swear softly.

“Thanks! I'll be in a sec!”

He heard Bragi laugh quietly before he returned back to the call.

“Go take a shower. I'll talk to you after you guys win against the Germans.”

“You want to jinx us or something?”

“It's the Germans. You'll be fine.”

“I hope so. Talk to you later, then and thanks.”

“No problem, Dyr. No problem.”

The call disconnected and he went inside, careful to shut the door behind him.

Loki was sitting on his bed and toweling off his hair when he came in, frowning down at his phone and giving Thor enough time to compose his features into a semblance of normalcy. Although the conversation with Bragi had helped, he didn't want to make it obvious that there was something on his mind and ruin the easy camaraderie that had sprung up between them. Not just because it meant a better chance for the gold, but because he genuinely liked Loki.

“Hey, if you're going to take a shower, you'd better do it now. We got dinner in half an hour.” Loki told him, holding up his phone to show the text to Thor.

“Yeah. I'll do that. Won't be long.” Thor replied, going in without preamble and shutting the door behind him, leaving Loki to breathe a sigh of relief at being alone.

He went back to the text message he had been looking at before quickly switching it back to the mass text about the team dinner.

“ _So he's gotten under your skin without knowing then? Is that it?”_

He stared at it as he tried to think of a suitable answer to send to Bylestyr, since he wasn’t sure if that was exactly the case.

It was different than it had been with Sigyn.

He had known, from the start that he was in love with her. There had been no mystery about that. She had smiled at him, her hazel eyes bright and her laughter sweet in his ears as she had tucked a strand of honey brown hair behind her ear as she walked beside him on her way to the library and her job. He had just known that he wanted her in his life.

But with Thor? Despite that first handshake, they shouldn't have even crossed paths. But they had become friends and somehow, despite himself, Thor had been someone he couldn't go a day without thinking about or sending him messages or something. Other than Sigyn, his family and team, Thor was the next person he was in contact with.

He had thought nothing of it, really. Even their rooming together was a somewhat expected progression. It didn't bother him to share his space with Thor. It felt almost like he was back at home with Bylestyr and Helbindi, in how comfortable it was. How effortless it was.

It wasn't until they had played on the same line that he knew that something had been set in motion that there was no way to pull back. They just... _worked._ Even with Geno, he hadn't had that much of an affinity. It was unnerving how he just _knew_ where Thor was. How he could read all of his moves and be ready for him to pass the puck or net one. He was blown away by that knowledge, just like he was blown away by what he had seen in Thor's eyes when they had gotten off the ice.

It was all there: Thor knew. Not consciously, but the awareness was all there. It was just a matter of fact until something occurred. 

And even with that knowledge, Loki knew that he wasn't going to lift a finger to stop it. 

He pressed his phone to his lips as he thought about what he should do. What plan he should make. But he had no plan. Nor did he really have the desire to make one, despite the fact that he was  _always_ three chess moves away from the closest opponent. 

“ _Yeah. And I know I'm fucked.”_

“ _You? Loki Ulf Laufeyssen without a plan? Christ. You do have it bad.”_

“ _Don't I know it.”_

“ _Just don't lose your head. You need to be sharp if either of you will survive all of this.”_

“ _Thanks. I gotta go.”_

Loki put his phone away and finished getting dressed. He knew that Thor didn't waste time in the shower and it would look a bit suspicious if he came out to find Loki still wrapped in a towel. Moving fast, he had just finished pulling on one of the Canada jackets from the Hudson's Bay when Thor came out.

“How are we for time?”

Loki's eyes flickered to the bedside clock at the question, anything to not look at the still wet Thor.

“We're good if you hurry.”

“Got it.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Loki slipped out into the balcony as quietly as possible, careful to not wake Thor, who after playing a big part in beating the ever loving daylights out of the Germans, had crashed heavily. He hadn't gone out with the others, despite being the man of the hour. Between him and Loki, they had managed to have a hand in all the major plays of the game.

Loki too, had felt the adrenaline burning through his veins, his skin heating up with every high five or hug from Thor as they celebrated. The team was tight now, that was all too obvious and they were back in contention again and Loki couldn't help but to feel a swell of pride whenever Thor looked at him and grinned or when Tazer and Bobby Lou and the others gave him more than just a cautiously careful nod. He was part of the team. He was the compass for Thor, and Thor was his right hand. All that he wanted was nearly in his grasp.

Except one thing. 

And he wasn't sure if he could even make that leap to grab it and jeopardize it all.

Loki sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

He hadn't ever thought that it would happen to him. He had seen it happen to other guys in Juniors. In Shattuck's. Even in the Pens locker room.

Loki knew that he just...He couldn't be gay. Could he?

He couldn't have it happen to him. Not when Sigyn was there, holding his heart in her hands. She was the only one that he should be thinking of.

So why wasn't he?

 


	8. Lies Right Down Within It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor, despite tension, have managed to play a solid game and it shows the most during the game against Russia. But after, Loki and Thor know that they have to talk. 
> 
> And Loki finally gambles and Thor acts.

Loki had to admit that he never thought he’d see that expression on Thor’s face ever. Thor is usually smiling and happy. Almost obnoxiously so. But not today, when they’re on the verge of playing the Russians. Today, Thor looks like what Loki imagined his long ago ancestors looking on the eve of a brutal battle-stoic, hard and deadly. Extremely deadly.

Loki swallowed hard when he saw Thor getting his game face on as he taped up his stick and put on his gear. It was like watching a Viking going off to war. Thor wasn't a warrior, but the sight of him made Loki shiver and send a small prayer that he wasn't the one facing him across the ice. No one would believe him if he were to voice his confidence that they would defeat Russia. No one wanted to be jinxed. Nor did they want to be overly optimistic either. Russia had come out of the gate swinging and crushing all of their opponents on the way there, while they had struggled and had the Swiss force a shoot-out that he had ended up nailing. It had been close and it shouldn't have been. He was fully aware of how they all had failed.

He hadn't been showing up and he had forced the shot, not admitting to anyone other than Thor that he was as surprised as Hiller that it went in. He wouldn't dare breathe a word of it lest it got back to Yzerman and Babcock. He had seen Bergy benched and one of Thor's teammates as well. Although he did feel somewhat sorry for them, they all were fully aware that it was all or nothing and if your best was lacking, you had to step back to make room for someone that could.

“Fuck, he looks like he's going on a raid or something.” Flower muttered as Loki tied his hair back in a long plait that he tucked into the back of his jersey.

Loki nodded and forced himself to not look at Thor. He had seen it all and took it in and he was all too aware of looking like a creep if he kept on staring. There were rules in the locker room about those kinds of things. He didn’t want to put cracks in the team solidarity that they had finally managed to cement with something as minor as that.

“He technically is. Just not in the historical context.” Loki replied and mentally gave himself a pat on the back for sounding like his usually calm and cynical self. He was still freaked out about the night before they took on the Swiss and had pushed his feelings down as far as he possibly could. They still were there, but he had forced himself to suppress them and had upped his texts and Skype chats with Sigyn, Bylestyr and Helbindi in order to avoid really interacting with Thor in a closed setting.

He had noticed that even though he was still friendly, Thor was also doing the same thing. Most nights when they were both in after they had caught each other up on their days, they basically gave themselves over to their laptops and headphones. Loki was vaguely hurt and worried and would have rather not had the situation change between them, but if he was honest, he preferred things to be that way because he was a huge coward.

He also didn't want to face that part of himself and what it meant if he were to even entertain the thoughts that seemed to plague him non-stop. Even with the heightened interaction, he knew that it was all a smoke-screen.

“Right. Anyways, that's not why I'm here for. Is everything between you guys-”

Loki's eyes narrowed at the question.

“We're fine. Just because we're not joined at the hip doesn't mean we're not cool.”

Flower looked down at him before frowning and shaking his head.

“You really should stop lying to yourself. Or stop being a coward. One of the two would be good before you tear yourself apart more than you already have.”

Loki's face flushed dark red and he opened his mouth to protest, but Flower raised his hand, effectively stopping him right then and there.

“I'm not your enemy, Lokes. I'm just a concerned friend that isn't willfully blind. You're not happy and it's eating you up. You can't go on. Not like this. So you'd better figure your shit out before the Olympics ends or the best we're going to be hoping for is bronze.”

Loki bit his lip and nodded, his face not as red as before, but still burning. If Flower could see what was going on, he was well and truly fucked. The others may not have caught on as of yet, but they weren't his teammates. Not really and didn't really have privy information on his tells. But Flower...he was too damned sharp for his own good sometimes, it felt like.

“Hey, Lokes, you good?” Thor asked, bumping him in the shoulder lightly and reminding Loki that they needed to be out on the ice shortly.

“Yeah. I'm good. Just...thinking.” Loki replied, grabbing his helmet and stick.

He had expected for Thor to say something right away. To maybe make a joke, but Thor's expression was shuttered and his gaze was turned inward as if he was making some sort of calculations. He remained quiet and nervousness rose up in Loki's chest, making him dizzy and lightheaded with it. He was on the verge of panicking when Thor finally broke the silence.

“Yeah. You've been doing a lot of that lately.” Thor replied, smiling ruefully as he pushed his mane of gold hair away from his face and jamming his helmet.

“It's too late though. The game's on, yeah? Let's just do this and see what happens.”

Loki nodded, smiling gratefully at the sudden out he had been given.

“Yeah. Let's get them.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Did you see the looks on their faces! Seriously! What the fuck!” Sharpy kept shouting, his face red and shiny and his hair a mess since he was too caught up in the euphoria of their victory. The rest of the team wasn't any better, with many of them still sweaty and half-undressed as they relieved the surreal moments that had made up the game against Russia.

“Seven to three!” Sharpy crowed, grabbing Thor in a headlock, messing up hair that was stringy due to three periods of hard game play.

“Seven to three! We powned those fuckers!” Thor added, grinning like a mad man as Sharpy released him. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at the corner of the locker room, where Loki was laughing with Flower and Staal. Thor’s breath caught in his throat as he saw that. He didn’t have time to look again or analyze why this had affected him so much when he felt someone else get into his personal space.

“Good game, man. You and Laufeyssen…Christ. You made it for the rest of us.” Shea congratulated him, slapping him hard enough on the back to hurt and nearly make him slide off the bench, which was a feat in itself. They were nearly the same size, but Weber, he could admit, had a bit more muscle on him. So he winced and smiled as another teammate came up to congratulate him. It was only then that he could look at Loki again and take note of the unguarded expression across his face.

Thor hadn’t ever seen Loki look so relaxed and carefree before in the Canada team locker room. Even after Loki had scored the game winner against Hiller and had the others congratulating him, he still looked like he was holding part of himself back. He had received the compliments with grace, but he had still kept a slight bit of aloofness to himself when they had been given. But now, he was feeling them. Every single one of them.

And why shouldn’t he? Thor rationalized. He had, after all, opened the scoring for them. He had followed right after, with a brutal slapshot that had no chance of being stopped. It had been a blur after that, the Russians having caught onto them and trying to neutralize both of them while they fought to score. He had played a physical game at the end of it, not stopping until the buzzer had finally sounded, giving the Russians time to digest the brutal beating and inglorious exit from the medal contention of the Olympics.

Thor was still staring at Loki when the latter turned his head and their eyes met, locking together as they took each other in. Thor didn’t know what Loki saw, only that it must have been what he had been looking for. His mouth curled up in a thin-lipped smile and he ducked his head just a fraction before jerking his thumb behind him.

“Ten minutes.” He mouthed out, the gesture lost in the chaos that was still the dressing room. Thor nodded without stopping to think about it. After the near radio silence between them, it was definitely a welcome gesture and Thor was determined that he wasn’t going to let it go to waste.

Grinning at another jubilant greeting of congratulations, he stripped as quickly as he could and ducked into the showers. He needed to be out of the locker room before he started searching Loki out again and giving away the distance and tension that had been a constant between them ever since the Swiss game. He missed his friend and wanted him back. He wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize that.

And he also had ten minutes leeway, so he had to make the best of it as it was.

~*~*~*~*

Loki sat on his bed and was still biting his knuckle, the Starbucks’s cup full of Earl Grey he had stopped by to pick up to soothe his nerves resting on the nightstand between the beds. He glanced at it and sighed irritably.

“It’s not a big deal. Not a big deal at all.” He kept thinking this over and over again as he forced himself to go through the times that he didn’t have practice or hockey to distract him. He had it already planned in his head what he was going to say and he had at least three different scenarios for how it was all going to play out as well. It was all under control. But his hands still shook as he reached for the cup and downed almost a quarter of the still hot tea in one go.

“Hey! Oh! Did you get some pastries too?” Thor’s voice made him choke a bit on the drink and it had the effect of pulling Thor like a magnet to his side. As well as earn him a couple of hard slaps on the back.

“I’m okay! Just swallowed wrong! Jesus you hit as hard as you shoot. Damn. Ease off.” Loki sputtered, trying to get his shattered composure back.

“Yeah, Sorry man. It’s just…” He trailed off and got that distant look in his eyes that always verged on a heavy and unspoken grief that he always carried around him, but almost never let out completely. It was the same look he had when he spoke to his brother Bragi. Loki felt terrible for bringing it back, but at the exact moment he was going to apologize, Thor shook himself out of it and turned to look at Loki again, the grief gone with a tentative smile on his lips as he did.

“Never mind. So what’s up? I know that we’ve not really talked much lately and avoiding each other as much as we can when we’re on a team and sharing a room. So…What’s going on?”

Loki blinked, his mouth falling open in shock at the sudden bluntness. He hadn’t planned for that, figuring that Thor would let him take the lead as he always had in the past.

He shut his mouth with a snap and ran through what he had planned to say before finally taking a deep breath and just going for it.

“I’m fucking confused, all right. I don’t know what to think of you. Or why I’m even spending so much time even thinking about you! You know, I think more about you than my actual girlfriend! I see you…and that’s all that fills my sight. And that’s all I want to fill my sight. I can’t see anything else because you’re there. You play beside me, you sleep at arm’s length yet that isn’t ever close enough!”

Thor didn’t say anything after that outburst. But at least he didn’t react negatively, Loki noticed, which was a small positive sign. He had been expecting Thor to walk away or maybe even yell at him or call him ridiculous. What he wasn’t expecting was for Thor to bound up to him and embrace him tightly and kiss him like he was dying and Loki was his only salvation.

He didn’t fight back, despite it being a shock to his system that Thor would be so forward and so, so, so impulsive with it. But that didn’t stay in his mind for long, since the feel of Thor’s mouth on his was enough to push any rational thinking out of his head and to let his body just go on out of its own accord and becoming pliant under Thor’s administrations.

He didn’t fight when Thor pushed him down onto the bed and arranged their limbs so that they were more comfortable. His hands roamed over Thor’s back out of their own accord, going under that Hudson’s Bay shirt that they all had to wear to trace the muscles under his fingertips. Thor moaned into his mouth, a low sound that made his dick harden instantly. Thor felt it and one of his hands went from being tangled into Loki’s hair to snaking under the waistband of Loki’s track bottoms and boxers before wrapping around his cock.

Loki’s fingers dug into Thor’s back as Thor moved his hand carefully, his fingers looking for the spots that would make Loki squirm and arch his hips into Thor’s hand. While Thor ground his own cock into Loki’s hips. Thor let out one last gasp and pulled away from Loki’s mouth to gulp in some air. He was breathing heavily as he worked against Loki's hip, his hand speeding up as he moved. Loki groaned screwing his eyes shut as he felt the build up of his impending orgasm approached. He could feel Thor was close himself, his movements getting more frantic and sloppy as it drew near.

Loki's nails scored Thor's back and he bit his lip as his body tightened. Thor's hand knew exactly which places to hit perfectly. The spot right below the head of his cock, the circling thumb around his slit spreading precome as his foreskin moved up and down, all of it was being done so well that Loki knew he was going to come in a couple of moments. He groaned and threw his head back when it came in a burst of white heat as he spilled all over Thor's hand. He shuddered when he heard Thor's groans and his hand tighten in his hair before he ground his hips once, twice and came with a muffled shout and a sigh. His head fell forward, landing on top of Loki's shoulder and stayed there.

Loki opened his eyes and swallowed hard, the afterglow settling into his limbs and making them heavy. He didn't want to move. The weight of Thor on top of him was safe and warm. He felt at ease with the world and having Thor on top of him, his body a delicious weight was the perfect ending to what had been a red letter night.

Thor turned his head then and pressed a soft kiss on the side of his neck, making Loki hum with pleasure before he raised his hand and carded his fingers through Thor's hair.

“I don't want to move.” Thor murmured, his voice thick and gravelly with sleep and the remnants of a good orgasm.

“But I don't want to crush you either.”

Loki laughed quietly, pulled his hands away from his hair and pushed Thor, making him roll over and land heavily beside him.

Thor raised his head and pushed his hair away from his face, making Loki's breath catch at the expression on Thor's face. He was looking at Loki as if he was the answer to the secret of the universe. Thor's eyes wide and clear and his mouth quirking up in a small, sweet smile that made Loki realize that for the first time in his life, he was the cause of such love.

He knew that was what it was. Thor loved him.

Just like he knew, with the same certainty that had pushed him so far into hockey, that he loved Thor as much as well. He hadn't been sure before, had been questioning everything, but he realized it then that there was no more hiding to be done.

He swallowed hard before he cut the distance between them and captured Thor's mouth into the deepest kiss he had ever given anyone in his life. Thor's lips tasted like mint chapstick and were softer than he remembered them being. And it was perfect when Thor opened his mouth to let him him in.

It was just perfect.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The games-There won't always be a chapter for the games and I will skip a few of the non-essential ones to move the story along. Russia was a heavy one, so it gets a mention and it also made sense, plot-wise, to have it be mentioned. 
> 
> Thor and Loki-I debated them getting it on fully, but the thing is that they're testing the waters with this. They feel deeply for each other, but they wouldn't be experienced to just go all the way. I also thought it would be too much for the first time. There's also the fact that they are about 18 or so and considered themselves straight, so experience would be minimal. 
> 
> I also kept it that Thor would be the action taker and Loki would be overthinking it. Yes, they are together, but it's not fully resolved as to how they feel. They still have a gold medal to win and things to struggle through. 
> 
> Again, I've been super busy with only a day off and just now managed to get this written. Much thanks to all that are reading. Stuff is proofed and Lyrics are still from Bastille.


	9. You Put Up Your Defenses Before You Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after and Loki comes to a decision and acts upon it and thankfully, Thor's also on the same page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is kind of one of the last few chapters and some. We're getting closer to the Gold Medal game and they have more or less figured it out and they are going towards the Gold Game. Sorry for the long delay in chapters. This story has basically gone in ways I never expected and I haven't had a long while where I can sit and write for long periods of time. Luckily, the year is ending and I'm moving back to Canada, so I'm hoping that I can update with a bit more regularity. 
> 
> Proofed, but again, if errors exist, my apologies. 
> 
> Title again from Bastille.

The alarm blared, jerking Thor out of sleep. He rolled over to slap his hand on the button and was obstructed by a warm barrier. Puzzled, he opened his eyes just a bit and nearly fell out of bed when he came face to face with a peacefully sleeping Loki curled up against his chest. All the memories of last night came back and despite Thor going over this scenario over and over in his head, it still didn’t come out like he had pictured it.

There was no sense of shame or awkwardness around them. Only of surprise that things had happened the way that they had. He had never expected for Loki to have been so raw and honest about his emotions. Considering that there had been such a dissonance between them once things started becoming clearer to both of them. He had seen the withdrawal in Loki after the Germany game, but tried to not feel hurt about it. How could he?

It wasn't as if he had been behaving any better either.

He could admit that now, as he studied Loki's face. He had been hiding, he admitted as he kept on looking at Loki's pale face, which had completely smoothed out in sleep and made him look much younger than his years. All of the worry lines and tightness around his thin-lipped mouth had disappeared. Seeing him so unguarded and so vulnerable made Thor's heart clench just a little. He hadn't had anyone in his bed look like that while he had his arms around them.

Even Saxa, the person that he trusted alongside Bragi, never looked that trusting or carefree. But Loki did and it made it all too painfully obvious that he had been fooling himself before. As much as he had wanted to sink into the mindless preparations for the games, for Bragi's upcoming wedding, and for a future he just didn't see with Saxa anymore...He couldn't deny it anymore. Not when he was covered in last night's proof and sleeping next to the Jotun that had somehow stolen his heart without him noticing.

His mouth twisted into a frown as he realized that he would have to tell Saxa that it wasn't going to happen between them. As much as he would have loved for it to have been the case...He knew that at best, they would be great friends. But he'd never love her like he loved Loki. And he couldn't bring himself to live like that when he knew what really being in love meant and really was. He just couldn't be that unfair to both of them.

Not when he had been made to promise that he'd never give anything less than one hundred percent in all areas of his life. That had been Balder's only stipulation for him to follow. Balder had never asked for the tickets or the merchandise that Thor and Bragi had procured for Balder when he had been too sick to finally watch Thor's games. He hadn't needed much, according to Nanna. He had only wanted for Thor to live his life to the fullest as much as he possibly could.

Thor had promised and he had thought that he had figured it out with Saxa. Until Loki came into the picture.

It wasn't going to be easy. His parents would hate it. But he wasn't about to break a promise he had sworn to never break.

It was a gamble. He knew that. Loki could still back down. Could still ask that they keep this quiet between them and only intermittently meet with each other when either one was on the road. Could also break it off completely once he came to his senses. It would hurt.

Thor wouldn't deny that it would. But it was a risk that he would be willing to take. Even if he never recovered from it. He'd still take it.

That he was certain of.

Overcome with silent emotion, he leaned over to press a kiss on Loki's forehead. A featherlight kiss that only made Loki frown briefly before he snuggled deeper into the blankets. He let out a dreamy sigh before his head jerked up.

“We're fucking late for practice!”

He yelped, jumping out of bed and rushing to the bathroom, leaving Thor watching him as he scrambled around.

It wasn't until he noticed that Thor was still lying on the bed laughing quietly to himself that he finally stopped and looked at his room-mate.

“It's a free day today, isn't it?”

Thor nodded, not trusting himself to speak without bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

Loki growled irritably when he checked his watch. “I could have slept in more.”

“You could have. Or we can make the best of the day.” Thor agreed amiably. 

Loki raised an eyebrow.

“And how do you propose we do that?”

Thor cleared his throat, a slight blush creeping up on his cheeks before he spoke.

“We do need to take a shower and since we don't have to hurry today, we could do it together.” 

Loki laughed quietly at the suggestion before beckoning Thor over. He wasn't as brave as he wanted to pretend, but if Thor was willing to continue where they had left off last night, he wasn't about to say no.

“Well then, I guess we should get started.”

~*~*~*~*

Loki could hear the blood rushing in his ears as he stripped off his clothes in the bath and threw them in the hamper in the corner. Although he had been in agreement in regards to Thor joining him in the shower, he couldn't stop being nervous. His heart felt like it was beating at twice the speed it normally did and he was sure that his entire face was red. Despite having been surrounded by team-mates in various states of undress for most of his playing life, this was different. He was going to be naked, under the spray of a shower and quite possibly losing his virginity to...to...Thor.

It wasn't the same as it had been with Sigyn, since it had been simply something that had been expected. They just had been fooling around in her flat, he had been kissing her, tasting the mint on her tongue and his hands wandered over her breast and down to her waist and his fingers crept under the waistband of her yoga pants and it had been decided.

He honestly didn't even remember who had been the first to take off their clothes, only that it had happened and the next thing he knew, she was kneeling between his legs. She was putting a condom on and then he flipped her over and he was inside her, sweating bullets and wondering what the fuck he was doing.

It was pretty similar to this, except he at least got an invitation this time around. He swallowed down his nervousness and got into the shower and began to fiddle with the temperature until it was a bit warmer than he usually liked it. They joked that since he was Jotun and they were supposedly descended from frost giants, he was cold-blooded and didn't mind the ice and the frost that was why he could tolerate colder than normal showers. He always had snorted at that, but he couldn't deny the cold tolerance and was mindful of that as he fiddled with the taps until the water felt just right.

He took a moment to scrub off the sticky remains of last night and was about to start on his hair when the curtain was pulled back and Thor's solidly warm presence was right behind him. He turned around and smiled weakly at Thor, who was reaching over him to pluck out a bottle of shampoo and was moving towards the stream of water.

“Get clean first. Then...” He trailed off as he leaned in and kissed him on the corner of the mouth before he stuck his head under the water and proceeded to start soaping up his hair before he handed the bottle blindly to Loki, who followed suit.

They worked in silence until they were both clean and smelling like expensive toiletries. Thor smiled at him as he pushed his own hair out of the way, now a dull brass colour and moved closer, his movements as calculated as if he was making a play on the ice. Loki's breath caught in his throat and he came closer, his heart starting up its too rapid beating again. He was the one that made the first move, his arms wrapping around Thor's shoulders as their lips met again.

They kissed gently at first, Loki eager to taste Thor as he hadn't the night before. He tasted both his bottom and top lip, marveling at the coolness of them before he licked at his mouth, demanding entrance to his mouth, which tasted of toothpaste and cold. A cold that reminded him of ice cream in the winter and early morning skates. He plunged in deeper, rubbing their tongues together and exploring every centimetre of his mouth before pulling back and biting at the bottom lip before opening his eyes and looking at Thor.

Thor, whose eyes were blown and his adam's apple bobbed furiously up and down as he breathed in through his nose. Loki could feel his erection jutting into his hip, just like he was sure Thor could feel his doing the same. Loki wouldn't deny that he was pleased to get that kind of reaction from Thor and pressed his body closer so that there was no space between them. He didn't have to tilt his head so much in order to kiss the juncture of Thor's neck and shoulder, biting down only enough to make Thor cry out.

He was all too aware that they couldn't leave marks on each other. He had Sigyn and Thor had Jarnsaxa and there was the team to think about. They didn't need anyone asking questions. Well, anymore than they already had. He knew that Flower would ask. Just like Sharp and Toews would grill Thor. But part of him still wanted to lay claim to Thor. Even if it was a temporary mark.

Thor only groaned and let his head fall back against the tile, exposing his neck and it was enough to make him move to the claim.

“I...I want to fuck you. I need to fuck you.” Loki growled out, pressing frantic kisses as his hand skimmed down Thor's side, to his hip and then down to the delicate skin behind his balls. Thor let out a hoarse groan and breathed out a soft “yeah”, that Loki would have missed if he hadn't been on edge and listening for it.

“Lube's on the edge of the shower stall.” Thor got out, pulling Loki out of his lust filled thoughts and moving away from Thor briefly to grab the lube. He at least knew that much.

Uncapping it, he let maybe too much go all over his fingers before he resumed kissing Thor's neck and shoulder as he moved his fingers against Thor's entrance. It was tight and he was careful to pay attention to Thor's reactions before he circled the ring of muscle a few times. He waited until it relaxed just a fraction before he worked a fingertip in.

Thor's groan was deep and ragged as Loki got his finger in and worked it around, curling it and crooking it until he was able to find a hard spot that made Thor shout when it was stroked. There was the sound of wet flesh slapping the tiles and that encouraged Loki to add another finger and keep on stroking, curling both fingers and scissoring them until he was afraid that Thor was going to fall to the bottom of the shower stall.

He debated adding another finger in, but decided against it when Thor's growls got high pitched. He was close to coming. So close.

Loki pulled his fingers out and pulled away from Thor only long enough to turn him around and bend him over before he positioned himself at Thor's entrance. He went slow, listening to Thor's moans and whimpers and resisting the urge to just bury himself into that tight heat. Once he was completely sheathed, he started moving.

He was off at first, at least until his perfectionist streak kicked in and he figured out how to move, how to position himself and grab Thor's hips to get a good rhythm moving that soon had Thor backing up against him and shouting out hoarsely whenever Loki's cock hit his prostrate. His hands went out and he held himself braced against the wall as Loki pounded into him, getting him closer and closer to coming. He was nearly there, he could feel it in the heat suffusing his body and the way that his eyes crossed when it finally came, shooting all over the wall as he emptied himself out. He felt the heat and the hoarse shouting of Loki a few minutes after and it wasn't until the water got colder that he snapped out of the orgasmic afterglow.

“I guess that's the cue to get out of here and do something.” Loki huffed out tiredly, pressing a kiss on the back of Thor's neck before carefully pulling out and pulling the soap and washcloth towards them.

Thor only blinked as he straightened out, wincing at the pain. But it was a good pain and he hoped it wouldn't last that long. They had a game against the Slovaks and that would determine their seeding and he wasn't about to fuck it up. Even if having Loki inside of him would make it so worth it.

He saw Loki lathering up the washcloth and he was about to reach for it when Loki shook his head.

“Let me.”

“All right.”

Thor agreed, closing his eyes as Loki carefully scrubbed him clean, being extra gentle in certain spots before he rinsed off the cloth and handed it to Thor, who did the same for him.

“So where to?”

Loki asked once they had dried off and put on their respective Canada gear.

Thor grinned.

“Leave it to me. You'll like it.”

Loki smiled and kissed him, soft, slow and lingering before regretfully pulling away. It would have to do until they came back.

“I'm sure I will. Let's go then.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a whole lot of introspection between them, but I feel that they would still be questioning their choices and how they would impact the future. There's not much of a resolution as of yet. But it will come, since it would be quite difficult for them to just run off into the sunset without massive repercussions and then some. They love each other. But how they will go about it will be a whole different ballgame.


	10. You Leave Because You're Certain Of Who You Want To Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's heading up to this: The Gold Medal game and after the lacklustre win, Loki decides he's going to make a choice the game or love. He finds though, that not everything has to be completely black and white despite what he has always believed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a game centric and still emotion based chapter, since it occurred to me that Loki hasn't ever really addressed his past and Thor hasn't really explained where and how he was inspired to play. So this was the result.
> 
> Proofed and edited, but if mistakes show up, they will be fixed.
> 
> Song title is still Bastille.

Loki was alone in the shower, willing his heartbeat to slow down so that it didn’t feel like it was going to burst out of his chest. Practice was done, but he was still smarting over the bawling that Babcock had given them before that morning’s practice. He couldn’t blame him, despite smarting and wanting to be sulky and sullen about receiving such a tongue lashing before they had been drilled until everyone’s legs felt like jelly. It had been a close game against the Slovakians two nights before. They had gotten careless and sloppy and let them take the advantage and they had nearly lost their chance at gold. The entire game should have been in the bag. Even with Chara and Halak, they should have pounded them into the ice.

His hands clenched where they were pressed against the wet tiles. They needed to do better. They couldn’t afford to be distracted. None of them could do it. Although they had won and had more or less gotten lucky that time around, the old mantra of them not being able to coast was again in the centre in his mind.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, clearing his mind of everything and only focusing on how the water running down his hair and back felt. He needed to get back into the zone and get his scoring touch back again to shut up the commentary that was already creeping up. He could sense it, in the eyes of his teammates (except Thor) and in what the press was not so subtly hinting at whenever he stumbled upon an article whenever he was killing time while on Skype.

He needed most of all, to push his emotions away.

He had to compartmentalize his priorities if he wanted that gold and he did want it badly. He opened his eyes and picked up the shampoo bottle, staring at it with sightless eyes as he wondered if he could go through with it. If he could just tell Thor that they would need to put a hold on their relationship just until the Olympics. Until they got the medal and then they would go back to what they were.

He opened the bottle, pouring out a bit too much of it onto the palm of his hands and he rubbed it against the wet length of his hair. He wouldn’t do it though, because despite them losing their edge in the Slovakian game, he knew that it would be the easy way out.

He debated it for a few more minutes before shaking his head and dismissing it. He maybe would have done it a couple of years before. He would have, when he was trying to be the big man and everything to everyone that looked at him. He had sacrificed everything back then for the game. Nothing had compared to hockey and he figured that despite crippling loneliness that had attacked him in the middle of the night, it would be worth it in the end. It wouldn’t take away from his game and once he was on a team that would be led to the playoffs and the Stanley Cup would be his, he would be justified in all of the choices that he had made to get there. There would be nothing to distract him.

Nothing he would be able to look back and pinpoint as the exact reason for a failure. Like love and other commitments that didn’t involve his life on the ice.

But he had seen the other side of that and most importantly: He wasn’t a child to blame everything on being distracted by outside influences.

That wasn’t his style and in all honesty, it never had been. He wasn’t about to start blaming the fact that for once, he had everything he longed for in one person: love and an equal, if not more, passion for hockey. Thor was his other half. He wasn’t going to give it up because he was scared of making more mistakes and not living up to the expectations that were set up for him.

He rinsed his hair and finished scrubbing up, snorting at his childishness. He wouldn’t deny he was disappointed and slightly terrified. But he was damned if he was going to let a good thing slip through his hands. In fact, even thinking about him made a fond grin break out on his face. Thor was someone he couldn’t let go. Couldn’t take a break from and would miss desperately if they ever lost contact with each other. He knew his life would be more sterile and bleak if Thor were to suddenly disappear from it.

No Gold medal was worth that.

Not now and not ever.

~*~*~*~*

Thor was lying on his stomach, his eyes glued to the thick book that was sitting open in front of him. His hair was still tangled and wet and he was only wearing a pair of low slung jeans and nothing more. They didn’t have anywhere to be at the moment, other than the team dinner and that wasn’t for awhile yet. And he could clearly see that Thor was taking advantage of the opportunity to finally catch up on his reading. He had been affected by the practice and the turn out of the game and books were the next best thing to take his mind off of the situation. Loki suspected that Bragi wasn’t available and he had been in the shower, having his own epiphanies.

So a book it had been. Loki remembered Thor making a throwaway comment once when Loki had noticed the rumpled paperback in his messenger back about books being a lifesaver during his formative years. He hadn’t really thought about it then. It was just another quirk he had noted, just like how Thor had noted the scarring and tattoos that had peeked out of his collar and shirtsleeves and had said nothing about them.

There was more to the story. There had to be more and Loki felt ashamed that even though he loved this man, he didn’t really _know_ him as much as he wanted to know him. And if he was going to make a choice and be with Thor, they were going to have to change that.

“What are you reading?” He asked as he went over to the dresser and dug out some clothing suitable for lounging. He was glad that the only stipulation for team dinners was that they all had to wear the Hudson Bay gear and nothing more. He didn’t exactly like it, but at least it was better than some of the other gear he’d seen around the village.

“Hmmm? Oh. Uh. The Forsyte Saga. My oldest brother liked it and I found a copy like his when I was downtown with Tazer, so yeah.”

Loki nodded as he pulled on the clothes and came by to get a closer look at the book. It was a cheap blue Wordsworth copy with a badly cracked spine. Loki was sure that it had come from a second hand shop somewhere and it touched him that despite the money he was making, Thor was still frugal enough to get a used paperback rather than something shiny and fancy.

“What's it about?” He asked, rubbing his hair dry with a towel before adding some product in his hair to make it stay in place. He didn't feel like braiding it when he was sure that he wasn't going to be out or on the ice and just left it like that. Thor grinned and looked up.

“Honestly? It's about a guy that refuses to divorce his wife even though they're terrible for each other and the society that they live in. Not the standard fare, I guess. But I've always liked period pieces. My brother was studying history, so I guess that I got it from him.”

“Oh. I didn't know that Bragi had studied history.”

Loki commented as he reached over, careful to not lose his place and read the blurb on the back of the book. Thor was right, it wasn't something that he would have ever expected him to read. Maybe if he was an undergrad or something. But not as a book to be read for pleasure. He knew that most of the guys stuck to airport fiction or fantasy. Nothing heavy, really, since they didn't have that much time to actually read with their schedules.

Thor cleared his throat and the bed shifted as he sat up.

“Not Bragi. Our oldest brother. Balder. He...he loved history. I think he wanted to be a professor someday.”

The careful tone that Thor had made warning bells go off into Loki's head, as well as embarrassment. He hadn't known that Thor had another brother other than Bragi, a good natured blonde man that wasn't as big as Thor, but had the same boisterous charm as him. A man dressed in sharp suits and had been there during the draft, if he recalled correctly. In fact, he had been the only one of Thor's family there, unlike other players that had been drafted that year. Maybe there had been two other women there, and a little boy. He wasn't sure. He had been too nervous to notice anything that didn't involve him or the Pens that day.

“Did...Did something happen to Balder?”

Thor took a deep breath and exhaled sharply before nodding.

“Cancer. He died before I was even in the Knights. He was the reason why I even ended up playing in the first place. My parents...They weren't really keen on me playing. They had loads of stuff to do. And our little brother was born blind and kept them busy, so Balder was the one that encouraged me and took up the task of getting me to practices when Bragi was too young to do it. Then he got too sick to do it and Bragi took up the responsibility.”

Loki carefully sat down next to him and put the book face down on the bed before carefully putting an arm around Thor's broad shoulders.

“I'm sorry. He sounds like he really cared for you.”

Thor nodded, not looking at Loki, but leaning into the warmth of him.

“He was amazing. I'm not saying Bragi isn't. Both of them are fantastic in different ways, but he was the one that kept us all together. He was the glue and when he was gone...it never was the same. It became just me and Bragi against the world. We became a family unit and then Idun came along and Jarnsaxa and now you.”

He looked up then, his eyes dark and shadowed as he wet his lips before speaking.

“That's if...If you want to be. I know that you've got Sigyn and I'm still technically with Jarnsaxa. I'm not an idiot. I know what would happen. I know all the shit that people talk about you. I just know that in any capacity, I want to be part of your life. So...is that possible?”

Loki felt like he had been sucker punched, but in a good way. He hadn't thought that Thor would be the one to ask first. He had thought that he would be the one jumping the gun. He knew that Thor had been contemplating marriage to Jarnsaxa recently. Had been talking about rings while Loki felt his insides churning even when he was making appreciative noises while he texted Bylestyr with frantic questions. He should have taken the high road, as Bylestyr had suggested. Let Thor know that it wasn't going to happen and that it was just a passion brought on by closeness and the pressures of the Olympics.

But when Thor looked at him that way, offering him his heart, more or less...He wasn't about to take the high road. Not when he had just spent about half an hour actually making up his mind that everything be fucked and he was going to follow his heart no matter what.

“You know...I was in the shower asking myself the same thing. Whether we were too close to each other and making each other lose focus of what was important. I like to win.”

Thor snorted at that and Loki forced himself to smile. It wasn't an easy admission for him to make. Especially since he was all too painfully aware of all the commentary that had come along with that desire to win and that perfectionism that drove him to do so.

“I've been good because I've poured my energy, my thoughts and my soul into the game. I didn't keep relationships because they interfered with winning. Even when I used to get my head slammed into walls because I was better than the older kids.”

He paused and pulled Thor's hand to the scar that was usually hidden under his hair, but could be seen whenever he braided his hair and got him to touch the thick scar tissue. Thor hissed and swore in Norsk, but didn't really interrupt Loki, encouraging him to continue.

“I just kept my eyes on the prize. I moved schools. I left the fucking _country_ to make this happen. Nothing else mattered and then some Norwegian idiot who was picked second shook my hand at the draft and things changed. We should have hated each other. Hell, I wanted to. It would have been easier in the long run. But then...It happened.”

He ducked his head, trying to hide the redness that he was damned aware had spread across his cheeks and forehead. He was embarrassed, but he needed to say this.

“You got under my skin and then you were my wing and we just make it work. On the ice and I don't really know how good it will be off the ice, but I don't want to sacrifice you too. Not when I know what it feels like to be with you.”

“That's...that's fucking amazing. I don't think that anyone has really said they loved me in such a backhanded and sweet way. Thank you.”

Loki blinked, but laughed before he could decide exactly how to react to that.

“Fuck off, Odinsen. That's the last time I ever do it too.”

Thor laughed as he leaned in and kissed Loki, crunching his book underneath him as he did so and yelping once he had realized what he had done. 

“Oh for fuck's sake! I'll get you a new copy. Come on. We have some time.”

~*~*~*~*~

“I think I'm going to puke.” Thor groaned as he sat down to lace up his skates before the game. 

“You won't be the only one. I think Toews did that already.” Loki replied, discreetly pointing to Toews, who was sitting on the bench looking as if he had been invited to his own execution. 

“You're over-thinking it, Odinsen. Just play the game. Don't think about anything else except doing your own part. The rest will come. Trust me on this.”

Thor turned to look at him, his eyes with their pupils so blown that there was only a small rim of iris showing and Loki felt like he could drown in them. He felt as if Thor was reading every part of him, down to the hidden depths of his soul before he finally nodded and turned away, giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder before he did so.

“All right. Let's do it!”

 


	11. Highest Fall You'll Ever Grace, It Scares Me Half To Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gold Medal in the bag, Thor and Loki take the next steps in this new complicated relationship that they are in. They didn't count on Tazer having his say in it though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one, but I didn't want to delay it further and I am still working on whether it's going till the end of the season or not. So for now, enjoy Loki being the fearless one and Thor and Tazer being the ones that are catching up.

Thor wiped his face with the towel and took a deep breath. His nerves were frayed to the point of no return and it was only the beginning of the overtime period that had been tacked on. He had been heartbroken at that; he wasn't going to lie about it. He was sure that they had in the bag and then Kessler (always had to piss everyone off, Loki had muttered angrily) had potted the last goal.

Doughty and Weber and Niedermeyer had taken it as a personal affront, while Tazer had looked positively murderous. He himself had just been frustrated. He didn't think that he had the stamina to keep this going all night. He was damned aware of his limitations and he knew that forcing more than one overtime wasn't going to happen. Not if his heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest.

They were going all out and it had never felt like the game was in hand. Not at all. The Americans weren't going to make this easy for him, their confidence built pretty high up after their last meetings. They needed to go all out and do it as fast as possible. He chanced a glance around and saw that the exact same thoughts were all over his teammate's faces. They needed to shut it down and shut it down hard.

“Score. Do everything to score.” Had been Babcock's words during the last intermission.

Thor was sure that the Americans had the same instructions, since they were doing their best to drown Bobby Lou with as many shots as possible. Although they were technically rivals. Thor made a mental note that when they survived this game, he was going to do something nice for Bobby Lou. Lord knew that he couldn't have held up to the pressure of facing all those shots. The man had nerves of fucking steel.

“What's got you down, kid?” Doughty asked, nudging him none too gently and bringing him back to the moment at hand.

“Nothing. Just getting into the moment, you know?” Thor asked, turning to look at Doughty, who was sitting next to him while they both waited for their shift to start.

“Yeah, I get that. You scared?”

Thor shook his head. “Should I be?”

“Nah. We're going to get the gold. I have no doubt of it. How can you when you have me, you and Lokes on the roster?”

Although it was probably one of the most ironically arrogant things he had ever heard someone say, he couldn't help but to admire how ballsy the statement was.

He laughed and shook his head. “I wish I had as much guts as you, Doughty.”

Doughty shrugged. “It's true. We just have to get an opening. It's not like they really have big guns on the roster. Kane isn’t as effective without you feeding him passes and despite everything, neither is Parise. Kessel and Kesler aren't you guys or any of our older guys. Far from it. We're front loaded. We just have to hem them in and let you fly. We have it in the bag. Trust me.”

Thor forced himself to grin and nod in agreement, despite the doubts plaguing him through and through. He knew that there wasn’t any shame in getting silver. It was still a medal. Either way, they were going to come out winners.

But it was another thing to bear the weight and expectations on one’s shoulders. Despite being a decent guy, Doughty wasn’t expected to carry the team to glory. Not like he and Loki were. Doughty could take it easy and joke about the situation. It would hurt him to not get a silver, but no one would dissect his performance that game. Not like they would do with him and Loki.

He craned his neck to see where Loki was sitting. He was beside Carts and Richie, listening to their nervous banter and looking down at the floor of the bench. He looked up though, when he felt Thor’s eyes on him and grinned weakly at him before the buzzer rang out, signaling the beginning of overtime and their shifts on the ice.

They were going to be the first wave of attack, Babcok had explained. Throw everything at the Americans and hope that someone would be able to score in the barrage that he, Loki, Staal, Carts and Tazer would surely create. They were all shooters. Someone was bound to score. Bobby Lou would hold the net and they could hope for the best.

That was what he told himself when he jumped off the bench and onto the ice, the familiar feeling of Loki skating beside him settling in as they took their positions on the ice.

“Stop thinking about it and it’s going to happen, all right?” Loki muttered to him before giving him a subtle nudge and getting ready to take the face-off.

He gave a jerky nod and focused on the ice in front of him. The linesman dropped the puck and Loki swiped over to Tazer. They were off.

Thor blocked everything else out of his mind and skated in to his usual position, looking for openings and skating away from Kesler, who was determined to block him off and make any chances of scoring he had null and void. He was getting pretty damned sick of it. They’d had a couple of good scoring chances all spoiled by that damned troll. He knew that was what Kesler was doing; it was all too obvious by the smirk he got from the American when they lined up for another face-off again. Thor exhaled in frustration and tried to figure out a way to actually get away and get clear from Kesler to end the damned game.

“I’ve got him.” Doughty muttered, skating up to Thor and cuffing him on the shoulder.

“Just do what you need to do, all right?”

He didn’t wait for an answer as he skated back to his position and right after, the puck dropped and he was on Kesler without any hesitation. He shadowed him so well that he was finally able to get clear, right by Miller and away from anyone else. Tazer saw him and slapped the puck to Thor.

Thor didn’t even think. He just looked up and saw Loki was in position even before he heard him shout his name.

He smacked it over to Loki, who made the connection and without breaking his stride, slapped it through Miller’s pads. Thor wasn’t sure if it had gone through until the light went on and Miller’s head went down, leaving him to completely collapse in a pile of dejection onto the ice. Loki leapt up in a damned rare show of emotion and into Thor’s, Doughty’s and Niedermeyer’s arms, as they had been the closest to him when the goal had gone in. The rink went wild and the entire Canadian roster swarmed the ice, leaving the Americans to slink off the ice in defeat.

They had done it.

The Gold was theirs.

~*~*~*~*

“Have you talked to anyone in your family yet?” Thor’s head snapped up from the screen of his phone at Loki’s quietly murmured question.

They both had somehow managed to sneak off from the rowdy party that the team Canada head quarters had become to catch their breaths and maybe have some time with each other before they have to be out there doing the usual media and teammate scrum. Although sort of unplanned, Thor was willing to lay money down that Loki’s eyes had been on him and the minute that Thor had disappeared into the empty alcove just outside the hall that was party central.

Thor held up his phone, but set it to sleep before he embraced Loki tightly, burying his nose in that wet, herbal smelling hair and breathing the scent in. He could feel the nervous shudder that went through Loki’s body as he did that as well as the tightening of his grip on Thor before they both let go and looked at each other.

“I was about to. But then, it’s not like they didn’t already know what happened.” Thor pointed out, his voice also quiet. Neither of them wanted to break the silence that lay between then, broken only by the muffled sounds of loud music and the occasional bout of raucous laughter.

Loki nodded and exhaled loudly before he pinched the bridge of his nose and gave Thor a long, sharp look before nodding. Thor watched him, not sure what to say or do until he got the proper cues. Loki was wound up and Thor could read the signs enough to know that it didn't have anything to do with the game or the lack of communication with his family. It was something else and Thor swallowed hard while wondering if he was going to be strong enough to be nonchalant when the blow actually came.

He watched and waited for Loki, who rubbed his eyes before exhaling and inhaling again, as if steering himself for something before he finally looked at Thor.

“I broke up with Sigyn tonight.”

Thor blinked at the blunt news, his body completely still as he processed the news.

“Wh-What?”

Loki nodded grimly, running his hands through his hair to compose himself before he continued.

“I...I thought about this and us and I...don't love and I don't want to hurt her because I'm a fucking pussy.”

He gave a choking laugh that sounded a bit between a sob and laugh as he looked at Thor and came closer, wrapping his arms around Thor's shoulders and pressing their foreheads together.

“I'm fucking scared, Odinssen. I'm scared and I threw up before I came here and I don't know if this is going to work. But I want for it to happen.”

Thor gave a choked laugh and wrapped his own arms around Loki, bringing him closer so that no space was left between them.

“You can't believe how fucking glad I am to hear it. I'm in. I'm in, _Kjaegelit._ ”

The last was whispered before Thor kissed him, tenderly and softly and with all the promise of what he had just said to Loki. Loki moaned against his mouth, his hands tangled in Thor's wet hair when they heard a surprised cry behind them.

They jumped apart, both of them breathing hard at the intrusion of Tazer, who was standing there, staring at them with his mouth open and his eyes narrowed.

“Tazer! What the hell man? You need something?”

Thor asked, getting his wits about him faster than Loki, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights at the intrusion.

Tazer's mouth snapped shut and he shook his head.

“Tazer...You gotta-”

Tazer waved his hand as he backed away from the alcove. His face was red and his voice was strangled as he spoke, but there was no condemnation on his part. Only embarrassment at having walked into a clearly intimate moment.

“I'm not getting involved... Just get back in there. Stagger it, for fuck's sake. I'm out.”

 


	12. Icarus' Life Has Just Begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the game, conversations and unexpected emergencies arise to make things even more complicated.

“When do we have to go to the airport?” Loki muttered as he blearily looked at the alarm clock that was supposed to be on the nightstand and had somehow migrated to the carpet sometime during the night. Thor shifted and gave some kind of unintelligible reply before his head popped out from the cocoon of blankets that he had somehow rolled himself into when Loki hadn’t been paying attention.

“Around nine, I think. But your team might be different. Text Fleury just in case I’m wrong.”

Loki nodded and reached into the nightstand drawer, breathing a sigh of relief when his fingers curled up around his phone. He thanked whatever deities were out there for having that much foresight. Last night had been as fucking crazy as he had suspected after they had gone back to the party after Tazer had found them. He honestly didn’t recall much of the rest of the evening. Flower had pounced on him and never left his side, speaking in rapid fire French as they made the rounds of the room. He sort of remembered that he had gotten dragged into a beer pong tourney with Carts, Richie and Doughty before Flower finally had decided that he had socialized enough and shoved him towards his room.

He knew he hadn’t drank that much, but the comedown from all the adrenaline, first from the game, then from breaking up with Sigyn and finally making it official with Thor had gutted him. He didn’t recall being so relieved as he had been when the door had swung open and Thor pulled him inside, shutting everything out and letting him finally have some breathing space.

“I gotcha, mate.” Thor had murmured as he wrapped his arms around Loki and led him to the bed and put a bottle of water in his hand.

He drank half of it down before he finally was able to get himself somewhat centered.

“Thanks.” Loki had replied before they both just flopped on the bed and lay there, staring at the ceiling before Loki finally managed to wake up and wonder if they had accidentally slept through their airport ride.

He unlocked his phone and frowned at the time. It was still early and he was debating just going back to sleep with Thor at his back when a text from Flower popped up.

_“We’re leaving at nine. Tell Odinssen the Hawks are at the same time. Different flight though. Don’t be late.”_

“Hey, we're leaving at nine. Hawks too.”

Thor made a sound as a reply that Loki took as an affirmative and typed out a reply and settled back in the bed, shifting a bit when a bunched up bit of blanket dug into his back. Once he was comfortable, he looked over at Thor, who was looking at his phone with a frown on his face. He sighed heavily, replied and tossed his phone on top of his jacket. He caught Loki staring at him and attempted to smile, but it fell flat.

“Jarnsaxa.”

Loki didn’t say anything. It hadn't been easy breaking up with Sigyn and he regretted that he had to hurt her in order to be with Thor. He supposed he could have stayed with her, built a family around her and still had Thor on the side. He knew that wouldn't ever happen though. It would eat him alive, to live that lie. He would be a bigger asshole and have even more emotional hostages if he had chosen that path. That was why he had chosen to be the asshole in the present and hurt her now, rather than live a lie and hurt her worse in the end.

“Have you told her yet?”

Thor shook his head, reaching over for his discarded phone. He frowned as he swiped the screen of his phone to unlock it and opened the text, his face going paler than it was after the late night partying.

“Not yet. I don't want to meet her to do it. I'd lose my nerve otherwise.” Thor admitted as he sent off a message and put his phone down in the same spot again.

“I'd be tempted to lie if I was face to face with Sigyn, if I'm honest.” Loki commented as the lay down closer to Thor, his nose wrinkling as the smell of stale beer and sweat hit his nose. They hadn't bothered to change last night and were still in their party clothes. He raised his head to see where their medals were and he had to smirk at the sight of them on top of their jerseys and  the wilting flower bouquets that always had to be doled out for the ceremonies. His chest was filled with the sense of satisfaction and accomplishment as he looked at them again. They had done it. He still couldn't get over that and wondered if he ever would. Gold on home soil was nothing to be sneezed at.

“I can't. Saxa knows me all too well and can tell from my face if I'm lying or not. If I'm going to start things off right, I'm going to be honest with her.” Thor's voice cut into hist thoughts, scattering them into the wind.  He opened his mouth to reply at the same moment that Thor's phone chirped twice.

Loki watched again as Thor scrolled his way through the messages, remaining quiet as he watched Thor reply to both of them before climbing out of bed and running his hand through his tangled and sticky hair.

“I have to go. Tazer's pulling rank as a captain and wants to meet for breakfast.”

Thor explained, his voice painfully flat as he tried to hide the anxiety Loki knew was building up in him. He couldn't blame him. Not when it had been Tazer that had walked in on them last night. He knew what that seemingly innocent summons meant. He nodded and got out of bed, stretching a bit as he did so.

“Gotcha. Don't worry about me then. I have to get cleaned up and start packing. It's not like we have that much time to spare anyways.”

Loki replied, making Thor nod distractedly as he gathered up some clean clothes.  He paused on his way to the bathroom and gave Loki a one armed hug before he shut himself into the bathroom. A second later, the water was running and Loki got out of bed, stretching until his back gave a series of satisfying pops before he looked around the room. He hadn't been joking when he had told Thor he needed to pack.

Although they were both fairly clean, they had accumulated the usual souvenir and scattered clothes and in Thor's case, scattered paperbacks in the room. If they were to leave on time, they were going to have to do something about the situation. And if it was a great distraction from the upcoming meeting between Thor and his captain, he wasn't going to dispute that side benefit at all.

~*~*~*~*~*

“How is it that you don't look like death warmed over?” Tazer groaned as Thor, freshly showered and wide-awake, slid in the chair across from him.

Thor shrugged. “Left early. Didn't feel like getting off my face.”

Tazer growled softly as he reached for the steaming cup of coffee in front of him and poured a dash of milk in it to cut through the bitterness. He stirred in some sugar and Thor did the same to his coffee, both of them sipping their respective coffees quietly as they looked through the menu.

“So what can I get you gentlemen?” The waitress was a sweet-faced and perky girl with mocha skin and dark hair that would have made Thor and Tazer look twice in a normal day, but only elicited tired smiles and mumbled replies that she took in stride before disappearing to get their orders.

Tazer took another long sip of his coffee before he finally spoke.

“How long has it been going on between you and Laufeyssen?”

Although brutally blunt, Thor appreciated that they weren't dragging out the situation any longer as they sat there.

“We've been friends for a while. We didn't get serious until the Olympics.” Thor replied honestly. Tazer nodded and put his cup down.

“You love him?”

Thor's eyebrows shot up. Out of all the questions he expected, that was not one of them. Tazer snorted at the shocked surprise on his teammates face.

“Despite popular belief, I am human. So answer the question: Do you love him?”

“So much that it scares me.” Thor admitted.

“No wonder why you both were suddenly a hundred times more on at the Olympics. It was insane. Even more than the line chemistry. You guys killed it. I should have known that was the case, but you seemed so happy with Jarnsaxa...” He shook his head and Thor swallowed down the lump he felt in his throat at the mention of Saxa.

He kept his eyes on his cup as he continued to explain why things had changed so rapidly between them.

“I was. I loved her. But it's so much different with him. I cant see myself not being with him. Just like I can't see myself lying to Saxa and building a life with her while having Loki on the side. It's not a life for anyone.”

Tazer's breathing caught sharply at that. Thor looked up to see dark red blotches across Tazer's high cheekbones and pale face.

He knew those signs all too well. He had hit a nerve somewhere and it only took him a few second to put two and two together.

His mouth opened and closed, but he couldn't find the words to actually ask who it was or how long it had been going on or whether it was another teammate or was he on a different team. Or maybe it was-

“It's Sharpy. We've been seeing each other since last season. Before you came.”

Thor knew his jaw had dropped when he heard the news. Sharpy? That was not what he expected at all. He was positive that Tazer was totally straight, or had a thing for Kaner. The way that he looked at the little blond had made Thor wonder. But he had never really thought about it, since he had been pretty immersed in his own life to really take note of it.

“Isn't he engaged?”

Tazer's only reply was a brittle smile that was quickly hidden by the rim of his coffee cup.  He took a slow swallow for Thor to regain his composure before he continued.

“He is and before you ask, he does love me. But you know what can happen if you don't have a girlfriend or a wife in this sport. There's only so much deflection you can do. It's all about deception if you're not completely straight.”

Thor grimaced and although he wanted to tell Tazer he was worth so much more than being a piece on the side, he held back. It wasn't his business to force his choices on another person. Even if it was painfully obvious that it wasn't _quite_ what Tazer wanted out of the situation.

“How could you do it? How was it not hard to choose him over her?”

Thor shrugged.

“How could I not? He's the person I want to share everything with. There's no compartmentalization with him. He knows what it is to be on the ice. He knows the same pressures. Our cultures are close. He adds something to my day. Even with Saxa, I couldn't get all of that. He's everything I hoped for in a partner and much more. How could I settle for only a bit when I could have a hundred percent of it?”

“He can't give you a family. Children and all that.”

Tazer's voice was sharp-edged and Thor shrugged, not wanting to add salt to that wound. It would explain the reason why Sharpy was keeping both of them in a stale-mate. Thor knew, just from the dangerous brightness in Tazer's eyes that was the bone of contention between them.

“We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Thor replied softly.

“You have to be more careful then. You can't be as careless as you were at the party. Being discreet is the name of the game. Otherwise, you might as well kiss your career goodbye. Or him.”

Although he bristled at the advice, he had to admit that Tazer had a good point and who else to give him the advice? He was sure that no one else really knew about him and Sharpy. He would guess maybe Bur, since those two were glued at the hip. Maybe Buff? Or Duncs?

He shook his head. He was done speculating. It wasn't any of his business anyways.

The conversation was stalled by the abrupt arrival of the waitress with their food.

“Just be careful, that's all I have to say about this.”

Tazer told him once the waitress was gone.

“You too.”

Tazer's expression cracked for a second before it smoothed back in its usual smooth facade.

“Always.”

~*~*~*~*

“I hope you can pack fast. We're expected downstairs in half an hour.” Loki greeted him the minute that Thor entered their hotel room.

He swore and got to work. He wasn't going to be the slob that was going to be the hold up. Without a word, he got himself organized in ten minutes and did a sweep in the next ten, silence being his only companion as he worked. It wasn't until he had zipped and locked his suitcase that Loki finally spoke.

“What did he want?”

“To talk about you and me and to give me some advice. Nothing horrible.”

Loki's eyebrow shot up at that answer. “Who'd have guessed?”

“Yeah, that was my reaction too.” Thor admitted.

Loki sighed heavily, relief flooding his body as the threat he had suspected from Toews never materialized. He had been prepared to retaliate in case things went that far. It had been a relief to hear that it was unnecessary after all.

“Allright. Your phone’s been beeping the whole time you were downstairs.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It’s weird. Unless you forgot to tell your family what happened last night or something.” Loki commented, making Thor snort as he picked up his phone to check the messages.

Thor shook his head and smiled as he flipped through the messages, most of them being congratulations or endorsement offers that he would talk to his agent about later. When he got to Jarnsaxa’s message, he lost his smile and actually felt like he had gotten punched in the gut when he read it. He made a strangled noise and covered his hand with his mouth, his body curling up on itself as he did so.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Loki asked, tentatively putting his hand on Thor’s shoulder when he saw how distraught his lover was.

“It’s my dad…He’s in the hospital…I have to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all for your patience. This chapter took a life of its own again and I swear that it will wind down soon enough and gear up into the regular season. I still haven't decided if both of their teams will get knocked out or who will be the Cup Champion. Enough time, I guess. Anyways, enjoy and thanks to all that are reading and being the cheer section. Much appreciated!


	13. It Has Begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's family again has been dealt a blow and Thor again learns the painful lesson that all men must die. Even if they are fathers and seemingly immortal. 
> 
> Saxa learns not everything works out and Tazer proves he's actually human yet again.

He wasn't surprised to see that it was Bragi that was waiting for him once he got out of the airport in what seemed record time. Loki had been a lifesaver in taking his bag and assuring him that it was no problem before Thor had basically run out of their room. Babcock and Yzerman had been appraised of the situation and had gotten him a flight to Ontario with little time to waste. He had been thankful that there hadn't been any hassle over the situation and was now in Asgard, embracing his red-eyed and disheveled brother. 

“How-”

Bragi shut him up by grabbing him and embracing him tightly, burying his face into Thor's shoulder. Bragi's body felt like a too tightly coiled spring in Thor's arms and that stopped him from asking any questions. Bragi's response was telling in itself: It was bad. 

“I'll tell you in the car. Do you have any bags?”

Bragi asked once he had finally managed to get himself composed enough to get going. 

“Nah. Loki took my stuff with him. He'll hand it off to Tazer or Sharpy.” Thor replied as they headed towards Bragi's car. 

“So you guys worked out your shit then?” Bragi asked, unplugging it and going inside and starting it with a low purr of a well turned engine.

Thor bit his lip as they clicked on their seatbelts and Bragi pulled into traffic.

“You can say we did more than that.” 

Bragi raised an eyebrow at that and turned to look at his brother faintly. 

“So you guys are blood bros now?”

Thor swallowed hard before he gathered enough of his courage to actually tell a member of his family exactly what was going on between him and Loki. 

“We're dating, actually.”

Bragi slammed on the brakes, lurching both of them forward. Luckily, they were still in a mostly deserted airport parking lot and no harm was done. 

“What the fuck? Seriously? You guys are going out now?”

Thor nodded, his pulse throbbing in his neck and his Adam's apple bobbing rapidly as he waited for Bragi to do something other than just ask him questions and look at him as if he had just grown another head. 

“Well, you don't fucking waste time, that's for certain. It was what? Just four nights ago or something like that you were whinging about him and now you're fucking him. Didn't think you'd have it in you.” 

Thor choked at the choice of words and Bragi turned an even pastier shade of pale at that before he gave an exclamation of disgust and got the car moving again. 

“Forget I said that. Considering I do PR, I should honestly be shot for that.” 

He shook his head and looked out the road, giving his brother only a short glance before he focused on the road. Although they lived in an area that wasn't as out of the way as Jotunheim, winter driving wasn't a joke and Bragi wasn't about to take any chances.

“Look, Thor. I saw you guys play. That's some tight chemistry you both have with each other. I thought you had something super heavy with Kaner, the way you two idiots can read each other. But with Laufeyssen? Idunn told me that if she didn't know any better, that she would think you guys had something other going on.”

Thor laughed shortly, the sound a bit hollow and forced as he did so. 

“You're my brother and I've been watching out for you for quite a long time. Does he make you happy? If he does, then that's good enough for me. It's not like I've not been in that rodeo myself in the past either.”

“What the fuck? Bragi! Seriously man?”

“Look, you opened that door, so get over it. Considering you've probably already done everything I did during Univer-”

“I really don't want to talk about my sex life at this time, Bragi. Nor do I want to know why you have no gag reflex, as you were oh so kind to demonstrate at Forseti's birthday party last year.”

Bragi snorted out a harsh laugh at the memory, setting Thor off into a fit of manic cackling that lasted for a few minutes before both of them managed to calm down before it edged into hysteria. 

Once they had settled down after a few false starts, Bragi finally cleared his throat before he pulled into a Tim Horton's drive thru to get some coffees.

“The usual?” 

Thor nodded and Bragi rolled down the window to rattle off a pretty big order of several coffees, iced teas and some bagels. Once they heard the total and drove to the next window, Thor pulled out his wallet and was promptly stopped by his brother.

“I know you're the big shot of the hour, but I got this.” Bragi told him, pulling out his own wallet and handing a couple of crisp bills over while putting the order on Thor's lap as he waited to get his change. 

“One of the bagels is yours as well as one of the Earl Grey's. Three creams, yeah?”

“Yeah. So uhm-”

“Just give me a few minutes, then I'll tell you everything, okay?” 

“Yeah. I can do that.” Thor replied softly as he dug the cup with the tea bag hanging out from under the lid and popped the drink spout ope, letting a bit of the steam escape as he waited for Bragi to get his thoughts together. 

It was a few minutes more until Bragi finally got himself together. 

“Dad was shoveling the walk after the game when some drunk kid lost control of his car and ran him over. Hodr heard everything and Forseti called the cops before he could drive away.”

Bragi stopped and took a shuddering breath to calm down and Thor felt his face blanch as the blood left it. He understood now why Bragi had stalled this long. It wasn't just to protect him, but also to protect himself and it was then that Thor realized that Bragi, despite all of the burdens that he had shouldered so easily in the past, wasn't completely made of stone. Nor was he as cold or as unaffected as he always made himself out to be.

“It's...It's not looking good now, that's why Jarnsaxa texted you after we couldn't get a hold of you. I'm sorry that it was such a shitty way of getting it to you. I really am.”

Thor turned his head away to look out the passenger window, his breathing coming in sharp bursts as he tried to make sense of what he had just heard. 

It was too much, to have his brother's emotional fallibility and his father's mortality be exposed at the same fucking time. Was it just a couple of hours ago that he had been on top of the world, the medal shiny in his hand and Loki's lips under his? Where the hell had it all gone wrong? What had he done to have this happen? 

He wanted to bury his face into Bragi's chest and cry like had when Balder had died. But he wasn't a kid anymore and he could sense that Bragi was shy of also cracking and cracking badly. Despite the bad blood between Odin and Bragi, the tie of family was still there, strong and unbreakable. Thor also suspected that they also didn't get along because they were so alike: proud, driven and touchy as all out. He also knew that Bragi had always thought that there would be time to address all of their issue and had hoped his wedding to Idunn would be the time and place. But now...that wasn't going to be and Bragi was cracking.

“Don't beat yourself up over it, Bragi. No one could have seen it coming. I'm just glad that I got it in time to come and be with you so that you're not facing this alone.”

Bragi gave a wet laugh that was devoid of mirth before wiping his face with the wool sleeve of his coat. 

“It shouldn't even have happened! He should have fucking just left it! It wasn't as if it was going to matter if he did it today or tomorrow! And that fucking kid! It's just...It's not _fair_! He was supposed to always be there! He's our _father_!

`Bragi jerked the car into the shoulder of the road after that outburst and jumped out of the car, leaving Thor stunned for a few seconds before he too, was shoving the food and drinks into the backseat and running after his older brother. 

He didn't say anything. What could he say? He understood all too well. He had felt the same way when Balder had died and even though he wasn't as close with his father, he felt the grief at losing the man he thought of as immortal. Even though he could see the signs of aging in the man, he too, thought like Bragi. 

“Come here.” He whispered, gathering his brother into his arms and holding him, painfully aware of how the roles had changed from the last time that they had had to face grief together. Despite the practice, Thor was all too aware of how painful and awkward it still was and how it was still hard to go through.

“He's not supposed to die! Not like this!” Bragi cried out, his words half-muffled by the fabric of Thor's coat. 

“I know.” Thor whispered, repeating the words over and over until the storm passed. 

~*~*~*~*~

Loki chewed on his fingernail and thumbed the screen of his phone for what felt like the seventh time in that hour. Although he knew it was pointless to expect a message from Thor, he still hoped against hope that he would get something. He cursed himself for being that selfish. He knew better to expect something after the news had broken. 

They had been sitting in the airport lounge, waiting for their flights when an image of Thor and another man that had smoother features and was clearly family flashed on one of the airport televisions. It looked like they were going into a hospital and he was sure that he heard Tazer and Sharp both let out a few choice curses when they realized what had happened.

“Poor kid. It's not like it wasn't bad enough to lose his brother and now his dad. Shit.”

Sharp muttered, tapping at his phone before excusing himself from the lounge to no doubt make a phone call. 

“Has he contacted you?” He looked up only to meet Tazer's dark gaze. 

“Not yet. I've tried, but I think he turned off his phone.” Loki replied, while Tazer only nodded. 

“They don't let you leave them on in the ICU.” Tazer explained softly, making Loki's throat tighten up at what that statement implied. 

Tazer's mouth thinned and he nodded grimly once it sank in.

“Fuck man. Just...Balder was bad enough. Now their dad. Fuck.” Loki shook his head and Tazer sighed heavily. 

“Yeah. It seems that he always has to pay for all he gains.” 

Loki snorted, but he couldn't deny that the sentiment was all too painfully true when it came to Thor. Sure, he had gotten picked second, had a good streak going and had been part of the gold medal team. His future should have been bright without any other worries than making the playoffs and staying healthy. Yet he was sitting in an ICU waiting for the worst to happen. 

The conversation was cut short when both of their phones chirped at the same time that their names were announced over the PA system. 

They looked at each other as they checked their phones and gathered up their stuff. 

“We're going to Asgard. We have to pick up our tickets.”

Tazer announced as he showed Loki the new itinerary. Loki swore softly before he looked up from his phone, his face blank as he spoke through numb lips.

“Thor's dad just died.”

~*~*~*~*

“Oh I'm so sorry, Thor. So sorry.” Saxa murmured as she rubbed small circles into his back as her boyfriend clung to her in the hallway of the ICU. They had just gotten the news and Thor had walked out of the room. His mother was comforting Hodr and Bragi was crying into Idunn's shoulder and there was no way he could stay there. He needed to get out. Get some air and he was nearly out of the room when Saxa ran to him. 

He had watched her come to him and hadn't done anything. How could he? His father had just died. His heart, the shock...He couldn't stay alive. Thor was numb. His father was gone and all he could think about was the lines of some poem a friend of Balder's had read at his funeral, about how everything had stopped because a loved one was gone. 

Saxa had hugged him and he couldn't let go of her. He couldn't stay adrift in those waters of doubt and grief. If he did, he would just drift away and he was afraid that if he did, he'd never come back. 

So he let her rub circled in his back and he tried to not choke on the tears and the grief that clogged his throat and blurred his vision. 

At least until he heard their voices. 

Bewildered, he lifted his head and wiped at his eyes to make sure that he wasn't just seeing things. 

Sure enough, Loki and Tazer stood there, sympathy in their eyes as they watched him. 

“ _Han er borte.”_ Thor told Loki in a thick voice.

Tazer looked at Saxa, who whispered the translation to him softly. 

“ _Eg viet.”_

Loki replied, dropping his coat and messenger bag on the floor before he crushed Thor into a hard embrace. 

“ _Jeg beklager kjærlighet”_ He replied, making Saxa stiffen and Tazer wonder what it was that had prompted that reaction from her.

“I'm sorry, love.” She whispered before turning to Tazer and looking at him sharply. 

“He loves him? Laufeyssen?”

Tazer's mouth closed and shut a few times before he finally squared his shoulders and moved forward. 

“He does.” 

Saxa nodded, as if her suspicions had been confirmed. 

“I'm so sorry. Believe me, It's not an easy thing to see. I know, believe me. I know.”

Tazer explained, reliving all of the times that he had to watch Sharpy and Abby and force himself to school his features to not show how much it gutted him to see that. To know that despite his best efforts, he wasn't the one that was truly wanted. 

Saxa looked at him, her gaze suspicious and cutting as she examined his face as if she was looking for proof that he was lying. After a few minutes, she must have found that he was sincere and it was then that her face crumpled and Tazer wrapped his arms around her.

“I know you do.”

Tazer didn't reply and held her tightly. 

There was nothing else he could do for her, or Thor or anyone else. 

This was it. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty heavy chapter and it sort of, kind of borrows from RL. Not saying which parts though. Grief and death are harsh things to deal with and that is why I haven't been as explicit with this as I have been with other chapters. Honestly? It's one of my biggest fears to get a phonecall like that and not being able to go home. It's happened to a friend and I have had the across the world message that shit went down, so this chapter gets its' roots from that.
> 
> Asgard is in Ontario, close to the Quebec border and is technically a Norwegian Enclave. Thor and Loki's conversation was courtesy of a translator. If anyone speaks Norwegian, you're welcome to fix it. It's not a language I'm that good in, so yeah. 
> 
> So basically Thor is telling Loki "He's gone" and Loki replies with "I'm sorry." Only the last line is written out and translated. 
> 
> Cheers and thanks for reading.


	14. And As We Say Our Long Goodbye, I nearly do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodbyes are never easy. Nor is meeting the family in the shadow of one, but Loki thinks he handled it fairly well. Thor is still in shock over Odin's sudden departure and Tazer is ready for anything. Even funerals.

Bragi was sleepily sipping a cup of coffee in the kitchen when Loki wandered in, feeling almost as awkward and self-conscious as he had been during his first tournament away from home. He supposed that they could have avoided that by booking a hotel, but Bragi wouldn't hear of it and had basically manhandled them into the car and to his house.

Bragi smiled at him and pointed to the cupboard blindly. His eyes were puffy and almost swollen shut from last night and he looked like the only thing keeping him upright was the counter he was leaning against.

“There's coffee in the pot. Water in the tea kettle and about seventeen different kinds of tea in the cupboard, milk in the fridge and sugar on the counter. Spoons are in that drawer. I'll start making toast in a minute.”

Loki only blinked at the litany. He hadn't expected for Bragi to have been so on the ball that early in the morning. Thor was still passed out cold in the bed that they were discreetly sharing and Tazer was in the shower last he remembered.

“Uh, thanks. How the hell did you do that?”

Loki asked as he looked into the cupboard and found proper tea cups, the aforementioned tea and a bottle of clover honey.

Bragi laughed quietly.

“Old habits die hard. Whenever Thor had to get to practice, I was the one in charge of getting him to practice. I learned pretty damned fast to have things ready when he stumbled out of bed. I just revert whenever he's in the house again.”

Loki snorted. He could see it. Although he was easily woken up, Thor was clearly not a morning person and didn't really wake up and be fully functional until he had at least two cups of tea in him. As a child, he was probably worse.

“Wow. That's pretty impressive. My brothers wouldn't have been able to do that for me.” Loki commented, making Bragi hum in reply, since his mouth was full of coffee. He watched Loki grab a Yorkshire tea bag and dump boiling water into the cup before he replied verbally.

“Yeah, well, there wasn't really anyone else to do it once Balder was gone. Our parents really didn't have the resources for Thor to be on the ice all the time.”

Loki raised an eyebrow as he stirred his tea, waiting for it to steep.

Bragi sighed and rubbed at his eye roughly with the heel of his hand.

“I don't know exactly how much he said to you, but I'm betting you at least know about our older brother, if you've already fucked him.”

Loki's eyes widened and he choked at the bluntness of Bragi's conversation.

Bragi only raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his coffee.

“He already told me, so don't try and pretend you didn't. Or that you aren't like that. It won't fly. Especially not with you standing in my kitchen in the morning of my father's funeral. No teammates go that far unless there was something going on.”

Loki's face went from pink, to pale white and back to pink again once Bragi's words sunk in. He didn't realize that was what it would look like. He hadn't really thought of the ramifications of taking the flight to Asgard or of staying in Bragi's house. After all, Bragi himself had been the one to suggest it the night before.

“You won't get a hotel this time of the night. Asgard's not a big city and besides, you made the effort to come here. We might as well have you be comfortable.”

Loki had actually wanted to argue that he felt better in a hotel, but he didn't have the heart to argue with Thor's brother. Not when the man was grieving and not when he knew damned well that he would be seeing more of him in the future. So as uncomfortable as he was, he tamped it down for Thor's sake and sucked it up.

It still didn't mean that he couldn't feel like he was intruding as he went to get a cup of tea to settle his nerves and prepare to put on a good face for Thor's sake.

At the thought of his _kjaereste,_ Loki couldn't help but to sigh.

It hadn't been an easy night after he had broken down at the hospital. He had been overwhelmed at how Thor clung to him even after the tears had dried up. He had known he wasn't wading into something pretty, but seeing it up close was something else completely. He himself hadn't ever really faced death. He had brushes with it, team-mates relatives. Or a former team-mate. He only remembered going to one funeral in his life when he was seven and his granddam had passed. But all he took from that was a long service and the memory of butter cookies that his brother snuck out of the reception and shared with him.

So he could admit that he didn't know shit in going through the grieving process. Especially not with his secret lover's family and the spotlight involved in the situation as well.

“Is that what it will look like?”

Bragi shook his head.

“The league already covered for you, as did Lemieux. It's common knowledge that you guys were room-mate's during the Olympics. Sending you and Tazer over here just makes for more feel good press. The hero side-stepping the media circus to support his grieving friend. It's something that I would spin, to be quite honest. It just makes you guys look better and hides any other motives that could have prompted the visit. So no, your secret is safe here. But of course, I will rip your still beating heart if you do anything to hurt my brother. He left a decent girl for your cold ass. Don't forget that.”

“How could I? He's...He's fucking everything to me. I'd kill anyone that would do the same to him. Including myself. You don't have to worry about that.”

Bragi smiled, the expression looking so foreign on his ashy face despite the laugh lines that said otherwise.

“I just had to make sure. He's been mine to take care of since he was nine. I just want the best for him.”

Loki looked down at his cup and sighed.

“I know how that is. He just brings that out in you, that wanting the best for him. Except for the Cup. I get that first.”

Bragi laughed joyfully at that, the sound a bit incongruous in the wintery kitchen and even though Loki felt that he should be frowning at the sound, he didn't feel any real conviction at the feeling. It made things less bleak actually, and Loki felt the slight remains of his earlier discomfort fade away at it.

“Good to see that love hasn't completely clouded your competitive tendencies. I'm sure he'd appreciate working for it, rather than it being given as a pity gift.”

“Yeah, that's also what I got from him. I take it he can thank you for that?”

“Yep. Me and Balder. Our brother instilled it, I refined it. And our father...well, he appreciated it. I just wish...” Bragi's face became pinched again as he trailed off, his lip trapped between his teeth as he looked for the words to express his emotions.

“I just wish he had told him, you know? Even though Thor said he didn't care, following my lead in all of this, we _did._ We always did. And we always thought that he'd come around and _tell_ us. And now he's gone and that's never going to happen.”

He scrubbed at his eyes again and looked away, making Loki avert his eyes and focus on his tea, giving him time to gather his thoughts. He never had to fight for Laufey's approval. Sure, Bylestr and Helbindi always had his back, but they never felt the need to step in be his father. They had all been there when he was drafted. They had the biggest block party when it happened and he still remembered how proud his father and his dam were.

Seeing the sorrow over lost opportunities and the weight of the burden he had willingly taken on with Thor made him realize how lucky he was with his family. It also made him remember to call them as soon as he could grab some quiet time.

Loki swallowed hard and prayed to the old gods he wouldn't fuck this up and turned back to Bragi.

“I know it's cliche, but he was human, your dad. Losing Balder probably broke something in him, like it did with all of you. Thor had you and his dreams that got him out of it. Maybe losing Balder was too much and he just shut down and it sucks. You guys needed him to be your father, but he couldn't do it with you. I don't know. But in the end, it wasn't your problem. Or Thor's or anyone else. You did the best that you did and if Thor is anything to go by...You did a good job.”

Bragi took a long swallow of his coffee, his eyes trained on the tile before he finally nodded slowly.

“It still doesn't kill the grief, but it eases it.”

“What does?” Thor's raspy voice broke into the conversation, making both Bragi and Loki look at him as he stood in the doorway.

“Here. You're going to need it.” Loki replied, handing him the cup of milky tea before he elaborated on the conversation. Thor gave him a sleepy kiss in thanks and swallowed half of the cup before he realized that Bragi was standing right there and turned beet red when he looked over and saw him laughing quietly.

“Not a word, brother. Not a word.” Thor warned, making Bragi raise his hands in defeat while still quietly snickering to himself. Loki was relieved that the question had been forgotten. He didn't think he'd be up for more emotional sharing that morning.

“I don't care. I think it's sweet. You never did that with Saxa. You should definitely keep this one. I like him, as sharp as he is.”

It was Loki's turn to blush red at the conversation that he took himself out of by making another cup of tea while the brothers talked.

“You sleep okay?” Bragi asked, his expression serious as he came up to his brother and pushed the messy tangle of hair away from his face.

“As well as could be expected. I can't believe he's gone, you know? I never thought that he was so human, even though I could see him getting older and shit. It's...I can't believe it.”

Thor took in a deep breath and exhaled noisily as he rubbed his eyes, a trait that Loki noticed he did exactly like Bragi.

“I know. Even after seeing him...It's just unbelievable.”

They both fell silent then, the only noise in the kitchen being Loki making his tea until Thor spoke again.

“When's the funeral? I didn't get that. Mom was gone after I finished talking to Saxa.”

Bragi winced at that. “It's at noon. Sun being the highest, you know. How did it go with Saxa?”

Thor sighed heavily. “She wasn't happy, but she told me that if I hadn't taken the first step, she would have done it. She met someone in school she's interested in. I guess it was a matter of time. It just was shit timing with all that happened.”

Thor looked at Loki, who was simply leaning against the counter and sipping his tea, his eyes downcast. He didn't want to add to the conversation. Especially not after Saxa had given him a tear-soaked smile before slapping him across the face.

“I hope you make him happy, you thieving bastard.” She had told him, her voice full of sorrow and something else that he couldn't have defined before she had wrenched herself free from Tazer's grasp and walked away, leaving all of them standing in the hall staring after her while being utterly confused at what had happened.

It had stung his pride more than anything, but he still didn't like remembering the sickening feeling that he had hurt her at the worst time and he hadn't even meant to do so. He knew that Thor had felt the same and neither of them could look at each other until Tazer finally had grabbed them.

“I've seen messier. You both got off lucky. Come on. We need to find Bragi. You can examine your insides later.”

He was yanked back by Bragi's next question.

“Is she coming to the funeral?”

Thor nodded. “She just texted me saying she would. She did respect him after all.”

Bragi whistled. “She's something else, man. She's going to be okay, that's for certain.”

Thor smiled bleakly. “I hope so. I wish that things could have gone differently. But at least she knows now. And I don't regret having Loki in my life.”

Bragi put his hand on Thor's neck and shook him lightly as he looked at Loki.

“You both are lucky you found each other. Now get some fucking breakfast. We gotta leave for mass soon.”

Thor's face turned ashen and Bragi's face also lost colour and the grief that had been dissipated even briefly settled back into the kitchen again.

“Come on.”

~*~*~*~*~

Thor's shoulder ached and his eyes were gritty as he, Bragi, Tazer and Loki carried his father's coffin into the church. It was happening and he still was mildly in shock over the fact that he was carrying his father's body into the same church he had sat in years ago to watch pall bearers carry Balder's coffin onto the same stone slab. He was also still working through the fact that his mother had actually come and spoken to them long enough to ask whether they would be pall bearers. He had never been as embarrassed or as grateful to Loki and Tazer for being completely cool with the situation, even though there were cameras out there to record the happenings.

Luckily, they had enough decorum to not be as intrusive as they would have been in the States and left the family to do their mourning. Which consisted of a mass entirely in Norwegian and with a dirge at the end of it commemorating their father.

“Who's going to do the dirge?” Thor asked Bragi once they had sat down. Idunn had immediately intertwined her fingers with Bragi's the moment that had happened and although Thor wanted to do the same with Loki, he settled for nudging him and Tazer briefly before they faced the front and waited for the mass to begin.

“Nanna or mother. I still don't know who it came down to in the end.” He replied, craning his neck to see if their sister in law and Forseti had made it to the Church. Thor followed his gaze and smiled briefly at Nanna, who was sitting with Forseti beside her alongside Hodr and their mother.

“Guess we'll find out.” Thor murmured before turning to Tazer and Loki.

“Thank you for being here and Tazer, I'm sorry for the Norwegian to follow.”

Both Loki and Tazer punched him as a reply.

“We know you'd do the same. Don't worry, I've had practice sitting in places where everything goes over my head.” Tazer replied, while Loki surreptitiously stroked the back of his hand with his fingertips.

The mass began and they were silent as it went on, Thor occasionally swallowing hard as the priest's words hit a bit too close to home. He didn't cry though. He was drained from last night and could only bite his lip as old memories of before, when they really had been a family washed over him: His father giving him his first skates, his father taking all of them fishing up North, his father working in his shop, his father telling them about his childhood in Norway. His shoulders shook and he bit his lip hard.

He heard Bragi crying and he reached over to wrap his arm around him, dimly recalling Bragi doing the same for him. Bragi leaned into him and they sat there, united in their grief until the time for the dirge came.

Thor didn't look up until he heard his mother's wavering voice pierce the silence.

He watched her stand by the casket, dressed in the dark gold gown his father loved, her hair in a queenly coronet around her head as she started the dirge.

“ _Odin, Son of Bor. We have gathered to mourn your passing and sing you home to the lands of your father and his father before him.”_

Her voice was low and haunting, the sound of it echoing and re-echoing until it sounded like she had a choir accompanying her as she sang, tears streaming down her face as she did so, until her voice was raw and ragged and then, another voice joined in.

Thor's mouth fell open when he heard Saxa pick up the dirge, along with Nanna not a minute later. Soon, all the women were singing it.

Once the last note died away, he realized that his face was wet and Loki had his hand on his shoulder.

“It's time to go.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tazer and Loki-I have seen teams do things like this for their players and considering that Loki and Thor are HUGE, it would be a good idea to send his teammates to the funeral due to them being close and also as a PR move. Mercenary, but not out of the realm of possibility.
> 
> I also suspect that even though Tazer is probably wanting to run for the hills, he does care that much about Thor to be there for him in a tight situation.
> 
> Loki and Bragi-Their face off wasn't as hostile since they are both silver-tongued devils who care about Thor desperately, so it will be a war of words with them. 
> 
> Dirge and Mass-I was purposely vague because I am not Lutheran.I have only gone to Catholic and Anglican funerals. But I do know that if there is a big enough enclave, they have their own language services. 
> 
> The Dirge was an idea I had after re-reading The Two Towers and I figured that it was a nice touch to have it being sung as a farewell, rather than a hymn. Yes, they have some kind of religion, but I also figure that they would still keep their roots in the old Gods, which Loki makes a mention of in the beginning.
> 
> Title from "Run" by Snow Patrol. Proofed, but if errors remain, they will be fixed when I'm not crosseyed and watching the World Cup.


	15. But I'm Still Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki realizes that he needed to open up to someone that he considers a friend and tries to give advice while continuing to keep an eye on Thor, who seems to be coping with his dad's death. Until fate in the form of the Bruins and Chara changes all of that.

Chapter 15-But I’m still breathing

Loki’s was thumbing the lock screen on his phone when the door to his room opened to reveal a very tired and very angry looking Flower. Although he was a bit annoyed at the sudden intrusion, he was all too aware that Flower wouldn’t barge into his hotel room without a good reason. So he simply sat on his bed, turned off the tv that he had on in the background, put his phone away and waited for Flower to decompress enough to talk.

As he had guessed, it didn’t take Flower long.

There was a rapid fire burst of Quebecois French that Loki could only just follow, so thick and peppered with expletives that it was. He knew that Tanger and stubbornness was in there somewhere, but not enough to give him a clue as to what had gotten Flower’s infamous temper up so high. He didn’t interrupt though, only waited for Flower to ran himself out before actually speaking.

Something he didn’t get to do since Flower flung himself on the bed and looked at him with dark eyes that were so sharp and deep Loki’s words froze in his mouth.

“How did you do it with him? How did you keep him from imploding after the funeral?”

Loki blinked and he worked his jaw, not quite sure what Flower was talking about.

“Come again? What do you mean?”

Flower dragged his hands through his hair, messing up the careful work Loki knew he put in every morning to keep it away from his face. But that didn’t matter right now to Flower, who looked like he was on the edge of tears.

“Tanger. He’s…He’s starting to get all weird on me.” Flower muttered.

“Weird like how? Tanger’s a weird guy, already, so you’re going to have to get more specific.”

Flower gave him a withering look before he continued.

“He’s been horribly secretive and distant. He’s also been sneaking out after curfew and getting drunk too often than not. I try to talk to him and nothing. He’s been avoiding me now. I just have no idea what the hell is going on with him and I’m worried. He’s not been like this ever since the summer, when…” Flower winced and Loki swallowed hard.

Loki knew what he was alluding to. Although he hadn’t know their mutual friend well, he knew how hard of a blow it had been to both him and Tanger to lose him. Particularly Tanger, who had been closer to Luc when they had been playing in Val-Dor in juniors. It had been eating at him and Flower was doing his best to keep him together, but the cracks were beginning to show.

Loki sighed heavily as Flower crawled up the bed and settled next to Loki, who was sitting with his back against the headboard. He waited until he felt Flower’s head rest on his shoulder to actually say something to Flower about Tanger.

“I don’t know. I wish I could tell you something that worked for sure, but we’ve been doing the same thing. I listen to him, I back him up and sent him to the psychiatrist when he needed it. Called Bragi to keep an eye on him. I don’t know why he’s fine and Tanger’s starting to lose it.”

Flower sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Flower turned to look at Loki.

“What is it about you that made it possible then? I’m Tanger’s best friend and I can’t get through with him like you did with Thor.”

Loki winced and bit his lip. Although Flower was his best friend on the team, even he didn’t know about the exact nature of his relationship with Thor. Flower only knew that they were close friends off the ice and nothing more. He hadn’t pried and Loki hadn’t felt the need to address it until now. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Flower, but he had learned his lessons too well when he was younger.

Thor and Tazer had been a massive leap of faith and that had been as much as he could do at the time. But now, with Flower looking for answers to help Tanger, he had to tell him. It would be too cruel otherwise. And yet another motion of cowardice on his part, since he wasn’t being honest with the person that he considered his best friend on the team.

“He’s not just my best friend, Flower. He’s my boyfriend.” Loki replied in the most matter of fact voice he could muster up, leaving Flower to just look at him with wide eyes before a huge smile broke out on his face. He let out a few huffs of sharp laughter before he shook his head and swung his legs over the bed to sit up.

Loki watched him numbly, wondering if he had seriously misjudged his friend. He wasn’t about to let himself feel the pain that usually followed those kinds of rejections. Although it was sharp and cutting and he knew he was going to need a long Skype session with Thor and Bylestyr and Bragi, he held it all back. He couldn’t afford to let anyone see him crack.

Finally, after all that waiting, Flower finally turned around and gave him a shy and relieved smile. Loki blinked, completely confused at Flower’s reactions. He was even more confused at Flower’s next words.

“Oh man. Really? Just like me and Tanger then.”

Loki blinked and he felt his mouth fall open at the casual admission that Flower had just made. He had been so sure that Flower was going to reject him and walk out of the room and his life that he hadn’t prepared for the other scenario and was left completely dumbfounded at what had just happened.

“What? You and Tanger? Since when?” Loki finally managed to get his brain and mouth working in tandem enough to actually process the curve ball that Flower had just lobbed at him.

Flower’s face flushed at the same time that a small, but proud smile curved his lips as he nodded. His eyes though, had a similar wary, hopeful shine to them that he had seen reflected in the mirror when he had just gone up to Rimouski. It was the sight of his younger self, who was always wary and afraid, but not careful to not show it that made him reach over and clap a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Me and him have been going out since we came to the team. We grew up close to each other and things just happened. That’s why I’m so worried about him. I know you helped Thor, so I’m asking you for help. And now that I know what you have between you...I am just asking for anything you can give me, I’d be so grateful. So please, if you can help me. Help him.”

Loki snapped his mouth shut and breathed out a snort of relief before turning the grip he had on his friend’s shoulders into an embrace.

“Okay. I...I don’t have much experience. But Flower, if things get worse...Maybe get someone else involved. His family. the team psychiatrist. if he’s going to crack, it’s better to get someone that knows their stuff.”

Flower gave him a searching look before nodding and slumping back against Loki’s chest.

“I guess. I just...I just don’t want him to think that I’m ratting him out. Or worse, think that I don’t want to help him.”

“That’s a risk you have to take. But he’s more than your friend. This is you, helping him before shit hits the fan.”

Flower winced and Loki knew he was being just a bit harsh, but he had to cover all of the possibilities. Flower wanted sympathy and advice and he knew that if he was in the same position, he’d want the same thing from a good friend.

Flower hummed an agreement and curled up into Loki’s chest, reminding Loki of Bragi’s cat. Roy the cat had developed a fixation on Loki and had more often than not clawed her way into his hoodie whenever he was sitting in the living room beside Thor and Tazer. He smirked, despite knowing that Flower couldn’t see him and probably would be pissed to be compared to Bragi’s cat.

“Yeah. I know.” Flower replied after a long period of comfortable silence between them.

“Cool. I just want to make sure that you don’t think I’m just saying it to be a dick.”

Flower murmured another reply, making Loki shake him off.

“Stop sleeping on me! I’m not a pillow and I don’t want to get your drool on me. Let’s get something to drink or eat.”

“But you’re so warm and fuzzy!”

“Fuck off before I get up and let you fall on the floor.”

“You wouldn’t! You’re too-”

The last comment was cut off by Flower’s girly shriek as Loki proceeded to do just that, only catching Flower before he tumbled onto the ground.

“I take it back, you’re an asshole worthy of Max.”

“Thank you. Now are you ready to go?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Let’s go.”

~*~*~*~*~*

Thor was yawning widely when his computer started to make noises. Frowning, he sat down and clicked on the Skype window to open it.

He grinned when he saw it was Loki sitting on a hotel bed, nursing a cup of tea and Thor recalled that the Pens were in the middle of a six game road trip and wouldn’t be home for at least a couple of weeks yet.

“Good game tonight. You were pretty awesome out there. You’re going to be captain pretty damned soon if you keep playing that way.” Thor complimented him once he settled in front of his laptop and stifled another yawn. He had a game tomorrow and it felt like he was forcing himself to keep pushing through the exhaustion that had been creeping up steadily ever since the funeral.

The playoff push was in full swing and even though he was always eager to prove himself, he felt like he hadn’t been able to get a decent night’s sleep in what felt like years. He was planning to sleep after he talked to his boyfriend. He smiled at the thought and a warm feeling pulsed through his body. Despite seeing each other as much as their schedules could allow them and making Skype dates, he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he missed sleeping next to Loki, having his cheek pressed against his shoulder, their hair mingling together before they slowly woke up.

“Thanks. You’re not looking so bad yourself. What, a seven goal scoring streak? You guys are sure to be in the playoffs. I wish I still had you as my winger.” Loki replied, looking fondly at his boyfriend and reaching out to touch the screen while wishing that he was there to wipe the tiredness that creased Thor’s face.

Thor snorted and smiled, reaching out and touching the screen so that his and Loki’s fingertips met onscreen.

“If we win and Shero plays his cards right, who knows?”

Loki’s eyes widened at the idea and Thor had to smile as Loki’s eyes focused inward as he thought up plays and combos that they could use if that were to happen. He did that for a solid miniute before he shook his head.

“Bowman would be stupid to let you go. It’s a good pipe dream and I wish it was happening right now so that we weren’t so damned far apart.”

Loki lowered his hand and ran it through his hair, sighing deeply before looking sharply at Thor.

“How you holding up? You look pretty burnt out.”

“I am. We’re getting three days off, though. I need sleep badly, but I should be able to catch up then. Otherwise...It’s good. We’re making the push, but then, who isn’t? I miss you as always. Bragi’s there as is Nanna. It’s as good as it can be, so please don’t worry so much about me.”

Loki’s mouth twitched and he shook his head. Although Thor was as selfless as it came, always making sure that Loki  was the one taken care of when  Loki was more than capable of taking care of himself. He had a stubborn independence that only Bragi and now him and Tazer had broken through, but it was still there. Especially when he was licking his wounds. Loki loved that about him, but it was still frustrating whenever he tried to help him and  now with Flower and the issue with Tanger made him wonder if it was possible that Thor was also backsliding and getting deeper into his grief than before.

He dismissed the thought the minute that he had it, since he had more eyes than Flower did, even though he wasn’t living in Thor’s pocket at all. Despite his faults, Tazer was an invaluable weapon. Tazer had gotten himself involved in the situation and wasn’t going to let Thor slide back into anything if he could help it. This made Loki sure that things would be okay at least until Thor got over the first few months of grief. It was only March. There was still a long way to go before the grief settled into something manageable like it had with Balder.

“I can’t help it. It’s a thing. You worry about me and I worry about you. Part of the deal. Shared joys and sorrows, _kjaeghelit_.” Loki reminded him, waving his hand around in the air that made Thor think of the stage magicians that Balder used to take them to see every time the Fringe festival happened to come to town in the late summer.

Thor smiled at that, his mouth going a bit crooked as he did and making Loki again curse the fact that they wouldn’t be able to see each other for awhile yet. The playoff race was in full swing and he had a feeling that they would only see each other in the final. He couldn’t explain it, but he was positive that they would be facing off across each other in a few month’s time. It wasn’t arrogance. Nor was it wishful thinking. He just knew that it was going to happen. Just like he had known he was going to be a hockey player.

As these thoughts crossed his mind, he watched Thor yawn widely and rub at his eyes, making them red and bloodshot and puffy. Loki recognized the signs of Thor slowly checking out. In a few minutes, he’d be passed out completely, slumping over the desk he kept his laptop on.

“I don’t want for you to go to sleep, but I can see you’re dead tired. I miss you, but you need to get to sleep. Call me when you have slept, allright?”

Thor ducked his head, embarrassed at being caught out, but nodded in consent.

“Of course. Good night, _dyr_.”

“Goodnight, my _dyr_.” Loki replied before they both clicked on the button and ended the call at the same time.

Loki sighed and drank down the cup that was still lukewarm. He wasn’t going to transfer Flower’s anxieties over Tanger into Thor, who could handle himself. He knew if anything were to happen, Tazer and Bragi were close enough to be the ones to step in and man the fort before he got in. He was sure of it.

Everything was going to be fine.

~*~*~*~*~

Thor eyed Chara warily as he bent over and rested his stick across his upper thighs as he waited for the face-off to be concluded. He knew that the giant Czech had been gunning for him ever since the Olympics and now, with his team down by three, the hunting was getting even twice as intense. Thor had avoided him as well as he could, but he had a sneaking suspicion that his luck was going to turn.

“We’ll keep an eye on him.” Buff and Bur had assured him when they caught him eyeing Chara warily and skating away in what could have only been charitably called self-preservation but looked like skittishness to the rest. He had nodded and not said much of anything and kept watching his own back, only letting his guard down to slap a shot past Thomas, who had given him the gimlet eye and promised retribution in return.

Taking the hint, he gave them all a wide berth, but it wasn’t completely possible when there was a face-off to be taken. Luckily he wasn’t chosen, but Peeks was, making him stay in the back.

He skated to position and swore softly when he saw Chara had taken the opposite position. But Thor didn’t let it faze him. He just got ready to take the puck he knew Peeks was going to smack his way and run with it before feeding it to anyone in the zone. It was a play that they had perfected hundreds of times before and hadn’t ever failed in netting them a goal.

Sure enough, as soon as the puck touched the ice, Peeks slapped it over to Thor, who moved as fast as he could out of the zone. Chara was big, but not as fast as Thor when he put his mind to it. He had just gotten it in position and was in the act of passing it to Tazer when he was slammed up against the boards.His head hit the stanchion and he could feel his helmet crack and blood trickle down before he crumpled onto the ice like a puppet without strings.

He heard Peeks shouting and even Tazer’s vociferous arguing before Sharpie and an official knelt down to look at him before everything just went utterly black and there was nothing.

~*~*~*~*~

Loki had just gotten his jacket on and was adjusting it when there was hush across the usually busy dressing room, the only sound being the television they kept on to keep track of the other games in the league. Curious, he got closer to the knot of his teammates that were clustered around and nearly fell on his ass when he saw Tazer’s white-faced fury on the ice as he made a suicidal charge at Chara with Burish and Byfuglien as back-up, while Sharp and Kane  knelt next to the teammate that was on the ice. The rest of the players milled about, their nervousness and worry palpable even on the screen.

Loki felt his mouth go dry as the camera zoomed in to show the still player, whose helmet was broken and half-way across the ice. He prayed it wasn’t Thor’s thirty-one that they would show, but knew that it was a futile hope when he saw the end letters of “ssen” and the number one.

Loki realized later that he must have made some kind of noise, since Flower was the first to look up and come up to him, making it as subtle as possible in case anyone noticed Loki’s distress.

“I’m sorry. Chara’s a dick.” Flower muttered as they watched the EMT’s carefully place Thor’s limp body onto a stretcher before wheeling him off before the chaos resumed into a free for all.

Loki stood with Flower, watching numbly as all of the benches cleared off and the Hawks fighting against any Bruin they could find when his phone chirped and he clumsily pulled it out of his pocket.

_“How fast can you get to Boston?”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't leave any chapter notes when I first posted this. Title is a riff on Placebo's "36 Degrees", since that line, I felt, fit in with Thor and Loki dealing with the fall out of grief. 
> 
> Luc- Luc Bourdain played with Kris Letang in Valdor during their QJHML years. He was on the Vancouver Canucks and tragically died after a motorcycle accident during the off-season. Letang was a close friend and still references him. But not as much as Alexandre Burrows, who is another teammate of Bourdain's on the Canucks.
> 
> Chara-Czech national. Huge and plays for Boston. The hit that I alluded to is a loose analogue of a 2011 hit on a Montreal player, Paccioretty, who ended up with a broken vertebrae. i was living in Montreal at the time and it was a HUGE bone of contention between the two teams. The 2014 elimination of Boston by Montreal felt almost as good as winning the Cup. 
> 
> Needless to say, I'm not a Boston fan. 
> 
> Thanks to all that read and commented. I really appreciate it. I won't have a chapter up for a bit, because I'm leaving China tomorrow and I will be a zombie until at least a week. Again, thanks and cheers!


	16. Have Heart My Dear, And Do Not Be Afraid.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor wakes up to crushing news and his brother. Loki and Jarnsaxa have a moment right before she goes on an errand to Tazer.

Thor’s mouth was dry.

That was the first thing that registered before the pain came breaking through. he winced and opened his eyes. His head was pounding something awful and his temple throbbed with a dull, harsh pain. His mind was fuzzy and he could sense the warm thickness of pain only just held at bay. It was the familiarity with the edge of heavy pain that made him lie still and try and get his scattered thoughts into a semblance of order.

Although it was super blurry and confused, he remembered Chara coming up behind him and slamming him against the boards. He didn’t know what else happened after that. It was all mixed up with blood and pain and the horror of being sure that part of his skull was exposed and he was bleeding out on the ice.

He must have made some kind of noise at that exact moment, because there was a rustle of noise to his left and a blurry shape was suddenly into his view. The sudden appreance of the shape made him dizzy and he closed his eyes lest the headache get even worse than it was.

“ _Dyr_? You awake?”

Bragi’s voice was there, quiet and gentle enough to not aggravate his brother.

“Water, please.”

A straw was pressed against his lips and he took grateful sips of it until it was all gone. He swallowed a couple of times before he spoke again.

“Concussion?”

Bragi sighed heavily as he took the cup away.

“Concussion and skull fracture. Sharp said that Tazer went berserk when he saw the gleam of your skull and went after Chara. You helmet was broken wide open, kid.”

Thor winced again and was glad that he didn’t remember that part. He remembered the blood running down his face, but nothing else, really. And now he was in the hospital, not even six months after dad was gone and…

“Loki? Does he know?”

Thor asked, trying and failing to call up the image of his green-eyed, pale skinned boyfriend and coming up with muddled images like watered down watercolours that had merged into inky blackness and become a distorted picture instead.

“Tazer’s texted him. He’s on his way up, last I heard. Don’t worry. He’s on his way.”

Thor smiled at that. Loki was coming. Just like he had promised he would ages ago.

he sighed in relief and was lying still and relieved until another unpleasant thought made it’s way into his muddled mind.

“I’m out for the rest of the year, aren’t I?” Thor asked, gingerly testing movement in his neck and wincing when the pain sharpened. He decided then to stay still at least until the the pain subsided and he didn’t feel like his head was going to fall off and roll away somewhere. He then shuddered at the mental image and decided to not think about that for the time being.

Bragi sighed and Thor felt his brother grab his hand between his own and squeeze.

“They don’t know yet. You got taken in for scans and stuff before they stapled your skull shut, but nothing’s been said about when you’ll be back playing again. To be honest, with all the blood and your head being cracked open, the last thing anyone was thinking about was when you were going to be back on the ice.”

Bragi let out a heavy sigh and Thor forced himself to open his eyes and look at his brother, even though the room was pretty dark.

“It was...I’m not going to lie. It was downright terrifying, getting that phone call. Kaner and Tazer were beside themselves when we got here, since no one had seen you since they had taken you off the ice. I couldn’t get an answer from anyone and I just kept thinking the worst had happened.”

His breath hitched and Thor winced as he fought to sit up and comfort his brother. Bragi had already gone through this already. It wasn’t fair for him to have to go through it yet again because of that asshole Chara gunning for him.

“I’m so-”

“It’s not your fault, _dyr_. I’ve seen enough of your games to know that there’s always a chance that things like this happen.As for the playing...Tazer might have more information on that, okay?”

“I know, but this coming so soon after dad...It’s not something that I would have wanted to put you into a position to deal with. Nor was it fair to ask you that.”

Bragi shook his head, the movement still recognizable despite the darkness.

“Thor, love, you couldn’t have known he’s smash you that hard. Hell, he probably didn’t think your head would split open like a melon. But it did and right now, I’m glad that you’re still here, banged up, but still with me.”

Bragi let go of his hand then and gently stroked Thor’s forehead as he had done when Thor was younger and sick.

“You gotta rest now. Despite everything, you did take a serious hit. You were out for a long while and when you were conscious, it was as if you weren’t. So get some rest. I’ll be here, okay?”

Thor yawned, stifling it with his hand. Bragi was right. Despite the shortness of their conversation, he was already exhausted.

“Sleep, dyr. You need it. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Bragi murmured,his hand cool against Thor’s bare forehead being the last thing he remembered feeling before he drifted off away from pain and uncertainty.

~*~*~*~*~

Loki walked briskly into the hospital, his face a white mask that showed none of the turmoil that was wracking him from the inside out. He didn’t know how he had kept it together for the flight, only that he had and the closer he got to Thor, the harder it was to keep himself blank and tight-lipped whenever he got someone shoving a microphone into his face.

He couldn’t forget the memory of Thor lying motionless on the ice with his helmet at least twenty feet away and useless. He knew that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t erase the memory of seeing Thor like that. Helpless, broken and lifeless. It made his insides turn to ice.

 _“Thor is going to be fine.”_ Loki kept repeating the mantra over and over again as he wove through the crowds and spoke a few, terse words with security before they let him through to the wing of the hospital that Thor was currently being held in.

He was headed to the room that he had been texted when Jarnsaxa stood up from the chair she was occupying. Her eyes were red and she was clutching her phone like a lifeline when Loki got close.

Loki’s heart fell and he wondered if Thor had gotten worse when Jarnsaxa stood up and smiled weakly at him.

“Bragi’s with him right now. I told Tazer and Bragi that I’d wait for you until you got here.” She explained, making Loki blink and nod.

“I-Thank you.” Loki managed to stammer out, completely floored at the sight of her there, waiting for him so that she could give him news of a man that meant the world to them.

Jarnsaxa’s mouth trembled and she hugged herself as she faced him, making him step forward and put his arms around her. It was an impulsive move and Loki was fully expecting her to shove him away. But all that Jarnsaxa did was accept the comfort and the embrace that he was silently offering before she gently untangled herself from his arms and faced him.

“It was a concussion and a skull fracture. The doctors said he was lucky that his neck wasn’t broken, what with the force that he hit the stanchion. He’s obviously going to be out for the rest of the year. Tazer’s been suspended for two games and Chara got charged.”

Loki blinked at the information, blinking at her as he absorbed it all.

Jarnsaxa turned dark red and looked away as she mumbled her reply.

“Tazer texted me. He’s been the one keeping me informed of everything. He figured that you’d have more on your plate to worry about.”

Loki nodded, his tongue flicking out to lick at his lips as he tried to focus on the fact that Thor was injured, but not as badly as he and everyone had feared when the clips were first aired. He also filed the information away that Tazer was in contact with Jarnsaxa again for future examination.

“So he’s going to be fine.”

He finally managed to say, his voice hoarse with disuse and emotion.

“Yeah. It was a bad hit. I’m not going to lie. But it looked worse than it actually was. Bragi nearly went berserk when he saw the hit and he’s watched Thor get hit in the face with a puck without flinching. It could have been worse.”

Loki blew out a big breath and nodded. He knew that all too well. They all had heard the stories or had the team-mate that had been forced out due to an unluckily injury. It most definitely could have been worse.

“When can I see him?”

“Just go in. I know Bragi won’t mind that you’re in there with him.”

Loki nodded and again reached out to wrap his arms around Jarnsaxa.

“Thank you again. I know how hard it is to be here like this. I know you’re a better person than me if you can do it just like this.”

“He’s special to not just you, Loki. Even if we’re not together, I still care about him. I’m sure you still care about your ex.”

She pointed out, making him laugh a bit quietly as they stepped away from each other. He could see now why Thor had hoped to marry her before they had gotten together.

“Fair point. Still. Thank you for all you have done.”

Jarnsaxa pushed her hair back and nodded before her phone pinged and her eyes widened.

“I have to take this.” She apologized as her phone pinged again, making Loki wave her away to answer it and he was on his way to visit Thor.

Although he was still beside himself with worry, it had eased somewhat with the conversation he had just had with Jarnsaxa. He had some knowledge and that was enough to work with. He wasn’t working with speculation and that did much to reassure him and keep him from falling apart. He couldn’t fall apart. Not when Thor was going to need him.

He took a deep breath and gently pushed the right door open, not surprised to see that it was quite dark with only a small light illuminating Bragi’s sleeping face. It probably wasn’t the best place to be asleep, but the lines he saw etched on Bragi’s face made him hesitant to even try and wake him. Bragi, out of the entire Odinssen family, was the one shouldering a burden much too heavy for one man to shoulder alone.

He sighed quietly and moved towards the bed, careful to not crash or jostle anything on the way there. Once he was there, he looked down at Thor’s sleeping face. His face was mostly bruised and one eye was swollen and neatly ringed in black. On his left temple and part of the side of his head was a large bandage.  Loki could only guess at what was hidden underneath and tried to not picture it. Instead, he focused on the quiet, even breathing and let himself fall heavily into the other chair next to the bed.

He was relieved to see him lying there quietly, undisturbed and free from pain.

He didn’t need to touch him just yet.

Being there beside him was enough at the moment.

~*~*~*~*~*

Tazer paused the NHL 15 game and went to the door the minute that he saw the blinking light on his mobile.  He picked up his phone and grinned at the message he saw there. He was about to type out a reply when the door bell rang.

He was expecting Kaner, pizza and maybe Sharpie and Bur right behind him with a six pack of beer as well. He opened the door and his grin turned into a full on smile when he saw that it was Jarnsaxa standing there, a six pack in one hand and a pizza in the other.

“I didn’t think you were free tonight. Did Loki get in?”

He asked as he stepped aside to let her into the apartment, all the while thanking his lucky stars that he had gotten it cleaned before she had come over.

“Yeah. he’s with Thor and Bragi right now, so I figured it was the best time to come and see you, since you’ve got all this free time now.”

Tazer grinned as he pushed the door closed and took the beer and pizza from her and put them on the side table before pulling her into his arms.

“It was worth it. I’d do it again, if it came to it.”

Tazer told her, his voice taking on an edge before he kissed her.

“Now, I can’t really offer you that much for excitement, but how do you feel about an evening of video games, movies, pizza, and beer?”

Jarnsaxa grinned and kissed the tip of his nose.

“Will sex come after?”

Tazer laughed.

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for such a long silence. I moved back to Canada and have been both jet lagged and looking for work as well and also a bit blocked as to what to write next. I wanted to address the injury and the aftermath as well as to come full circle with the Tazer and Saxa interaction in the last chapter. 
> 
> It's a bit of a stop-gap before the next chapter, which I have a basic idea of what will happen with Thor and Loki and the season. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me. Again, proofed and if there are errors, they will be fixed. 
> 
> Title from Snow Patrol's "Run"


	17. Who are you fighting for?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The finals are here, and Loki makes a promise while Thor watches and waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does have a few time skips here and there because I wanted to capture the frenetic pace of the finals. Plus, I was caught up in the World Cup (DIE MANNSCHAFT!) so it did influence the direction I took with this in a small way. 
> 
> Proofed, but if mistakes occur, they will be fixed. I also did play fast and loose with rosters and events and I claim dramatic licence in this. 
> 
> Cheers and many thanks!

Loki watched his hands tremble slightly as he pressed the number and pressed the phone to his ear. He heard it ring a couple of times before a rough, gravelly voice answered.

“Hej?”

The sound of that voice was enough to make his hands stop shaking and his heartbeat slow down just a bit. Even if it was in the middle of the middle of the Eastern Conference finals. Just one more game against the Bruins and they would be in the Finals against Detroit.

“Hej, Kjaegehlit. I didn’t want to wake you up, but I just needed to talk to you before the game.” Loki apologized, blushing slightly at the words he had just spoken. It was true though, but it still pained him to admit outloud how much the nightly talks that he and Thor had been having calmed him and put him in a good mindset when he was to be on the ice in two hours. He had played and played hard ever since the playoff push had started, despite knowing that one of the opponents they could face in the finals would be the Hawks. But they were obliterated by the Redwings and that worry was shelved, which was a relief, even if he had to do his best to comfort Thor who was bereft and raging after the inglorious exit of his team at the hands of the Wings.

Thor’s laughter answered him, nearly drowning out the noises of Thor shifting in his blankets and sitting up. Although it had been about a month and some since his season ending hit, he still wasn’t up to speed and was actually in Bragi’s home being monitored just in case. Although Loki missed him and his absence hurt like a gouge in his side, he understood that Thor was still not well.

He had headaches and needed to sleep more often than not and was still restricted to light workouts. He also had moodswings and felt incredibly guilty that he wasn’t there to help his team get to the Stanley Cup finals.

“Don’t do that, kjaeghelit. Don’t ever think that. Chara’s the one to blame for that and I can promise you that if the Sabres don’t slam then down, we will. They’re not going to get it this year. I can guarantee it.”

Loki had sworn, vehemently wishing that he was right beside Thor, to hold him and reassure him by simply being there in his presence. To murmur that there would be another chance. Another year and victory would follow. That there was no shame in what had happened to him. He had been knocked out and it wasn’t any fault of his own, but he needed time to mourn that as well as the lingering grief of his father’s death in January.

He needed time and he needed someone to look after him until that was done and despite Loki missing him and wanting desperately to have him near, he knew that Bragi and Nanna were the best people to take care of Thor.

“I know you will, dyr. I know there will be another year. I just hoped it would be this year for the Hawks. They’ve waited so long.”

“I know. I know it all too well. The Pens are in the same situation. We would have eventually fought each other for the privilege. I don’t know if we would have survived it.”

Loki replied softly, knowing all too well the hopes and dreams that rode on his shoulders now that the Pens were so close. The Igloo was fading, the team had been living in the Eastern basement like the Hawks did in the West. Their days of glory had long passed and the cracks were wide and spreading for all to see. They needed the win as desperately as the Hawks did.

He also knew that if he had to fight Thor for it, neither would have survived it without damage. Especially not with what had just happened in Thor’s family and their getting together right after. It was too much of a strain. He wasn’t naive or idealistic enough to know that one would break and no trophy would be worth that. None.

“Mhhmm. I know. But it is a moot point now. Just watch yourself. You know how dirty they can be. And dyr?”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck their shit up so hard that they never forget it.”

Loki gave a low laugh before answering.

“You know it.”

~*~*~*~*~

Loki’s hands twisted around his stick so hard, he could feel the wood weakening as he watched Colby get mopped up off the ice after a hit by Lucic, who had smirked until he was ejected out of the game. Army, he was sure, would appreciate it once he got his brain unscrambled and his forehead stitched up. Right now, they had a game to finish.

Loki released his stick and took a deep breath. He craned his head to look at the scoreboard. He allowed himself a private smirk of triumph. Despite Lucic’s dirty hit, the socreboard wasn’t going to change. The Pens were leading the Bruins by two and there were only seven minutes left. They had the game in the bag if they just kept pressing the Bruins back into their own zone and potting shots at Thomas and things would work out.

“Lokes! Get on with it, man!”

Talbot shouted at him, forcing him to bite back the grin on his face and get to center ice to take the face-off. Krejic and Horton glared at him and Tanger returned the scowl while Malone pushed forward to take his turn to Loki’s left side.

“We’re going to destroy you.” Horton chirped at Loki, who only shook his head.

“Keep chirping, it’s not going to help you score goals.” Loki snapped back, making Horton take a step forward only to be stopped by the linesman who pushed him back and motioned Thornton to take the face off instead.

“Let’s go!”

~*~*~*~

Thor was drinking the herbal tea that Nanna was pressing on him and wincing at the grassy taste when he heard Bragi whooping loudly from the living room.  He would have been out there with him, but even the dimness of the television was starting to give him a slight headache that he knew would start pummelling his temples. He had tested that theory out before, when he had been stubborn and cranky about speeding up his recovery. The headache had been brutal as all out and had taught him a lesson that he hadn’t forgotten.

After that, he had followed every recommendation he had been given to the last letter and despite being frustrated and bored at certain times, he hadn’t dared step out of line. Restlessness had always been his Achille’s heel and he had to admit that despite his grumbling about Nanna and Bragi’s coddling, he had to admit that he’d be in a worse position if he was left by himself.

Putting the tea down lest he spill it all over his front, he stuck his head out of the kitchen to ask his brother what the hell he was hollering about when Bragi rushed out of the living room and picked him up, whooping quieter as he lifted his brother.

“Loki did it! The Pens are in the finals! Those fuckers are down!”

Thor laughed, feeling lighter than he had in ages. Loki had promised and he had delivered and it felt great.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Ready for the game?” Bragi asked as he brought a couple of glasses of Nanna’s Peach Iced Tea to the living room and set them down on the coffee table.

Thor gave him a small smile before he nodded and grabbed one of the glasses and took a long gulp of it, savouring the thick sweetness of the tea that Nanna was so good at making at the beginning of summer.

Once he had swallowed, he looked up at Bragi, who was nursing another glass.

“I know how much you like it and how much you don’t want to miss anything.”

Bragi replied as he carefully sat down beside his brother before turning on the television to the pregame show. He winced when he saw the familiar faces of the Redwings. He had learned too much about them in the last five games that he cared to. It was hard enough to learn all of his brother’s teammates and then Loki’s. If he had to learn anything more about the Redwings, he was positive that his hockey knowledge would have reached critical mass.

He wasn’t that keen on watching hockey, if he was being utterly honest. But he did it for Thor, who although had adjusted to being a spectator until he got the go ahead, liked to watch Loki with someone next to him to trade commentary with. A running commentary that Bragi usually found much more amusing than the usual blustering antics of Don Cherry and the straight deadpan delivery of Ron McClean. He suspected that once Thor had to retire, he’d be a great pundit for whatever station would have him.

“You talked to Loki before the game?”

Thor nodded.

“Skyped last night. He was jittery as fuck because the last couple of games were fucking hard won. It’s come down to this one.”

Thor nodded to the screen. “They both know it. You thought the last games were vicious? This one is going to take the cake. I fucking guarantee it.”

Bragi hummed in agreement as he took a long sip of his own drink, his eyes on the screen as the pregame stuff wound down and they waited for the teams to come out. The Redwings came out, their faces set with a blank determination that made them look even more matured and forbidding. This was a team that knew what they were doing and what they needed to do to get it. He swallowed hard as he waited for the Pens to come out.

Children, compared to the Redwings. Insecure and hiding it behind bravado. All of them, especially Loki, trembling with what could be excitement and nerves. He could see that nervous gleam in Loki’s eyes for a brief flash before it was hidden by a dark streak of mercenary determination.  That change made Bragi re-asses the situation. Although Loki may not have been the captain and only had a recently earned A stitched on his jersey, he had enough determination to rally the troops to a victory.Whether it came during this game or the next, he wasn’t sure. But Bragi knew it was going to happen.

“They’re going to win it tonight.”

Bragi turned to look at his brother, know was leaning forward and resting his elbows on his thighs as he took in the line-ups who stood there while both of the anthems were played. He straightened up, exhaled loudly and nodded.

“For sure. He’s tired of all of this. All of them are. They’re going to do it. They lost last year. They’re not going to let it slip through their fingers again.”

Thor conceded, sitting back and letting his head rest on the back of the couch. He sat like that for a few minutes before he lifted his head to watch the game again. It hurt him, to know that it wasn’t going to happen for his team this year. He couldn’t help but to be wistful about the situation. They had been so close  and there he was, sitting beside his brother, waiting to get the go ahead to work out and start the road to rebuilding that dream and hope again.

“You’ll get there.” Bragi murmured, clapping his hand on his brother’s shoulder, making his little brother smile wryly before nodding.

“Yeah.” He swallowed hard and turned his attention back to the game while Bragi took his hand away and picked up his glass of iced tea and watched the puck drop and the game begin.

~*~*~*~*~

Loki felt like he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs as he sat on the bench. His legs felt heavy and tired and he was bathed in sweat. His heart was keeping up a hammering jackhammer beat in his ears as he watched the numbers on the screen go lower and lower. The score was still tight and although he wanted to be out there with the rest of the team, he was overdue for a rest. He had rallied the troops as much as he was able and he knew damned well that it would have been foolish otherwise to try and push himself when he was nearly beyond exhausted.

“Come on, come on, come on.”

He turned his head to grin at Malone, who was muttering the litany under his breath while his knee kept jiggling.

He wanted to reassure his friend, but knew damned well that until the numbers wound down and the team kept on pushing, they weren’t to jinx the victory. So he kept quiet and waited, biting his lip and wiping at the large gash on his cheekbone that was still tacky with dried blood. A stick had glanced across his face in the last scuffle in front of the net when he had poked the goal in. Not his best score of the game, but it had opened up the scoring and had given the Pens the boost that they had desperately needed. It would scar, but he didn’t give a fuck. Not when it meant that he’d get the Cup and the win like he had promised himself, the team, the city of Pittsburgh and Thor.

The vindication was so close that he could taste it. The numbers were on the lower digits and it was just a matter of-

His breath caught in his throat when Lidstrom went on a breakaway and challenged Flower. Loki swore he didn’t breath as he watched Lidstrom shoot and Flower stretch out to kick the puck out of the crease just as the buzzer went. It was only then, when the sirens went off and everyone left the bench that he realized that they had done it.

They had finally fucking done it.

And he couldn’t help but cry as he jumped onto the ice behind his teammates and joined in the celebration.

He had done it.

He had the Gold Medal, He had Thor and he had the Cup.

His life was complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor's condition is basically a pastiche on research and articles that came out when Crosby had his nasty concussion. I have tried to be as close to RL as possible in this, but I'm not in the medical field. So if there are mistakes, I apologize. 
> 
> I also did change up some of the teams and the year that the Pens won the Cup, since I know they did it in 2009, rather than 2010. Basically, I'm bumping the wins up a year. 
> 
> Yes, this is the penultimate chapter. I basically did cover a season, to my surprise and I will miss this universe and characters, but I think they deserve a complete happy ending, which will for sure come in the last chapter.
> 
> Again, thanks to all that are reading and commenting. Cheers!


	18. My Life Is Brilliant. Of That I'm Sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of their rookie year and Loki celebrates hard, although he can't figure out why there was even glitter involved. Thor on the other hand, is just anticipating getting back into training and his brother's wedding brunch that has more than Thor ever expected to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is basically a coda for this story. I honestly never thought that it would get to this and I hope I did it as much justice as possible. 
> 
> The title is a major riff on James Blunt and courtesy of my friend Gee, who would always point out when I was talking in song lyrics. 
> 
> Proofed and edited, but if there's a mistake, they will be fixed. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading and commenting on this very experimental fic.

 

Loki was laughing like a maniac as he tried to catch the stream of champagne that Tanger was aiming at him. He missed most of it, getting completely soaked. His chest was sticky and wet and the loose fall of his hair was snarled and plastered to his upper body. With the stark black of his tattoos that swirled and curved around his entire torso, he looked wild and untamed. Just like a warrior that had come home from war and was getting his due.

If anyone was giving him strange looks, he didn’t register them. He didn’t give a fuck. He was proud of his heritage and those tattoos. He had paid in blood and pain to get them and he wasn’t about to hide them because some people got awkward at the sight of them. They meant the world to him and he wasn’t about to compromise like he had in the past.   He had the Stanley Cup, his name would be engraved on it. He was, he knew, one of the few Jotunn who had that honour. The Elders would be ecstatic. His dam would be proud as would his brothers and father. All of the sacrifice would be justified after this win.

“Stop wasting it, Tanger and give him a fucking bottle! It’s not like we’re going to run out of it or anything!” Bugsy Malone shouted as Army walked by and handed Loki an unopened bottle.

“Do the honours, chief!” Staal shouted from his corner, making Loki give a loud whoop of laughter before he tore the foil from the bottle, unscrewed the wire and popped the cork. The champagne shot up in a fizzy fountain before Loki finally drank it down, the champagne tasting sweet, tart and cold all at the same time. It put him in mind of the dark midsummer night sitting around a bonfire with his brothers and cousins, laughing and drinking sparkling apple juice and cider after the festivities were over for the day.

“How does it feel to taste success?” Mario asked him once he had swallowed. Loki shrugged and wiped the froth clinging to his beard with the back of his forearm.

“Like Midsummer Night Cider.”

Mario looked relatively stunned for a few moments before he burst out laughing and slapped Loki so hard on the back that he nearly choked.

“Good one! Enjoy that taste and savour it. Keep it in your mind so you never lose your appetite for it.”

Mario told him, winking before he went off to talk to the other players like the good captain that he was. Loki watched him go and shook his head before lifting the bottle of champagne to his lips and drinking deeply, closing his eyes to savour the taste of it as it hit his tongue and went down smoothly and easily.

Once he was done, he opened his eyes and looked around at the pandemonium in the room, laughing once he caught Flower choking on a cigar that someone had been handing out and getting slapped on the back by Ty. Malone was still shouting, but his words were indistinct as it continued. Despite all of it, he was still stunned that they had done it. He shook his head and winced as Hossa smacked him on the back. Although he was enjoying the victory, he was getting damned annoyed at being constantly slapped.

“We did good, yeah?” Hossa asked him, his words a bit slurred and Loki had to wonder exactly how much the other man had put away in such a short amount of time. He could guess it was in the neighborhood of a whole lot if the crossed eyes and red face were anything to go by.

“Yeah. We did. We sure did.” Loki agreed, smiling and taking the proffered cigar being shoved into his face. He wasn’t a smoker, but he figured he could always pass it on to his dad or his uncles or something. Hossa nodded and moved on his way, leaving Loki shaking his head ruefully before he walked over to Tanger, who was still in the throes of victory and living it up with as much fervour as possible.

“Drink it up, Lokes! Drink it all up!”

Loki grinned and tipped his bottle up.

~*~*~*~*~

The next morning found him splayed out on some one's couch wearing jeans and one sock. His hair was a sticky, tangled mess and his mouth was drier than a desert. As he raised his head, he noticed that half of him was covered in gold glitter. He frowned and laid his head down into the pillows again. He really didn’t care to know why that was the case. He really didn’t.

He must have passed out again, since the next time he woke up, it was to the smell of coffee, eggs and bacon.

Smells which promptly made him leap off the couch and make his way to the bathroom he vaguely remembered passing the night before and emptying his entire stomach contents into the toilet. Once he had finished what felt like a never-ending heaves coupled with painful stomach spasms and silent promises never to get wasted like that ever again, he flushed the toilet and looked at himself in the mirror.

“Oh sweet Hela.” He whispered as he looked at himself.

Apart from having his appendix bursting when he was ten at practice, he hadn’t ever looked that horrible. His skin was dead white and greasy, making his eyes stand out from a pretty haggard looking face. The beard covering half his face was matted and he was sure that he looked like one of his uncles that still lived in the north of Jotunheim.

He winced again and shook his head, swearing when it gave him pinging pains warning him of an impending headache that he was going to have to take care of soon.

Pushing the slightest bit of guilt away, he opened the cupboard to find a bottle of paracetamol, a new toohbrush, a razor, and shaving cream on the shelf next to a note that read: _“Take these and clean up. You got clean clothes in the guest room, so when you’re ready, get to the kitchen. And no, you didn’t do anything weird. Call Thor and your family.-Flower”_

Huffing out a small, relieved laugh, Loki grabbed the items and started to do what the note ordered. Swallowing down the paracetamol with a long pull of water from the tap before he started the process of getting back to normal again. Once he had brushed his teeth and jumped into the shower to wash off last night’s party off and gotten his clean clothes on, he walked into the kitchen. Just in time to see Flower and Tanger sitting down to eat the huge mound of eggs, bacon, pancakes and fruit that they had somehow whipped up while he had been otherwise occupied.

“Please tell me you guys have tea somewhere in that pile of awesome.”  Loki groaned as he slumped down and put his head down on the Ikea placemat that he had teased Flower about ordering several months before.

“Yes you whingy little wanker. We got you Yorkshire after the last time.” Tanger added as he put a freshly brewed cup down in front of him, making him look up and give a small sigh of pleasure.

“Ta very much.” Loki mumbled as he took a sip and groaned as the caffeine hit his system. Tanger snickered as he put a plate down and stated serving him and Flower.

“Anytime. How are you feeling?” Flower asked as he snagged some fruit off of Tanger’s plate and ducked when Tanger aimed a swat at him for doing so.

“Like I just crawled back from my Uncle Haakon’s camping weekend during the Summer Solstice. I swear I’m never going to drink ever again.”

Tanger and Flower both laughed as Flower grabbed his cup of coffee and passed another one down the table.

“Famous last words. We said that at the Under Twenty Olympics. We still put it away last night. Oh Malone called. He’s sorry about the glitter.”

Loki nearly spit out his tea and put down the cup and shake his head.

“Why the f-No. Wait. I don’t want to know. Can you pass the butter?”

“Here. That’s probably for the best. We still have no idea how he got all the different packages. Better not ask. Especially after the glow paint incident at Juniors. Some things are best left a mystery.”

Both Tanger and Flower looked at each other and shuddered, making Loki just shake his head. He had been in the same league and had a couple of stories of his own. He got it. He was so not going to touch it.

“Oookay. Yeah. Milk?”

~*~*~*~*~

Thor was scrubbing his hair dry and squinting at the clock to make sure that he wasn’t late. Sighing in relief that he had an hour and some left, he started to get dressed for the brunch. He was pulling on his shirt when his phone rang. He picked it up and smiled at the text he had gotten.

_“Don’t forget the camera. Wouldn’t do to not get pictures this time. It’s on my desk. See you in a few, Dyr.”_

Thor smiled and went to his brother’s office to get the camera and put it on his own bed lest he actually completely forget it.  Texting back a reply, he continued on getting ready for the appointment. Pulling on the charcoal grey jacket over his light blue shirt and trousers, he pulled his hair back into a plait and looked at himself in the mirror to make sure that he was actually decent for the occasion.

Bragi and Idun’s wedding brunch was happening in two hours and he was looking forward to it. Nanna and his brother were like his parents and he was glad that after all of the tumultuous first half of the year, they were finally getting back to normal. He had also gotten the go-ahead to start training again with his team that morning. Plus, Loki had sent him a garbled text in the middle of the night that had a picture attached that showed him drinking out of the cup, wearing Burger King hat, shirtless and covered in gold glitter.

 _“Next year it’s going to be my turn.”_ He texted back, smiling a little before turning off the ringer on his phone, not wanting to wake up to a bunch of drunk texts that would make no sense. Although he and Loki didn’t drink heavily, he knew that things were going to get insane in Pittsburgh and although it ached that he didn’t get the chance to do it this year, he was going to make sure that he would return the favour.

Shaking his head at the memory, he gave himself one last look before picking up the camera, wallet, keys and phone before heading out to the French restaurant that Idun had picked out for the brunch. He hummed along to the radio as he drove there, the only thing on his mind making sure that Bragi and Idun’s brunch would go well. They had waited for a long time to get married and he was honestly looking forward to just having a good time and hoping that no drama would happen. He made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t engage his mother or little brother in any conversation. As much as he loved them, he knew that they would just dig into old wounds that they didn’t need to bring up. Not at Bragi’s big day.

He had just decided on this when he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. Giving himself one last look in the mirror, he grabbed the camera and went inside. He had just given the hostess his name and been led to the hall reserved for the brunch when he was met by Bragi and a gorgeous Idun in a soft green dress.

“You look beautiful. And you as well, Idun.” Thor greeted them, making Bragi punch him as they embraced and Idun laugh raucously as she always had whenever she was amused. That laugh always surprised everyone that had seen her, since she was the epitome of femininity with her long brown hair, classic dresses and sweet face. it also, in Thor’s opinion, made her more human and perfect for a brother that needed some joy in his life.

“You also, Thor. It’s good to see you. I heard the news, you’ll be winning it next year.” She added, her voice a sweet contralto that reminded him of years before, when his mother was still a marker in his life. He grinned at her and was about to frame a reply when he heard a voice that he didn’t think he was going to hear for a long while.

“Just promise to not send me any pictures like I did with my win. Or any glitter.”

He turned around and saw Loki standing there, dressed in an impeccable black suit and dark green shirt. Tazer was right beside him, smirking while Jarnsaxa stood beside them, a mimosa in her hand as she watched the proceedings.  He could only blink in surprise as he saw his boyfriend standing there when he was sure that Loki would either be sleeping his victory party off or heading straight to Jotunheim to wait for his turn for the cup.

“I do believe you’ve made him speechless. Amazing.”

Loki grinned at Jarnsaxa’s comment before he nodded at Bragi and Idun. Bragi’s eyes widened slightly when he noticed the odd look in Loki’s eye. He grinned widely at that and looked at Loki and his little brother.

“Get going. We’re going to start in ten. There’s an empty room over that way.”

Bragi told them, tilting his head to the left. Loki and Thor took the hint and made their way to the room.

“How the hell did you get here? When did you get here?”

Thor spluttered out once the door was closed behind them.

“I was in Pittsburgh. It’s not going to take that long to get here. I wasn’t about to miss your brother’s wedding brunch. Not when he invited me back in January.”

Thor’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he took in the information.

“What? When? He never told me anything!”

He sputtered out while Loki grinned.

“I asked him not to. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

He explained as he pulled out an old looking oak box, scarred and polished with age.

“I wasn’t sure if I was going to be here. Or if you would be.” He looked down at the box and opened it to reveal a thick band of platinum with roughly cut sapphires.

“Or if we’d even get this far, you know? But when I saw you, lying on the ice when you got hit and all I could think about was being at your side, I asked my dam for her ring.”

Thor’s jaw worked as he heard the words and saw the ring that Loki held and was taking out of the box. He held it in his hand before he reached out for Thor’s hand.

His face was pale and his eyes were blinking rapidly as he completed the action.

“I know that we can’t tell anyone other than our families and friends. I know that we’re not going to be in the same cities and we’re going to compete against each other. But I know that even though it’s going to be hard, I want to spend my life with you. That’s if you’d have me.”

Thor bit his lip as he reached out and let Loki slip the ring onto his finger, shaking his head and clasping Loki’s hands between his once the action was finished.

“You can breathe now, Kjaegelit. I will spend my life with you. I know what we’re facing. I know that it’s not going to be easy. But I’d take all of it so that I could be with you.”

Loki’s smile trembled at the words before he embraced Thor, surprising Thor with a forceful kiss that pressed them up against a heavy wooden table.

They probably would have continued kissing if it hadn’t been for Thor’s phone beeping with an incoming text.

He pulled away from Loki reluctantly and checked the phone, scoffing when he saw the message.He showed it to Loki, who laughed as well at the message.

_“I’m sure it didn’t take that long to get engaged. Get your asses out here.”_

“I guess we’d better get going then. Wouldn’t want to ruin his day.”

Thor smiled. “No. We wouldn’t. Come on.”

END.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Jotunheim-His tattoos in my mind look like Te Moko from NZ, but with more geometric designs and runes. They also cover his torso, rather than certain parts of his body. His culture is a mix of aboriginal and Norse aboriginal culture. Yes, he has uncles that still hunt.
> 
> The ring-Traditional symbol of his culture. It is passed down from mother to son, that is why Loki asked his dam for it to give to Thor. When they have kids, he'll pass it down. 
> 
> Asgard and distance-It's technically in Ontario, so the distance would be in par with how long it would take for Loki to come back and honour his commitment. Yes, Bragi was in on it.

**Author's Note:**

> Loki's nickname is a play on the fact that hockey players aren't too creative when it comes to nicknames. Jotunheim and Asgard are technically situated in an AU version of Canada. The teams that they play for exist, but their achievements have been tweaked. 
> 
> The Olympics will make an appearance and Loki and Thor are countrymen in this one, rather than foreign rivals, so again, they aren't straight analogues. 
> 
> Thor's nickname will be revealed later and it is also not a creative one either.


End file.
